Will he ever change?

I think it is unlikely he will ever change. My ex has never learnt to budget properly. I think you should have a serious talk with him and ask him about his problem. If he will let you take over his finances and let you sort out what he should be spending his money on and limit his spending money each week then it will show that he is going to be responsible enough to be marriage material.

i have a husband who is exactly the same as you... he spends every single cent that he earns and also has a large credit card debt... i only realise it when i already married with him because he doesn't tell me when we are still dating... and he still spend so much and i have to remind me over and over again that he has a credit card debt to settle... it took me lots of pain and tears to talk to him and i also have to fight with him... but thank Godness now he had realised it and he is really working hard to pay off his debt and he also change his spending habit... he is wiser now in spending his money... i think you have to be stern with your bf and have a serious conversation with him... if he still does not want to change, i think you have to leave him as you are the one who is going to suffer if you continue on this relationship...

Sounds pretty immature to me and personally not worth the wait. Find someone that can give his 50% to the marriage in ALL ways. At 27 if he isn't mature enough to live on his own I'm thinking he may NEVER be!

Its like some guys never grow up but if you really loves him you can change him. If he does really loves you than he will change love him and let him love you too so that he will change to be with you even though it will take time. Good luck

You really need to figure out if this man is what you really want. If he's not willing to change and start being a responsible adult then it might be time to say goodbye and find someone who is. I understand that you love him, and in doing so maybe you could help. Maybe you could suggest some classes to help him learn how to budget better, or maybe even do that for him if he'll let you take over his finances. He might see this as an attempt to control him and if he takes that view things could turn a little nasty, so you do need to be careful in how you choose your words. I think at some point, most guys do realize that they need to grow up. Just for some it takes more time than others, whilst some don't realize till they've lost the best thing that ever happened to them. I hope that this can be resolved soon in a positive manner. Good Luck.

all i can say is that it takes time to find that right person who is ready for what you are in life. i have been with bfs that were GREAT matches for me, but we weren't in the same place in our lives and b/c of that we had to call it quits. it's hard to do, but if you want different things, then you aren't right for each other. my husband and i are on the same wavelength when it comes to everything. we have similar interests and views, but just enough differences that things aren't boring. the biggest thing of all is that we are madly in love with each other and willing to do waht we need to do to make our marriage work and be successful together. if he's having a failure to launch, then maybe you just aren't the one to make him want to grow up. my husband and i were both pretty big partiers and loved the single life, but when we met, it was like WHAM! we realized that we had something special and we knew we had found THAT person. we got married after knowing each other only 4 months and we just had our 1 yr anniversary in december. things are good. we are a team and we work things out for each other, even if it means we don't like it. hubby gets an allowance every month b/c he sucks at finances. i handle a lot of the household management things b/c i'm good at it and i like things MY way. he goes with the flow b/c he doesn'treally care. the point...you guys may love each other, but you may not be right for each other. why don't you take some time off from him and let him do wahtever makes him happy and find your own happiness and if it brings you back together, then so be it, but it sounds like you're just in 2 different places. take care.

I don't think he's going to change anytime soon. He needs to realize on his own that he needs to do things in a different way, and by the time he learns that, he then needs to get out of debt, move out of his parents' place, and stop gambling. The question is, are you willing to wait? My husband and I are having a lot of problems because he wouldn't grow up and face the facts, he kept hoping things would magically fix themselves and it's only just this year that he's been actively trying to do something to improve his life.

It seems he is comfortable with his present position, no real responsibility. I rather doubt he will be willing to settle down now. The fact that he is not paying his credit card bills like he planned to is a really bad sign. You might want to talk to him, and if you see no improvement move on.

first of all, 27 and living at home? get Rid of Him... you surely can find someone else. I believe he is very dependent on his parents, and you will never have a life with just him, and obviously no money. so start looking.

if he has not relised it now he never will. also he needs 2 sort out his gambling habbits, if he stop then he should grow up and now relise his not a gild any more and now pay for his ganbilng debpts amd so on...

Well first thing you need to do is talk to him about it. My boyfriend is 23 and still lives at home but he doesn't go out ever. He saves his money so that he can afford to get a place soon. You need to tell your boyfriend that you want to have more than just a boyfriend who lives at home and goes to the bar all the time. He needs to see that he needs to change or he'll never do it. He probably doesn't realize what he's doing and he probably doesn't know that it's bothering you.

