A Little Too Revealing?
By Leca
@lecanis (16647)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
January 31, 2007 7:46pm CST
Not your clothes, your posts.
I realize I've started several topics today, so bear with me. But I tend to think about things a lot when I don't feel well. One of them is this:
I tend to be pretty open about my life and the events therein. The result is that people often think I'm intentionally being a downer , or that I'm always depressed, or that I don't have anything to be happy about. None of these things are true. It's simply that if other people are talking about a specific aspect of their lives, I don't feel I should have to not join in just because my experience hasn't been the same as theirs.
How much do you share about yourself, on mylot, or any other website, or offline? Do most people who know you have a pretty good idea about your history? As there things about yourself that you keep secret, and if so, for what reasons?
I think the main reasons that I talk about my (rather difficult) history are because it helps me work through things, and I remember that there were other people that helped me by talking about themselves. If there are people out there who are suffering because of events similar to the ones in my life that have no one to talk to, I want to be that person. And how can I be if I don't tell them?
Of course sometimes the fact is that I simply don't think about what I'm saying. Something that seems totally normal to me (choosing to like or dislike specific foods because I didn't have them to eat or had to eat them spoiled as a child), very much upset others. And when I think about it, I realize that I seem melodramatic when really I'm just being honest.
Anyone out there feel this way?
5 people like this
22 responses
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Lecanis, I completely understand what you are saying.
People know me as an extremely happy person who is always smiling - and I am. However, it has occurred to me that here on myLot I do talk quite a bit about my years of abuse. That is because the events of my life tie in with many of the discussions, either in similarity or contrast.
It would appear you have the same experience. We want to help others who have been through bad experiences. If we appear to be melodramatic, so be it, but if we help some, who cares what others think?
I came to terms with my years of being abused many years ago and I am now thankful for everything that happened to me.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I agree and you said it so much quicker than I did LOL...and ya knwo its funny because ppl are generally shocked when I say something similar to "I'm thankful for all I've been through" because they seem to think that means I enjoyed my abuse, I enjoyed being raped etc which is just ludacris! They cant understand that I am thankful and dont regret BECAUSE those tragedies are key to how i became the woman I am.....
1 person likes this
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Exactly! And because of that, we are able to help others. I certainly didn't enjoy anything at the time, but I wouldn't exchange one bit of it now.
1 person likes this
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I know exactly what you mean. There are times I wonder if I'm sharing too much about my life. I think about how others might view me because of it but then I think about how others might need to see that. To know what I went through and know they aren't alone. Maybe to gain some insight from what happened to me and perhaps that might help them. I don't know if it will or not but I can hope that some good can come out of some of the things that have happened. Being honest is always good and all we can do is go by what we know, what we've experiences and if we write from that then that is what is important.
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
Well said. As another who shares, hoping to help, just as long as someone is helped, I don't mind if others dislike it. This is a free forum and they are not forced to read.
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
1 Feb 07
yes i do think that sometimes i reveal my life a little bit too much to other people... some people might like it and some people don't... i just learn not to do it too often anymore because some people can use my story as a weapon to go against me... so i had reduced it a lot compare in the past... i don't easily tell my life story to anybody anymore... especially very private one... i prefer to keep it to myself...
1 person likes this
@cillerman (403)
• Bulgaria
1 Feb 07
I think it depends very much on the other person, if he asked me for "my history". In the moment, my girlfriend knows almost all about me. But she is like that, curious. That's always the result when you share too much. I do not talk about myself if I'm not asked to and even then I don't always consider. Privacy is a very good thing. Not secrets. Privacy.
It's good that you express your self (and your feelings), no matter what. Just keep doing this. It doesn't matter what everybody's reaction is. But one thing I think is important - have private part of your life and don't let go of it. When you are willing to share this part... you have found a loved one. ;)
1 person likes this
@vbcoder (196)
• Philippines
1 Feb 07
Now that I have read this discussion, I too realized that I created a topic a little too revealing about myself and my personal life. Your topic is an eye-opener for me. I think I will try to be more choosy and careful when creating new discussions. Thanks for creating this discussion.
1 person likes this
@rx4life (1930)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I feel that everyone has their comfort zone when it comes to sharing..whether it be your cookies, your windfall or your experiences....I believe that sharing the good and the bad can be helpful..everyone comes to this place from a different background and that results in different experiences and opinions...sharing these can be liberating for oneself or an epiphany for someone else...we put ourselves out there with a measure of trust and hope that we help another poor soul avoid the potholes we have endured...or we set ourselves free of some long term ball and chain by simply sharing experiences or emotions or information..the recipient of that chunk of stuff can choose to read it and laugh, read it and cry..read it and feel a kinship to it, read it and avoid a mishap in the future, read it and walk away thinking...whew...so glad that's not me...we have no power over what they do with it..only over what we decide to share and for what reasons we decide that...Help comes in many forms..sometimes we make a monumental change in someone's self view with a little statement..sometimes we couldn't get through their walls with dynamite... ...Post what you are comfortable with...and we'll read what we're comfortable with...it's all good...when it's done from a position of goodness. Peace...
