15 and heart broken
By pudgles
@pudgles (414)
United States
January 31, 2007 12:05pm CST
My 15 year old daughter has always jumped from one boy to another, but nothing happened in any sense other than kisses (I know this for a fact). She met this one boy who she stayed with for 6 months, the longest of her usually 1 day to 1 week, and he broke her heart. She tries to date others, but her heart is still with this one boy.
I try to convince her that she is young, that Mr. Right will come along, but she feels he was Mr. Right. Do you think that this boy was a teenage crush or the real thing? How do I help her get over him? She cries alot for him and they broke up before the holidays.
10 people like this
77 responses
@kareng (61763)
• United States
31 Jan 07
As a mother who has raised 3 teenage daughters, my advice to you is to get used to this. She is 15, and this won't be the last heartbreak. They take it hard and some are worse than others.
I introduced my twin girls to writing poetry. It helped get the feelings off thier chest, and gave them something to do instead of just feeling sorry for themselves. They both have a journal that is packed with poems, mostly about lost love! She may even discover a hidden talent!
Good luck, this seems to be a hard phase for young girls!
2 people like this
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
Your daughter is just too young to say that. Though some find it real love or true love but most often mistaken it with just infatuation. It's better that they broke up 'coz her feelings for him might go to anything because she's too inlove. But how about the guy? Is he also that serious? Tell her that if they are really for each other then it would come. But today she is still young and she needs to grow up first to know if her feelings is really genuine.
1 person likes this
@pudgles (414)
• United States
1 Feb 07
they broke up for he wanted to go farther in the relationship and my daughter wants to wait until she is married........she made the right decission and yet it hurts her for they had a special bond even without going to extremes, i respect her for that and is proud of her...
1 person likes this
@cowboys33 (421)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
i agree shes to young and she is problly a s l u t because she is dating guys at 15.
1 person likes this
@hitzphillygirl (1235)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I'm eighteen years old, going through the same thing, and my mother tells me the same things you're telling your daughter. It's hard forgetting your first love, as you probably know. She'll get over it and due time. Offer to take her to do something that will make her happy, like a local concert or a little shopping trip.
1 person likes this
@ljcapps (1925)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I think at that age you can love. Maybe not the mature committed love of an adult, but the next closest thing to it. She's going to be hurt awhile, but just give her time. Someone decent will come along and make her feel better. I'd just advise her to not get too serious at her age, there's a whole lifetime of people out there just waiting to meet her.
1 person likes this
@cowboys33 (421)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
tell your daughter to grow up and stop being a s l u t
1 person likes this
@Bizziebod (3497)
•
31 Jan 07
Hi pudgles, My daughter has been through this aswell (she's now 17) I do think it is just a crush your daughter has, it will seem very real to her but I really don't think you can really know what proper love feels like at this age. My daughter eventually got over it and now has a boyfriend she has been seeing for over a year! Just give her as much love and guidance as you can, she will thank you for being supportive in the end! Good luck!
1 person likes this
@innechen (1318)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 07
well from what i see i think this is the pay of what she has done with the other boys before, she should learn a lesson for not playing with someone else's heart.now she finally feel how a broken heart hurt.this is only a teenage crush, she'll get over it when she found someone else better then him.but you should tell her not to plays with people's feeling anymore otherwise that could happens to her again.
@pudgles (414)
• United States
1 Feb 07
all the other boys she dated were friends first and they asked her,,they knew how she felt about this one boy, and they were trying to help her heal...they are all still just good friends...she didn't hurt any of them as they didn't hurt her..it was all talked out, which i thought was mature.
@philipwu51 (684)
• China
1 Feb 07
actually I cant help you, because I dont have such experice.
what I want to know is how could you so sure that they are only kissing each other? I think this is a big problem for all parents that young people begin to date each other when they are very young, ant its hard for parents to contral their action while dating.
in my country, teenager like 15 years old is generally not allowed to date by their parents ot school teachers, but it seems they would date anyway.
have a good day.
@pudgles (414)
• United States
1 Feb 07
i am sure that is all they were doing, for he wanted more and she didn't so he broke up with her, saying she is immature for him. i don't usually let them date til they are 16, and all they do is go to school dances or hang around the house and play video games, etc. so she is mostly always in my site...have a good day.
