When You hate To Choose a Best Response
@sunnypub (2128)
United States
February 17, 2007 5:25pm CST
Have you ever had times when you actaully dreaded choosing the best response for a discussion you started. I try hard to read every response and see which one stands out as the best to me, but sometimes it is just too hard to decide. I want to choose one because I think that is a big part of MyLot but I hate to choose one just for that reason.
there have been 2 of my discussions that I was reluctant to give a best response for.
The first time, I only got a few responses and I just didn't think that any of them were actaully great so I really put off choosing the best response. I waited 3 weeks giving a lot of time for someone to come in and wow me with their response, but no one did, so I eventually picked the best of the worst, if you know what I mean.
The second time is right now. I have a discussion about a friend of mine who is brain dead and I received so many wonderful responses with hugs, prayers, support, and thoughts, that I am reluctant to choose a best response because every one of them has helped me deal with this tragedy. I know I will eventually pick one, but I don't want the others to feel that I didn't apppreciate thier advice and thoughts.
So how about you. How do you deal with choosing a best response, and have you ever found yourself in this position.
14 people like this
41 responses
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
18 Feb 07
To be honest, I have found it very difficult to chose a best response on my discussions. Sometimes it is almost impossible as so many wonderful people have contributed that it feels wrong to single out only one in particular. The support and understanding of the MyLotters is amazing, so yes it is hard to pick just one.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
18 Feb 07
You are so right. the support of mylotters is wonderful, especially with a personal discussion like the one I mention in this discussion. It is so heartwarming to know that I can come here and get some really good support and hugs from my fellow mylotter. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@nancyrowina (3850)
•
18 Feb 07
I'm new here and am dreading having to pick my first best responses as I've had some good ones. Though I've also posted discussion that haven't got any responses yet, so I'm not sweating over them :).
I'll wait a few more days before choosing to let more people respond.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
18 Feb 07
I think it is best to wait for a while before choosing the best response. It sometimes could take a while to get a response but I have found that once I get one, more seem to follow, so i will usually wait for another few days after getting one response before choosing the best response. thanks for responding.
2 people like this
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I know how you feel. I have several discussions that I recieved many good responses on and I am having a hard time picking just one. I wish we could give out more. So I probably won't pick anyone. I just give everyone a postive rating for their good answer and maybe someday I will be able to pick. I really don't like the idea of picking one in the first place. I value everyones opinion. I have seen several people give out best responses to people on their friends list and that isn't fair. I try not to do that unless it comes down to just a few responses that stood out, then I will sometimes choose one of my friends.
2 people like this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I agree with you. I don't even look at the name of ther perosn who responded. I just read the responses and see which one moves me in one way or another. I will not give a best response to someone just becaus they are on my firends list, and I will not give it to someone just because they are the only one who responded.
I hate it when people just give it to the first person who responds too. It does help raise the earnings of the one you give it to, so I take it very seriously. I will not play favorites. I choose the one that best fits the type of answer I was looking for.
I do rate everyone who responds and I think that is just as important. I have even reported quite a few people who were breaking the rules of Mylot.
I am all for total participation and choosing a best response is part of that so I will do, but I hate these times when i am not sure who I want to pick. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@ukchriss (2097)
•
18 Feb 07
There are a lot of Mylotters on here that give quality responses on the posts which they respond to.
Which is great but like you said it can be hard to decide who to give best response to?
I have about 6/8 people on my friends list who always reply and give very good comments, so unless I see that there is someone new with a reply that deserves best response one of those people usually earns it, but I do try not to give it out to the same person all the time.
Also I will leave my discussions open for at least a week sometimes longer if i haven't had many replies to give people a chance to answer it.
2 people like this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I swear I already commented on this, but maybe I am just going crazy. I don't mind giving the best response to the same person as long as they earn it. Some people just seem to far outshine most others especially for discussion where I don't get very many responses. I too have about 6/8 people on my friends list who consistently give terrific responses so I am always thrilled to see them respond to one of my discussions. Thanks for responding.
@mzbubblie (3839)
• United States
17 Feb 07
My this is a toughy, I've had that happen to me a couple times and I had no clue who to choose. Normally, If I can't choose, I always like to let the person know who I didn't choose to continue to post on my topics if there is something they are interested in. There are alot of Mylotters on here that give quality responses on most of everything they respond to or post on...If they are known for posting on my topics, I will send a little note... :)
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
17 Feb 07
I know this is a little silly because I do not take offense if I am not chosen as best response, even though i feel every one of my responses is a best response LOL, but I know that there are many people here who might take offense.