@clownfish (3269)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Hi! I guess I share things about myself that I think will help another person - like similar experiences or I do share more with the other parents of autistic kids on Mylot. I like to maintain some privacy because this is the Internet and you never know who is watching and reading what we write. I try to never type anything I will regret. I have in the past, I'm sure, but I'm trying to learn not to. :-)
Just in general, I think there are conversations that go waaayyyy too far. I think there are certain things that don't need to be shared or asked in forums like these. Just my opinion, though! :-)
@emisle (3822)
• Ireland
2 Feb 07
I've never started a revealing topic about myself, but I have given a few replies based on situations that I have found myself in so that I can help others.
I've always been good at dealing with my own problems myself, I'm an optimistic, positive person in general so it helps greatly.
If posting personal topics help, than go for it..:)
@krislouiebaby (2346)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
there is nothing wrong with being honest here.
i think people would understand.
we can tell everything here without hesitation because we know that they will never track us down and know us.
@mariedaryl (33)
• Philippines
2 Feb 07
yeah, i feel that way too. Don't worry, I think, one of the purpose of this website is for us to be able to express ourself. so, it doesn't matter if you're getting too revealing, if that's your style.
@michaelkaer (254)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
My rule of thumb is to not reveal anything that could harm another person. I have shared things like the fact that I was a male stripper when I was young. That may be revealing, but it can't hurt me or anyone I am invovled with. My girlfriend knows I used to be a "Dancer" in my past. I guess I am an honest, upfront kind of guy.
@eliza_bennet (133)
• South Africa
1 Feb 07
I have read many posts where people reveal alot about themselves and i personally feel its too much . Perhaps i'm not that open and i don't have the ability to say that much about myself and make my life an open book for strangers to read. I try mainly to stay away from emotional discussions because they bring out feelings that you express which reveal alot about you. Theres only very few people who know more about me and i like to keep my personal life off online sites.
1 person likes this
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I know what you are trying to say. Sometimes when you have something on your mind, you just talk about it and vent and it may come out as being depressed or upset with life. I have done the same thing many times.
I share a lot of myself on here...more on my blog. I feel that these places are here to talk and share and complain and whine and cry and get other thoughts and opinions on a subject.
1 person likes this
@shawn2008 (296)
• United States
1 Feb 07
i think that this seems like an ok site to share stuff like that because the poeple here are so so helpful. i try to be helpful to^^
1 person likes this
@sillygirlsd (959)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Sometimes the reason that I'm too revealing is because none of you know me. So none of you can really judge me and make me feel bad with your comments. It doesn't bother me if anyone says too much.....but it does bother me when people make up some wild, revealing story that sounds fake. Sometimes things that people talk about should be on Jerry Springer.
@vampirestonez (1181)
• Pakistan
1 Feb 07
Well I do reveal some things of my life and those can be found in the discussions that I have started, some may be there for simple reason of curiosity but others are real and reveal a lot about my personality. The simple reason is because it much easier to let it out to strangers rather than to some people that are close by, but ofcourse I do select what I put on the internet. Sometimes you meet strangers in life and they turn out to become your best friends for life and those that are called your friends mostly leave you when you need them the most, so I don't mind revealing a bit of my personality or my incidents on the internet.
@ihsanul_aniq (1118)
• Malaysia
1 Feb 07
Too much for me to understand exactly people want me to be. I will understand it with my own way, and so do other person. If i can just accept thing come to me, why others cannot. I simply put it in this way, there are kind of birocracy. It's not fair to me. Then what should we do, actually nothing we can do since here is public place where people come and people go. Maybe by chance they will notice our discussion topic and just left whatsoever. Is it normal? i don't know either
@fabwisp (1327)
•
1 Feb 07
Your honesty is very touching. I'll be honest and say that i have not come across you before on here but I am still relatively new. My theory on it is the same as yours really. I have had my problems and dont really share much with others, but on here it is different. No one knows who I am so if I can help others by telling of my experiences then I can only see this as a good thing. If it comes across as melodramatic to 100 people but helps 1 person then it was worth sharing in my opinion.
@freezingfev (815)
•
1 Feb 07
its kk ...to talk abt ur past..!! i do it too sometymz...but only wid ma best friendz..!! im careful not to tell any1 i just met ..too much abt maself!!
its always nice to talk about your past experiences n stuff....but beware..only good friends can handle listening to u..n being patient....!! your new frendz or just-one-of-my-friends type might not take it too nicely and will label u as boring...or too-full-of-her-self!!
@jennybeans (912)
• United States
1 Feb 07
A lot of times I keep the details of my personal hardships to myself. I will often use my experiences to write uplifting and positive articles withought digging into the details. Sometimes it helps a great deal to be able to talk about the things you went through. It's part of the healing process.