It sounds to me he lives like this because he can, it is obviously cheaper for him to live with his parents and he loves the benefits of living this way, perhaps his parents should cut the apron strings for him, i will always be there for my son, but i will also always encourage him to be independant! I think mummy and daddy like him there and he likes his life, the majority of 'adults' these days have credit card debt, we don't all move in with our parents to pay it off tho!! He certainly needs to grow up!!

He won't change as long as his parents make it easy for him. you also need to ask yourself if I have a family with this man, what is going to be more important to him drinking or his family.

As a guy, I would say that its ok to have a few binges at the bar after work. But, look if you cant afford it, don't act like you can. Charging the card may look very decent adn sauve, but look who will get the last laugh. The credit company LOL. Think your man is a guy concerned with image and himself. If he is not waking up to the calls from the credit companies, most likely he will be going into hibernation with the credit card bills. No offence meant, but I think this type of guy as irresponsible and insecure. You cant buy the world or anything with a negative bank account and a credit card, you jsut keep digging a hole through your pocket and the pockets of those who love you.

Well I would tell you that you are both fairly young...however you don't want this to continue forever. I would sit him down and have a serious conversation with him and let him know how you feel about his lifestyle and the fact that he still lives at home. It sounds like he is still in the partying phase and you just want to go in a different direction. I think you should let him know that you are tired of this behaviour and are looking for something more. He will either understand and love you enough to calm down and become responsible or not....so then you will know where to take this relationship...

i think he has difficulty on diciding to that matter. its really hard to commet with someone who doesnt have enough responsibitily sense to themselfs. i hate it.to depended to their parents, if i were you, i will leave him. to much man in this world. you can still find better than that.

Looks like he has already chosen the path he wants to follow.As 27 already full of debt! and drinks. Well from where i come from we have a saying that a responsible man must not be engaged in Three things 1. Gambling. 2. Drinking. 3. Womanising, well we do not know if he does the third but the chances is low, cause you dont find responsible people going to pub as if going to work!. So takl it over with him if he dosn't change my dear you are still young and attractive, move on!. Dont be fooled such attitude must not be given to ones kid.

we don't know your boy friend can change or not. I just give you suggestion that you must give him time to change (maybe 6 months) if not try find another good boy. I said this because this life very very long time and we need certainty to pass this life.

Honey, a change is definitely required soon and I'm not talking about your boyfriend. You need to seriously reconsider your decision to stick around with somebody who seems like such a miserable excuse for a person. How can a person who is so irresponsible be expected to handle any responsibility? If he cannot be accountable for himself, how can he be accountable for the both of you and the family that you may have in the future? He is not a teenager, that you can provide leeway saying that he will grow up. He will hit his thirties in less than three years and if he hasn't done with growing up till now, he never will. You seem to be a sensible person. Take a good, long look at your choice of partner and chart out your future course.

Hello, This one is is tough because you do love him but he's not exactly on the same level as you are. There has been a lot of good and bad advice given here. Its up to you to weed through it and then make your decision on him and your life. You need to first ask yourself a few honest questions. They are going to be tough questions which will lead to your next actions and ultimately what you will do. The first and really only question you need to ask yourself is. Do you see with him 40 years from now? There are a lot of other questions you can ask yourself that go with that one but that is basic down to earth question. Do you see yourself married with kids with him? If you say no because of how he is acting now; then you need to have a long serious talk with him. You need to give him yourself; and let him know that you want more. You would like to have more with him, but if things don't change then you will have to move on. Don't use this as a bluff; in the end you can't change him, only give him nudges in the right direction. He has to decide to change, right now without any sort of motivation he won't. It will a little time and do expect him to stubble, but the thing that will really tell you something is if he gets back up from stubbling and continues to move forward. He has already made some strides in the right direction; he's gotten or is getting control of his gambling addiction; which is a very difficult thing to do. You also need to know though that most addicts change one addiction for another. His partying could be his new addiction that he is using to cope with not gambling. The last question you need to ask yourself is. Is he worth all the effort? Is our relationship worth it? If you want to spend the rest of your life with him; the answer has to be yes. Every relationship takes work, there is going to be times when you pretty much hate each other because of things you do to each other; but those times are very quick and passing. Love is easy; its the relationship that takes work and if you do want to spend the rest of your life with him; both of you will have to put the work into it. I could ramble on but I think you get what I'm saying. Good luck in what you decide whether you stay or go, follow your heart because instincts are almost never wrong.