I like the idea of it, especially now that they have a little notice at the beginning of the discussion saying who was chosen. I think that if someone comes across a discussion and maybe had the same problem but they don't really want to read through all the responses, they can just go to the one who was rated best and read that.
I know there are many people who don't really rate or choose the best response neutrally but that is part of life I guess. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
18 Feb 07
I've had a couple situations where I had a hard time choosing a best response as well. One was because I received exactly one response, which wasn't a very nice one. In that case, I still haven't marked it best response, and it might have to stay unresolved forever unless someone else responds to it.
My other one was just about a very personal issue, and I had a few very kind and supportive responses. It is hardest to choose in this type of situation I think, when it's something very personal and the responses are very personal in nature.
I think in your case no one will feel badly for not being chosen "best response". Obviously it is a very personal discussion, and I'm sure people will appreciate that. So I'd think you shouldn't worry about it so much. =)
2 people like this
@weemam (13372)
•
23 Feb 07
Have been the same , I have written some discussions and I have had SO MANY lovely responses , I have made quite a few lovely friends on here too, sometimes I have a problem too trying to decide who is the best , and sometimes too there are lots more after you choose the best response , I try to leave them for a while now before I choose one xx
1 person likes this
@kuirqs (512)
• Philippines
18 Feb 07
First of all, my prayers for your friend. I know how it feels to have someone close to be in a comatose state, in my case, my brother. I pray for you that you will be able to handle the situation well.
As for picking a best response, I find it difficult to do so as well. Especially with the discussions I start (mine are usually just to know what someone likes or prefers, etc), it's very hard to do. I am guilty of putting off marking a response as best as long as I can coz it's so hard to choose!
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Thank you for your prayers and I am sorry about your brother.
I don't think there is anything wrong with putting off choosing the best response. I think that is better than choosing one immediately.
thanks for responding.
@xXmeganxX (4420)
•
17 Feb 07
i too find it hard to rate somebody best response as most of the responses to my discussions that i put up are brilliant, when i first joined i didn't really understand and just rated anyone best response if you know what i mean but now i have done about 5 discussions and haven't chosen best response, im going to wait for a while and see if anymore people reply as that could be the best answer, who knows!!?? and then start choosing my best response but i don't want the others to feel guilty either when i do choose! :o)
2 people like this
@hopeful28 (1439)
• Singapore
23 Feb 07
Oh yes, I experience the same problems too. I usually give my questions at least 3 days to a week to garner the responses and then try to make a decision by then. However, when there are many good responses, it is difficult to choose one out of the many so I hope and pray that nobody gets offended if they are not chosen. Other times, when there are just a few responses and none seems to be really fantastic, I will usually wait a period of time and come back to review it again before deciding. However, my aim is to make friends, and hopefully be able to help some people and make them laugh. Just have fun!
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
23 Feb 07
Yes I agree. If I have a discussion that is not getting very many responses I will wait about a week and then go back to choose. For discussions that garner a lot of responses I usuallyonly wait about 3 or 4 days. I know that sounds crazy but I think when I get over 40 responses there are so many good ones to chose from that I don't see the need to wait a full week. My main goal is to learn, meet new people and have fun too. Thanks for responding.
@LightninStrike (5915)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
23 Feb 07
Well I don't always give a best response, and the reason is that there are times that more than one person replies and i cannot make up my mind about who deserves the extra rating. I mean, if both have a lot of quality, I don't think that giving the best response to one of them only can be fair, since the other response is as good. So What i do is rate them both but without giving a best response. I don't know if this is the best policy to follow, what do you think?
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I think we should give the best response, because mylot has it there for us and I am sure they want us to use it. But I agree that it is so hard when you have so many wonderful respoonses. I just try to comment to everyone and then step outside myself and read the responses and see which one stirs the most emotion in me. I do rate every response, and comment on every response, but I really like to take that final step and chose a best response. Thanks for responding.
@bluewings (3857)
•
23 Feb 07
I am just beginning to understand how choosing the best response could become a tough proposition.With a deluge of great responses you feel so much more responsible while making your choice.Every great response is important and I don't dare skip even a single line lest,I repent later.For me it has to be the one that best answers my question and yet ,is different from the rest.Perhaps,going with your instinct after you have filtered a few that qualify ,is a good way.However,if I am unsure then I'd rather wait for that moment of clarity than just get over with it.I keep telling myself that it won't haunt me in my dreams,lol.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
24 Feb 07
I do narrow it down to a few that seem to stand out and then I re-read them and make note of which number they were then I leave and go back to re-read them and see if one of those stands out above the others. I guess everyone has their own way of doing it and I am finally learning mine. Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
17 Feb 07
First it shows mylot that you are participating totally in the community and in the end that helps rasie your earnings. It is also a way of closing a discussion since many people won't respond after a best response is chosen. You should always wait a few days before choosing it, that way you give more people a chance to respond. It also gets people noticing you and possibly asking to be your friend here, and haivng a firend list does help get your discussions noticed.
