Last night i caught my 14 year old with my pack of cigarettes and my lighter

Ok, so you're disappointed, but whatever you do, you need to keep your head about this, in order to maintain a good, open relationship with your daughter. It may be the only time she's smoked since you thought you solved the issue, or it may be that she has a group of friends, who egg her on. I think you should stay calm, but sit down and talk with her again about the incident. Tell her that you thought you'd resolved the issue of her smoking, and ask her why she felt the need to do it again. Let her tell you, rather than laying the law down to her. You didn't tell us her age, so it's a bit difficult to respond to this, but I would imagine if it's two years after your original discussion on smoking, that she is of the age whereby she can smoke, so really, it's her choice, but there's no harm in your giving her guidance and pointing out the health issues to her. In the end, she will respect that you gave her the option. Whilst kids are growing up, especially between the commencement of menstruality, (11-12), until they're about 19/20, they are experimenting in so many "adult" things. They have to do this, in able to find their personal path and with guidance from you, rather than a ruling attitude, she'll realise what's best for her and will turn out to be a great adult. Good luck with this and Brightest Blessings. :-)

well you should just blame yourself, children between the age of 7 to 14 tend to do what they see, especially what they see their parents do.. if you use to smoke in front of her, she'll do what you do too.. so please talk to your daughter to tell her not to smoke, tell her the danger of smoking, and most importantly, you yourself should quit smoking.

That's crazy...that is far too young..to be smoking...You need to have a talk to her..and explain to her your concerns. She needs to stop this terrible habit. How on earth did she start smoking so young anyway? I hope you can get her to stop for her own health and well being...You need to put your foot down with her...and tell her that this is unexectable...

Perhaps she will understand if you explain and tell your own story, how you got hooked and how many young people get addicted when they are so young and childish that they think it is "cool" to smoke. It is an undeniable truth that children tend to follow what you do, not what you say, so that would perhaps motivate you to quit smoking. It is your desicion, but whatever you do will affect your child forever.

You know what, there's a couple of people in here that have REALLY given you (as far as i can see) the best responses for this, the first one for sure.... and i don't mean as on line raitings... I mean that when i was between 8 and 14 i smoked, actually non stop. My parents caught me, yelled and screamed, forced me to stop, thought they had taken away every avenue, and i was good at hiding it, and about every year or 2 they would catch me again... Same damned thing... I wanted to quit, i did, i didn't really like it, they made me dizzy and everything, hell i just wanted them on my side. But they weren't. They wouldn't talk to me, or anything... and i think that was the one reason i started in the first place, because they didn't give me the time of day, and since they smoked, i therefore had something in common with them... But it's not just that, it can be anything... But one thing i do know is that kids/teeny boppers/teens, they need someone to talk to about these issues.if the parents usually cause problems, by screaming, setting down the law, yada yada yada, but it usually makes kids learn to hide it better, or just rebel more. Keep your friendship with your daughter, show her you love her, and talk to her about everything. Chances are she's doing it because of her friends. But yelling isn't going to solve anything, and dissapointment, it's probably going to make it a little worse, even though yes, you have every right to be dissapointed, but it's not going to help the situation right now... I hope it all goes well hun... Take care. Ash

i know it's heartbreaking to catch your child smoking, but at times they will go threw this, not that it's right. it could be peere pressure with her friends.just keep talking to her as you do. tell her the consequences of smoking. and if you have to smoke. do not do it around her, or leave your pack anywhere she can get them. and if she continues. then ground her and take away her favorite things, she likes the best.

I remember a friends mom that actually caught her teen smoking. What she did was extreem, she went to the store and bought two packs, sat the teen down and seated herself on the other side of the table and told the teen to "light up" she could not leave the table until she had finished both packs at once. The teen started and a few hours later she was mre or less turning green. She NEVER smoked again I might add - and to this day she can still remember how disgusting this was. I do not recomend it - but my point is that there are several wasy to appproch this and only you can decide what is the right one for you and your teen. the most important thing is communication! Good luck!

As a smoker myself you can take her to any place where they allow smoking, make her stand there and really look at what's going on. I know your probably thinkging 2nd hand smoke. If I'm right, you won't be there that long. Let here hear all the coughing, this comes from the people that smoke a lot. I don't mean the regular cough, but the omg this person is going to lose a lung cough. All that smoke will make her sick. Tell her if she keeps smoking, that will become her. When I smoke, I make sure I am out in a opening where I can get air. Those places everyone is all bunched together, the smoke has nowhere to go. If that doesn't scare her from smoking, make her smoke a whole pack in a short time frame. Make sure when she get's sick to be outside. Tell her after she get's sick, this is only the beginning. If she keeps this up it will lead to lung cancer, also throat cancer. Hopefully this will scare her into stopping, I wish I never started.

