Routines for Children...

You aren't being too strict and you really shouldn't speak with that woman again. Her child wil have problems in school and in relationships because she will have no discipline. The mother obviously has no discipline as she felt to free in trying to make you doubt yourself. Keep doing what you are doing. I work with emotionally disturbed kids alot, in fact I just came home from a classroom, and all those things this woman says are too strct prepare the child for the getting along in a world with schedules.

I think a combination is good. i mean it is ok to have routines and to be strict as long as there is also time for fun and also opertunity to be flexible if it´s needed. U say that Maddison is a happy little girl, and as long as she is that you should not be worried about it . Routines is something we all could need - as long as it´s not toooo much!

well, that was pretty rude of the other mother. although i never really has a set routine for my kids when they were little, it was some what implied. they would nap at certian times and eat normally when i ate. people just complained that my kids stayed up too late. right now they're 3 & 4 and their bed time is 10p. its this late because they want to stay up until daddy comes home. if he comes home later, they try to stay up but normally fall asleep. i know my nephew has more of a stict routine for bedtime. and he has some what of one when i take care of them here. pretty much its lunch at 12 and then naptime at 1. i don't think she'll hate you for setting a routine. don't let it bother you too much.

no she will not hate you! some babys need a routine and some babys don't! i think her baby realy needs routine! i have a little routine but not too much, both of my girls don't need it! and the routine is for being a baby and maybe a toddler and after that you can try other things, not the strict routine she has now! i think you're doing it the right way!

my son is 10 months old and is not on a routine. He's a happy baby always smiling and laughing. I think a mother has to decide what is best for there baby, but that "other mother" should not say anything about the way you take care of your baby because it is none of her concern. I find it kinda funny because my son has also aquired the name "pork chop" He weighs 30 pounds

I think kids need routines. they seem to work better with it and they can prdict what is next and that's comferting to them. my daughter was on a routine as soon as she got home from the hospital and i didn't hear that baby cry once. the first time she cried and whinned she was 2. so i'm assuming she was happy with her schedules.

I don't see a problem with either way of doing things. We don't have routines here. My youngest will be 1 on April 1 and she has no bed time, no meal times and no set nap times. She just falls asleep when she is tired. I don't shove a bottle in her mouth every time she cries but I do know if she is crying at certain times she is hungry (usually every 4 hours). She gets baby food when I feel like giving it to her and if I make something for dinner that she can eat she will have some (if she didn't fall asleep already). I have no real schedules for my older kids either. We get up at 7 because my daughter has to get ready for school. After she leaves at 8 I feed the other 2 and then we just do whatever. Lunch is around noon, dinner usually between 5-7pm depending on what I am making and when I started it. They take naps when they are tired and bedtime is at 7pm. Otherwise we don't schedule anything else. They get 1 bath a week when it isn't freezing in the house (we have limited hot water and our thermostat is only at 60 degress--it is veeerrry cold in here). My kids are generally happy--especially the baby. She is the smiliest little thing. It is all about what works for each family and no schedules works for us. I hate schedules. I hate having a piece of paper tell me I have to do such and such at a certain time because I might not want to do it then. That is just me. I could never keep my kids on any strict schedule. It would make me so depressed I would just lay in bed all day.

that's great ur daughter is really nice my daughter follow for sometime and then it gets skipped nice. don't bother what are saying ur daughter's comfort should be more important to you and all the things have to work in harmonised ways for u a routine helps u keep up the tiem and other to pitch in if they knew its rountine. it will become a habit for her when she grows up probably willl be much more organised. if you can give me some tups i to will try to do it for my daughter

How can she hate you for it? I mean, she's a baby, she probably likes knowing what's happening next, it probably makes her feel more secure. I know some moms whose babies have fairly rigid schedules, and I know other moms who barely keep a schedule at all. None of the babies seem particularly unhappy or grumpy, although I do think it's easier to have a schedule. The baby who doesn't have a schedule is still sweet and fun, although her parents don't just shove a bottle in her face when she cries, they try to feed her or play with her and figure out why she's crying.

I think you are doing fine. Some parents can swing no schedule. We had a schedule--it wasn't the strictest schedule but we had one. Meal times were always the same time and so were bedtimes. But as your child gets older they DO need a schedule. My son had to adjust to a new schedule when he went to kindergarten and that was hard for him. His bed time moved back an hour, he had to get up earlier, his breakfast time changed and so on. I wish I would have thought to get him ready for this change 6 months ahead of time. So no, I don't think you are too strict. It works for you. But don't ever be afraid to change from it if you have too. My cousin doesn't. If she is out at a family party, they drive to vehicles so the husband can leave with the one year old at 7 pm to have him in bed at 8. She won't change. It isn't like we have family gatherings all the time but she still won't let him stay :(

I think children do need some kind of routine to help them. My first daughter I put into a routine and she was fine and settled into it well. My second daughter didn't and I had to go by what she wanted and she made up her own routine that she liked and we worked round it. As she got older my eldest daughter liked to read the same book over and over and got upset if we did something different to normal in the day. I think some kids need routine more than others, but some sort of routine however small is good for all of them.

I don't think you're being too strict. Some children thrive on a schedule and some don't. There are many ways to parent a child, and you've chosen yours. Don't let others bring you down if what you're doing is working. There's way too many people out there that are going to tell you their way is better. Be confident in what you're doing and keep that baby happy!

I don't think so. My baby is 9 months old and he has been on a routine ever since we got through his first month. Other people think he is a happy baby. I think it's mainly because he knows I know when he gets hungry or when he needs his diaper changed. I had an experience with another mother who laughed at me because because my baby had a scheduled feeding time. I felt bad for awhile then I realized, I'm his mom, I'm the olny person who knows what is best for him. No other mother can take that away from me because it's me who he's with all the time. Since then, I've learned to ignore what other people think about how I do things with my baby. I've also learned that I can't act like I know what is best for other babies, because I'm not their mom. All I know is that my baby is not fuzzy or whinny because he knows mom will be there and knows whatever is bothering him.

I think what you are doing is perfect. Whether or not a baby should be on a schedule depends on the baby and on the parents. Some babies are happier when they know what to expect... others don't care. Same with the parents. I personally need a routine, luckily so does my son. So it works out. If you are happy and your baby is happy then you are doing the right thing. Good Luck! Sounds like you are doing a great job. Ashley

I think a schedule is fine as long as you don't make it so inflexible that you can never deviate from it in any way. Leave room for your daughter to stay up a few minutes longer if an unexpected guest arrives to see her, or maybe put bathtime off for a bit if Grandpa wants to rock her for a while. The lack of a schedule may or may not be responsible for the grumpiness of the little girl next door. Some children are just more difficult than others.

The different personalities in these children is just a testament to your parenting. Scheduled lives and strict lives are two totally different things. Children need to know what to expect from day to day. It gives them more confidence and lessens anxiety (yes even kids get anxious) As a parent educator, I see many children who seem to have behavior problems when in reality they simply need more structure in their life. If a parent is only supervising a child, leaving the child to rely on pure human nature to get fed, cleaned, entertained, loved - they will do just that. Your child will never hate you! She will know that you loved her so much that you planned out every day around HER needs. It's possible this mom is just sour grapes!!!