For the person who is chosen as a best response it does help raise their earnings as well. It is something that everyone should aspire to get becuase that helps keep the quality of discussion high.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
18 Feb 07
it is absolutely horrible having to choose a best response at times. I usually wait a couple of weeks but still find it hard. However, this is when i have had some good ones.
The hardest one for me is one with just one poor and abusive response. Im not giving it a best response, not ever
blessed be
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
19 Feb 07
Yea, I think I will let the discussions with no clear best response sit unresolved because like you I refuse to give a best response to a response that clearly doesn't deserve it. Thanks for responding.
@SimplyJo (1694)
• India
22 Feb 07
Yes dear for me too there are times when i really dread marking the best response... Like i have few discussions which have 0-3 responses right now (As i write..) i've been waiting for a month for them to pick up, with no luck. if i had even one decent response to it, i'd have marked it. And one more discussion i started on new years to wish everyone.. don't really know how to mark 'a best wish' ? i mean i appreciate everyones wishes - how can there ever be like ONE best wish ?
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I think the ones with few responses are easie to deal with, just let them go and wait until you get more responses. But the ones like you New Years one, or one that is of a personal nature, those are hard to choose because there is not really set answer, it is just people's honest thoughts and wishes. Thanks for responding.
@lauriefnp (5109)
• United States
20 Feb 07
I find myself putting off choosing a best response often because of the exact reasons that you mentioned. In the beginning I would chose the "best of the worst" as you did; now I will just not choose a best response if none of the answers are good. In the second case, you have to go with your gut feelings and choose whichever response stands out the most and touched you the most. You can even make a comment for each person in the discussion thanking them for their response so that they know you read the post and appreciated it. I don't think that anyone takes these things personally.
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
20 Feb 07
yea, I think I was putting way to mush thought into this. I know the people who answered the personaly discussion, did so out of kindness, not to try and get best response, so I just shouldn't worry about it. It's just that this was my first real personal discussion and the response really wowed me. I do take the time to comment on everyone's response except for those few that just don't deserve it like the I know responses. Thanks for responding.
@sweetlady10 (3611)
• United States
19 Feb 07
To choose best response is the hard thing to do as a Mylot member. I just don't like to do that. It is really hard to choose specially when you are getting lots of quality responses and also when you get responses near or over hundred. These condition are real hard.
1 person likes this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
19 Feb 07
I generally love choosing the best response. I do agree that the more responses you get the harder it is to choose, but that is a problem that I really don't mind having. Thanks for responding.
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
18 Feb 07
Sunnypub, I had a discussion awhile back too where I received much support and help, and I wish that I could've thanked each person with a best response. But since that isn't possible, I chose the answer that I really felt deserved it above the rest. But I did thank just about every last person that wrote to me in that topic, of course not just by saying 'thank you' (since Mylot doesn't like for us to do that, lol) but by responding with the best response I could think of to give back to them. That's the most that we can do when we can't give out more than one best response award, even though we may have many people that we wish to award! ^_^
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
19 Feb 07
The support here from most other mylotters is just terrific, isn't it. I know the responses I got to the personal discussion I started have really helped, and I know that simply thanking and rating people does not show just how much I appreciate their support. I do go back and comment on every response that isn't useless and thank them in the comment, and I do rate every response. This discussion has helped me realize that I just need to mark one a best response and not worry about the others because they already know how much I appreciate their support. Thank you for repsponding.
@Sasselle (698)
• Australia
19 Feb 07
Is there anything even written in the FAQ saying that you have to give a best answer??
Unless one really stands out to me i'll just leave it and then go back to it. I don't have that many unresolved discussions but I have a few that i'm not sure about.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
19 Feb 07
In the Do's and Don'ts Guidelines it states:
Be sure to rate users’ discussions, responses, comments, and photos for the new myLot reputation system. The myLot reputation rating is decided by myLot users.
I think choosing a best response is just part of the total participation and it does help with reputation ratings.
I will not choose one though if one is not deserved and I think MyLot understands that.
Thanks for responding.
