I've been taking parenting classes.......
By Stephanie5
@Stephanie5 (2946)
United States
January 23, 2007 8:23pm CST
I started parenting classes last week. This is the 5th time I've taken them. I'm not being made to take them, I take them by choice....So, I thought I'd share some things that I learned tonight and get some input from all my fellow mylotters about it. What's your opinions and views?
Ok, first thing we talked about was What kind of parent are you?
Are you a "my way or the highway" parent, or a "one day you'll thank me" parent, or a "hug and cuddle them" parent, or the "good book" parent, or the "ok" parent...where you ask them things like "We are going to grandma's house now, OK?" or " I'm going to spank you now that you've done something bad, OK?"
I'm a little of all....
Parenting is the toughest job out there. There are so many right ways and wrong ways and trying to sort through those ways and figure them out will drive you batty. One of the first thing this parenting class has pointed out is that your children learn their behavior from YOU!!! That's a hard thing to take being a parent. You are the reason your kids are bad...that's heartbreaking. BUT, don't worry, we can fix it!!! If you are consistant and fair and obey your own rules, you can turn things around.
Obeying your own rules is tough though. We are the adults, right? We should be able to do things we want without worrying about pleasing our kids, right? WRONG!! They see everything! When you think they aren't paying attention ~ they are. And just one little "slip-up" from you can tear down what it took weeks, months, even years to build!
I'll be telling you more as I go, but let's just start with this. Might seem like common sense to most...but hey, not all of us are perfect and there is NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT PARENT! So, let's help eachother out....
What do you think? Does this make sense to you or do you have another way of looking at it?? I'm looking forward to all your responses!!! Maybe I can take a lesson or two to class next week! Have a great day!
8 people like this
30 responses
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
I think this is a great idea, the parenting class I mean. You will be able to learn sooo much from it. Everything you've said makes perfect sense to me, the kids see everything we do, I agree. Actually I think everyone should have to take a parenting class BEFORE they have children, whether they want to or not. We would end up much better people for it in my opinion. Please keep sharing what you learn. Great post!!!
5 people like this
@lilttownmommie (1473)
• United States
24 Jan 07
This is a scary thought about their little eyes watching everything we do, but on some sense I think we al know this already, but a gentle reminder is always nice. I would say I am a little of all of the above listed, I feel that at different types different parenting approaches are necesary. Although my husband is a my way or the highway all the time, he never uses any other methods of parenting, and my mother was the same, even though I came out just fine I feel that this is not the most effective approach. I feel that the "ok" parenting method is not always effective either. Sometimes that tends to be too lenient of a method and the child feels as if they are the adult. So I feel that the best approach is to use all methods in appropriate manner.
3 people like this
@altair_dip (807)
• India
24 Jan 07
thats a very nice topic.. and it very true that kids learn from parents...my son is 3 months old and he already imitates our expressions... I would like to know more about parenting.. please do post more on the topic
@sybertronankesh (42)
• India
24 Jan 07
I think you are right because children learn most of the things from there parents. They want to copy them in each and every way. Yes, No one is perfect in this world but we can practice to become perfect. So we have to behave properly in front of children because they learn most of thing by observing in childhood.
@ronita34 (3922)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing this with us!!! Unfortunately for me there isn't a parenting course near me right now. This is beneficial and it makes perfect sense to me. Our kids do tend to monitor us probably closer than we monitor them at times. I would also have to agree that i am made up of all 5 of the kind of parents!! I try to be firm and i love to cuddle and i even occasionally OK them ... LOL! I would definately be interested in hearing more about your classes and i will be looking forward to your next post!!! God Bless!!
@sylvrrain (659)
• United States
24 Jan 07
There were no parenting classes being taught in my area when my children were born. I had to learn everything the hard way. (like most parents do) I never spanked my children, I never had to.
I do agree that children learn their behaviors from the parents, and parenting is one of the hardest job there is.
I have learned that if you show respect to your children and deal with them honestly, they will turn out OK.
I have learned that the louder you are, the less children can hear you.
I also know that rewarding good behavior with love and attention works better than money.
The more time you spend with your child and the more you teach your child, the more satisfaction you have in your child when they grow up. And they will grow up, much, much too fast.
2 people like this
@rainbow (6761)
•
3 Feb 07
I am a just get through the day with as little fuss as possible parent, as long as things that are improtanyt are done I don't really mind being late or not getting everything done, there's always tomorrow.
I did parenting classes last year as I had convinced myself I was no good at it but realised I'm a lot better than I thought as I do most of the stuff we were told without thinking about it.
My hardest bit is saying no for the kids but allowing it for myself later when I think they cannot see e.g treats.
1 person likes this
@hariharbhat (1312)
• India
24 Jan 07
People think,in general that the art of parenting comes on it's own.But it is not true. It comes to those who conciously think about it and the class helps to build up this conciousness.
It is good that you are taking classes by choice. The decision of attending the class is very much appreciative and I wish you all the best for your future life.