busted !!!!!!!could it be the kid's she hangs around with?children are so much more aware of health issues nowadays,perhaps you could pull up a few pictures on the american cancer institute site on the computer and show her a few diseased lungs,do you smoke,or your husband?could be one of those do as i say not as i do.rebellions,but kids will be kids but she should know better about the smoking,pull up a few pictures

I can understand your disappointment but your daughter is at the stage where she wants to try things for herself, and make her own choices. I know it is hard to cope with but try to stay calm and talk to her. She might, after all, surprise you

It happened to me as well!!! my dad caught me smoking !!! he did not say a word and got out of that sight!! that helped me realise that i was wrong and guilt took over me,,, it showed that i have broken his trust in me and i never tried that again untill i became an adult and got matured with time and also when now i am earning,, he respected me and i respected him .. i think that is what really matters in family, respecting eachothers space... dont expect too much from your kids,,, it may hurt you or them, as they are not as yet used to it

This happens alot. That is how I started smoking when I was 14! I used to take ciggerettes from my mom and take them to school and smoke them. I thought it was cool. i used to practice at home so I wouldn't cough at school so I could look cooler. I guess thats why I smoked for 16 years! I just quit in January 17th and I should have a long time ago. It was not as hard as I made it out to be and If I would have done it years ago maybe I would be healthier right now. Sit down and really talk to her about how smoking is not cool and how badly smokers want to quit but cannot and then discuss with her that you will quit becaus eshe is more important than cigeresttes.

Try not to yell and scream at her, calmly explain to her how bad it is to smoke and why she shouldn't do it. Tell her that is really disappoints you when she does things that are bad for her and it hurts you. I was so afraid of disappointing my parents growing up that I rarely did anything wrong.

Kids sometimes do things because they are stressed out over an incident that is bothering them other than the issue they are trying to cover the pain, other times they just want to plain TRY IT! Think how you were a kid and how hard it was when you were that age. There are so many kids that give others peer pressure, now a days it is even harder cause if they aren't in the group then they age belittled by their friends unless they do it. Then there is the other situation to where they want to be in a group of friends and they do things just to be liked. Maybe you should ask her why she has a coutiosty in smoking? Talk to her as a friend not as a mother, cause the last thing I would want to do is push my kids away from me further. which can be easily done. Ask about her other friends if they are doing the same and why? Get infomation on the subject before you can decide how to really help her, and yet she may not tell you every thing. If you break her trust she will never tell you another thing again! She will only tell you I'm Fine! I know that you are very worried but you must keep calm and approach it carefully but, not to the point of being to scared yourself. Sometimes we loose our heads and go over board only to push our kids away. That is the last thing that you want to do. I have a 13 year old myself and because I have kept and maintained and every day conversation with her. She does tell me important vital things, she has even asked me questions about how she should help her own friends deal with problems when they come to her for help. It is hard to be a child on one level with them and yet be the parent as well but, it works.

Well I know that you must have been very dissapointed. But all you can do is talk sense into her and some like me are very stubborn. I remember that I started smoking when I was 12 and now I am an adult and I still do, even though my mom and dad never touched a ciggarette their entire lives but I still started smoking. As to why, I do not feel like explaining but yeah one thing is for sure, one wrong step and things will get worse. Be more like a friend to your daughter than a mom and then only your daughter will be willing to share her true feelings with you. Also it will be a good idea to watch her friends because mostly it is the friends that influence a person, so make sure that she has the right friends. Also you may get an answer like "you smoke too" well you can just say that I am old enough to do it and when you get old enough then you can too but right now it is a strict no

This is all over the world. Kids are starting to smoke from a very young age. And age that is not good for proper discussion of the problem. If you had this problem before, I think that it'll not be over. 14 is a small age, even for a girl and earlier, you say... that's very bad. I don't think that she has ever stopped smoking. That's not a reason to stop loving your daughter! Just accept it, but try to help her.

I will suggest you that if you caught your daughter red handed, Than don't punished her. You try make understand with politly. And tell to her that cigratte is injured children health .

the best possible thing u can do is to quit ur habbit of smoking try not to smoke infront of her and even if u cant quit smoking just pretend that u have quited it coz its adverse effect nd tell her not go wid and dont try something violent or harsh words try to resolve it wid love nd never loose ur trust on her she will feel very bad abt it nd can start smoking frquently it just a matter of mere understanding btween u nd her jus try not to smoke in front of her nd tell her u had quited it coz of her that u dont wont to misguide her to the way of smoking

You should try to make him understand politly.

Lullabel,you pretend that you does not know about her smoking habit,because it will cause misunderstanding.You try to message her the ill effects about smoling through example of others like movies news etc.Atleast she will reduce!!!!