@Sir_bobby88 (8231)
• Singapore
1 Feb 07
Well Sometimes you just can't trust what people say yea ... maybe you can't accept the fact that your daughter might have more than just kisses , i can't find any reasons why she is changing boyfriend without having more than kiss ... maybe she had really bad exprience ... i think you better spent more time on her
@pudgles (414)
• United States
1 Feb 07
sorry dear, but proof from the doctor and her wanting to wait til she is married is proof enough for me not to mention her word. alot of these guys were friends to start and tried to comfort her by asking her out, they know where her heart is and they are true friends for they are still there for her...i spend as much time as i can with her and all my other children, she is the baby of them all so i am more concerned about her for i hate seeing her hurt at an early age...i went with their dad at 14, and was with him for 17yrs until he was killed. so that is why i was wondering if this boy was the right one, but where he wanted more and she said no, he dumped her. who was in the wrong?
@nkarthick (1273)
• India
1 Feb 07
i already told about this in my other replies to other topics. here your were not strict to your daughter thats why she behave like this. you people( i mean parents) should have to grow your child carefully and teach good thoghts
@farkid (84)
• Nigeria
1 Feb 07
You souldn't let your daugther out on a date at 15. She is young and the right man can't come along for such a teenage girl that age. Let her concentrate on more important things like school. She could go to college and get many heart breaks but we all have breaky hearts that can one day be mended.
By the way tell your daughther I am 22 and really need a soull mate. You could hook me up.
@shiv9818011966 (208)
• India
1 Feb 07
u r not a good father about this matter because this time of yr daughter is reading & make settled life not for love.
@pudgles (414)
• United States
1 Feb 07
i am not her father, but her mother, her father was killed when she was real young. she has no father in her life and i am there for her all the way. i tell her to move on, if it was meant to be, he'll be back, but i also tell her she is too young at this stage. maybe she is looking for what she never had with her dad....but i give her all my support and comfort...i am a very good mom....ask any of their friends, etc...
@nrmrreddi (356)
• Germany
31 Jan 07
I hope this 15 years old is just the kids still to find a real love or exactly understand what love is about. At 15 having a boyfriends and breaking the relationship and crying for him is just an attraction in todays teenagers. I feel it the same with this girl.
@shawn2008 (296)
• United States
1 Feb 07
im 17 myself and i know for a fact that more went on here then you know about. nothing like that most likely but a first real love. i dont know if you knew the whole situation either since kids tend to grow up earlier nowdays and feel independant. maybe she didnt share with you all her feelings that she epressed to this boy who obviously couldnt deal with those feelings. maybe your daughter was more mature then him and he was still just thinking like a kid...and she wasnt
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 07
Sometime we don't know what our children thinking, because the way they think is different from us. And so do the way they look for something. For teenager like your daughter i think it just normal to have feeling like that, because that boy will become a measure for her to wait the real Mr.Right as you mention. So until Mr.Right really come to her life, that boy will be the close match for Mr.Right for your daughter.
@payingforschool (678)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
Sounds like a crush to me - but I wouldnt say 'just' a crush ... because they can be devastating. Especially at 15. It will jsut take time. It may be too soon for her to date anyone else, really. She cared deeply for him and needs to get over that before she can care for someone else. Giving her space to cry, understanding if she doesn't want to date for a while, and just telling her you understand, and you are there for her, will help. My mom always said 'this, too, shall pass'. Good luck.
@ScrappinHappyMom (914)
• United States
31 Jan 07
Everyone remembers their first true love if it was at 15 or 19. The problem is because she is so young she hasn't developed the coping skills to deal with it yet. I would say if it continues much longer you might want to consider talking to her doctor or seeking some type of conciling for her. Depression can be a slippery slope.
@CarlyLaine (759)
• United States
1 Feb 07
This is part of growing up. I was crushed with every one i dated. Mother's need to butt out and let the kid learn on their own. Mommies need to let the kid grow up. This is life.
No need to run to a doctor at every issue.
@brihanna (381)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Ahhh, the trials of teens. I would suggest you empathize with her. Let her know that you know how much it hurts. Let her cry and cry with her. You never really get over your first true love. And it will take the heart a long time to heal. Just think 6 months to a teen is like 6 years to an adult. Alot of growing and changing and living happens, especially at that age.
Encourage her to spend time with family and friends, eventually the hurt will lessen, but it is important, for her to be sad.
@rlshaw (871)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I think that it's just a teenage crush.. I can remember being that age and feeling like my whole world feel apart when something like that happened.. I keep telling my daughter she doesn't need a boyfriend right now.. They cause nothing but problems and she will be going away to college in a few years.. I'm so sorry for your daughter .. its a hard thing.. I wish her luck .
@omgsmellthis (27)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I think all that you can do is support her & be there for her to cry to. She'll work it out in her own time and in her own ways.
I remember being the same, and you hang onto the idea for as long as possible. But something comes along to distract that feeling and it all changes. Ahhh, the joys of being young