@volcanoman (145)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I totally agree. But what do you do if the other parent is constantly showing bad habits to the children even though you have made them aware of it several times and attempted to show them just how much of that the children are picking up?
1 person likes this
@Stephanie5 (2946)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Well, if it's when they have visitations, I don't have the answer, I have the very same problem.
If you two live together, then it has to STOP!! You have to do things together as a united front or it will not work! One thing they have taught us is to make FAMILY RULES....they are for EVERYONE in the house, not just the kids.
Maybe drag them to a parenting class or have someone else bring it to their attention. Something has to give or you are going to have your hands very, very full!
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Parenting class is a wonderful idea, I have always wanted to attend one but their schedules and mine never seem to get along. I think from what you have described here I also fall into all of those catagories as a parent. I know that one of these classes would be good for me to learn how to deal with my teenager. I never really thought of it until you said something about their little eyes being on us at all times. This is true when I think about though as it seems that my little ones are always watching. Looking forward to the next class update.
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
25 Jan 07
I am a hug and cuddle and an OK parent. I try to ask her when we do things or ask her if she wants to help and definetly like the hugs and kisses. When it comes to punishment, I ama time out person. I use my own lifes experiences to raise her and set rules and I would hope that I live by the rules that I sent for her.
1 person likes this
@sweets9900 (726)
• United States
3 Feb 07
I never really thought about it that way. I think it's great that you are taking parenting classes. I really would like to take them also.
1 person likes this
@skippy8 (2)
• Ireland
24 Jan 07
I have to work long hours so the time i do get to spend with my kids is very precious, they understand that i have to work to pay bills etc... and we have a very good relationship. They are 17 10 but because i`m away from them and not a full time mum makes me feel guilty but it doesn`t make me a bad parent
1 person likes this
@MissRissa74 (472)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I agree that children do learn a lot of things from their parents, however, now that my eldest is in school, she brings a lot of bad habits home with her. In turn, she teaches those bad habits to my other children. I know it's difficult, but that's the way it is.
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I think my parenting style is a combination of many of those styles. I have certain rules that I will absolutely not allow to be bent or broken. I'm also an affectionate parent giving hugs and kisses often. I not one to use the "OK" method.
In my opinion consistency is the key. Not every minute of every day can be planned, but certain events occurring at the same time each day help children to feel stable. Having breakfast, lunch and dinner on a schedule is a great place to start, since many children get very fussy when they're hungry. A set bed time is also important. Schedules help kids feel secure and lessen the acting out that happens when they feel things are out of sync.
@runsgame (2031)
• India
24 Jan 07
great job u are doing . my heartiest congratulations to u for success in your parenting attempt. it is a good thing to be taught in this current level of economy/status of country. please share your experience with us often . once again congratulations to you .
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
24 Jan 07
I love this topic, Stephanie :) I LIKE being made to look at myself as a parent, kind of a self-evaluation of where I'm at and how I'M doing, just as much as how my kids are doing.
I read the "what kind of parent are you" list and I have to say I'm a combination of several. I'm not the "OK" parent, for sure. If we are going somewhere or something needs doing, there is no "OK?" on the end of my sentences LOL I tend to speak in verbs, not question marks. I know I can be hard sometimes and very much a "my way or the highway" parent, if the situation is such that I feel one of my kids is in actual danger if they make the wrong decision. I can relate to the "one day you'll thank me" one because there are times I have to make some very unpopular choices -- but I stick to them. There are LOADS of hugs in our house. We're a very touchy feely group LOL But I cuddle -- I don't coddle. I think there is a HUGE difference.
Parenting IS the toughest job out there... and it doesn't even require a license! Go figure LOL I see myself in my daughters when they are disappointed at getting an 85% in school instead of a 90%. I'm not proud of being a perfectionist but I am... I put SO much pressure on myself ALL the time. I'm trying really hard not to do the same to my kids but, as you've said, they learn from watching us - not even because of something we've said. We lead by example. So, if I hold myself to certain standards, it's really logical that they are going to start doing the same. But I'm aware of it and I work on it. I think it's all we can do.
I'll look forward to these discussions as you follow your classes! :)
1 person likes this
@ruchiteen (135)
• India
24 Jan 07
i think every parent sholud attend his kind of classes then only we can understand our children mentality... n we can give great care after that.....
1 person likes this
@lamecrusher (66)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Its very nice of you to start a discussion to help out other people but unfortunately i am not parent to any kids or not gonna be a one in the distance future but thanks anyway !
@Kaldonya (277)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Great topic!! That is so interesting to me that you would voluntarily take parenting classes. My view of that has always been warped because when I was on WIC, we were MADE to take parenting classes - as they called them - and they were a joke. They were 15 minutes of the most BASIC, and all the ladies just sort of sat there. Complete waste of time. So everytime I heard of a parenting class, that's what I thought of. But how you describe it...makes me think "wow. I need some of that." Funny how so many people have kids and think that there is nothing to raising them....
1 person likes this
