Are You The Favorite Child of Your Parents?
By cdparazo
@cdparazo (5765)
Philippines
February 13, 2007 10:47am CST
I grew up thinking that i am the least favorite child of my parents. It made me think that my parents dont love me and that it wouldnt matter to them if Im around or not. I have always felt bad that my parents doesnt make follow-ups as to my whereabouts and seems to take my word that Im only doing legit things with my friends. they have always allowed me to go out compared to my younger sister. I didnt understand why they are so strict with my younger sister and seem to be so lax or lenient when it comes to me. I felt unloved and it hurt me thinking thaty way as i grew up.
But when I had children of my own, I begun to understand the reasons behind the way my parents treated me. I realized that as parents we tend to repsond based on the needs of our children. LIke for example, a family that has a special child. It would seem that all hte attention and love is being showered on that child compared ot ints other soblings. the world of the parents seems to revolve arund that child because the child requires special care and more attention. The could could be the case between my siter and me. It would seem that i was the more independent, competitive, adventurous, confident, decisinve and outgoing daughter. Until now i still get comments from my friends about my strong personality. At an early age i learned to be responsible for myself and took matters into my own hands with regards to my education and undertakings. I never waited for my parents to tell me what to do. By choice, I was already working at a very young age so that i could be independent even when i was stil in college. I now realized that my parents see me as responsible and trustworthy daughter. The same is also now happening between me and my daughters. I dont worry about my youngest daughter because she is such a fighter and have the same personality as me. But my eldest daughter appears to me as more vulnerable and seel to crave so much attention that most of my attention is always directed at her. She needs more emotional assurance and affirmation of being loved and accepted that i tend to check her whereabouts more compared to my youngest child. I dont love my youngest child any less just becuase I am more attentive to my eldest daughter. I love them both unconditionally and equally.
I realized that there is no such thing as a favorite child. As parents, we tend to respond based on what we percieve as needs of our children. The more needy they are, the more we give and the more independent they are, the more we also give space to let them be.
Do you agree with me that our parents doesnt have any favorite?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
I have 3 more siblings. When we were still kids, my sisters and brothers used to say that our father's favoritism is like being the favorite flavor of the month. I have been my father's favorite for some time but then a day came that I'm not anymore. It was my youngest sister's turn to be his favorite. But my father used to joke that of all his children, he knows that I'll be the one who will take care of him when he grows so old that he won't be able to take care of himself anymore.
We experienced his favoritism not by, showering us with gifts. No, he equally gave us what we needed. You could say that I was his favorite at that month, because he's more patient with me. My father used to be a scowly, hot-tempered man. And when he gets angry, we really feared him. That's the way he showed his favoritism. Through being more patient and understanding. And giving more chance to change our mistakes.
With my mom, she didn't favor any of us. She treated us equally.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
22 Aug 07
How do you feel if you are not the flavor of the month for your Dad? I just hope that your other siblings didn't feel so bad when they are not the flavor for the month and so did you. Parents have different ways of showing their love to their children. Maybe your Dad can't cope with all of you all at the same time so he has to concentrate or focus at one child at a time. Thanks for sharing!
@jcj_111776 (3216)
• Philippines
23 Aug 07
There were times that I felt jealous if I wasn't his "flavor of the month". But eventually that feeling passes away because I knew my time will come again. Among my siblings, they tend to feel a little healthy jealousy too. But it wasn't that a big deal for us. Because we all felt being favored by our father. So, it was a win-win situation for all of us.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
25 Aug 07
I am glad to know that you all came out okey with the situation. One thing sure though, that you Dad loves all of you. I kinda like being treated special even just for a while by ones parents...its like being a queen or king for a day or rather month. Thanks again for sharing and more power!
@asawanialvin0611 (1877)
• Philippines
1 May 08
I am always a favorite- favorite daughter, favorite student, favorite grandchild.I an an achiever, and it happened that my I was the only grand child that my granny took care of
1 person likes this
@Jemina (5770)
•
10 Jun 07
I had the same feeling with you, CD. I am the youngest in my family and the gap between me and my sister before me is seven years old. They were already in school when I came into this world. My older sisters always sent me to an errand. My parents were not always at home and I was trained to do stuff for myself at a young age. It seemed that I was not being given attention by my parents at all.
Now that we're grown, my older siblings call me, "the favorite" because I'm getting all the attention now.
Well, they got married so now I am the baby.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
YOur sisters had their time with your parents and I guess, now is your time to be the center of your parents attention. As a parent, i can fully understand that we have the tendency to focus our attention on our older children because they are more in need of our time and understanding. They are at a critical age wherein they have to be guided accordingly but it doesn't mean that we love them more. I know too that my younger daughter too will have her time with me.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
9 Jun 07
I got a younger sister and i don't think my parents have a "favorite" kid at all. They've always treated us as equals and i like it that way.
1 person likes this
@add_im (2712)
• Philippines
10 Jun 07
I really do believe before in life that parents have their own favorites when it comes to their children. But since I grew up and realized things much better about what parenthood is all about though I myself is not just yet a parent...but through observing other parents specially my own parents, I don't see any favoritism in them towards their children. They have giving us such an equal treatment and a love that is bountiful and yeah, but generally it's truly some other parents I've observed have this favoritism in one of their children and that makes me sad really because it's not really easy to be left alone in your family or not being love the same like your other siblings. I felt sympathy to those kind of children that has the experience about such matter and are being involved to this kind of parents child favoritism.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
I feel for them too and some parents do make mistakes human as they are. My mother felt too the she is the least favorite of her siblings since my grandparents didnt send her to college when she wanted to. Some parents may have their own reason that the children doesn't understand and that is why it is very improtant to explain to ones children why we decided or did such things. My mother never understood why and I think she hurt because of it.
@emilieespino (963)
• Philippines
8 Jun 07
I agree with you 100%. I come from a big family of 13 children and when we were young I also thought my parents had favorites. However, I remember during hard times my mom used to say that if God would tell her she can return one or two of us to Him, she would not know who to choose. This just meant that she loved all of us equally. We never realize this till we have children of our own.
@johndur (3052)
• Pasig, Philippines
15 May 08
being the only boy in the brood of three,i may say that im one of the favorite child in the family but for being the second child im not that favorable because i have a younger sister that is the apple of the eye of the family.but i still have some edge on my sisters because im the only boy and my father always favor me when there is an issue that involves me but im not a spoiled brat because i know my limitations....
