Political discussions with family members
By AndiCat
@AndiCat (325)
United States
March 9, 2007 3:55pm CST
A relative of mine spent 5 days with us recently. She is on the complete opposite end of the political spectrum from hubby and me. She knew this coming in. My decision before she arrived was to avoid discussion of all things politcal, and to not even put it on any of the cable new channels for fear of getting into an argument. Another family member even emailed me ahead of time warning me not to get into a discussion with this other family member, and I had NO intention of doing so. The visiting relative knew of our affiliation, and I assumed she would do the same.
I was wrong. She took every opportunity to change the tv channel to the channels that lean in her direction. She also made political jabs and barbs at our affilitation every chance she got. On most occasions, we ignored her. Only a couple of instances did we give short responses, mainly to shut her up.
My question is this: How likely are you to start a political "discussion" with a family member who you know is on the opposite side? Does it eventually lead to an argument? Do you start something in their home? Can you disagree in a friendly way, or does it turn ugly?
8 people like this
20 responses
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
9 Mar 07
I really enjoy talking politics with people and I'm not really passionate about any particular political party but have strong views about certain issues. I can get very heated if I am in the mood and do enjoy this type of debate so it never really turns ugly for me as I enjoy it even if we are having an 'argument'.
2 people like this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
9 Mar 07
Well I must admit I try to avoid talking politics with anyone when I know it is going to end up in a row of some kind. An adult discussion where you can listen to each other and be civil is good, but sadly most "discussions" about poiltics, and religion get very heated because people have such strong views about them. I must admit I think it was very rude of this person to come into your home, fiddle with your TV, and try to provoke an argument, and you and your husbad were very patient not to respond in too heated a manner. Cheers!
@Phlamingho (7823)
• Denmark
9 Mar 07
My political views are VERY different from the views of my family so I never discuss politics with them, I do enjoy discussing with my friends though.
@laurabeth (145)
• United States
9 Mar 07
My brother and I are complete opposites when it comes to politics. It doesn't get in our way though. It seems that every time we get together we end up in a political debate but its all in good fun. We both respect each other enough to know that regardless of how we feel on the topic we love each other. I am sorry that this is obviously not the case for this family member. I think we all need to respect our differences, if we were all the same where would we be.
1 person likes this
@speakeasy (4171)
• United States
9 Mar 07
With me, the person on the "other side" is usually my husband. Yes, I start political discussions with him, especially when we have diferent opinions, even if it means we will end up having an argument.
Why - because I love him and don't want him to make a stupid mistake and end up "cancelling" my vote at the polls.
I check out facts, read reports from BOTH sides, and make my decisions based on logic. I do NOT believe politicians who try to get my vote by saying what they "think" I want to hear. Nor, do I automatically believe the slander they spread about the other candidate.
My husband is like the majority of Americans. He believes things and doesn't check things out to see if they are telling the truth or not.
I am also willing to discuss politics with other friends and family for the same reason - to try to educate them and keep them from making stupid mistakes. Most of the time, I try to keep it friendly. However, I will tell them right up front; that, if what they say they want (candidate or new law) comes to pass and then proves to be a mistake; I WILL tell them "I told you so!".
@AndiCat (325)
• United States
10 Mar 07
It can be difficult to decipher what is truth and what is lies, especially where the media is concerned. People do need to do their homework in order to make the best decision.
Luckily, my hubby and I are on the same page, or things could get pretty testy, I 'm sure!
Thank you for your response.
@melindagr9 (143)
• United States
10 Mar 07
It is best to avoid political conversations with family members who cannot have a peaceful debate. Some people simply cannot handle the fact that other people disagree with them. These people are the reason why America is in the condition that it is in today. We have to learn to work with those of differing political beliefs in order to accomplish common goals. You were right in your situation, and if she visits again let her know that youd rather have a politic-free visit.
@shrekk (561)
• Pakistan
10 Mar 07
I'm just a 17 year old, so I'm not that aware of politics in my country as to engage in an argument with anyone, any grown-up at least. However, I think I take much more interest in my country's politics than the average student of my age. So I see lots of political discussions in my life ahead! Though I havent really been in any till now, I know that I'd never go to the extent of making a discussion such a serious case. At home, its usually my dad who's talking politics. Most of my views are based on his opinions. MOST, not all. I have some of my own, but even so, if I ever get into an argument with him, I know its never gonna be anything violent!
@venshida (4836)
• United States
10 Mar 07
To avoid agrument, I don't even start the conversation. It's fruitless. They always get upset and screams. I don't even discuss my political views with friends who thinks differently. If they start the conversation, I usually change it to something else. It's not worth it.
@irisheyes (4370)
• United States
10 Mar 07
My brother and I are polar opposites when it comes to politics (& most other things for that matter). When we were still talking, I avoided the issues as much as possible. But when he ssending emails to me that stated things from his side of the fence, I asked him to stop. Since then, we haven't seen much of each other.
I think your realtive was rude and ignorant but I guess this is a common situation in America. I wonder how many American families just cancel out each other's votes? I always feel it's important for me to vote just in case my brother for some reason or other can't get to the polls but I think he usually votes in every election and we just neutralize each other.
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
10 Mar 07
Well you can disagree in a friendly way..It is not such a big thing to me and I am not much concerned about politics..If such things come up I listen and asks questions but never to argue.If you feel your relative is starting to argue tell them to change the topic because you don't want your chat to end up into a bad discussion.
@KetanGulati (579)
• India
10 Mar 07
well i belive i am quite intelligent, at politics peculiarly.... but my brohter and mom are very very staright and simple and i definitely dont expect them to be so much political -- neither they are!! infact since ever they had been stopping me to get into anything like that -- but being a corporal professional -- politics comes naturally to me and I dont have a way out except for accepting it,,... but I never regret it...reason being simple -- i dont believe that being political is bad .... it rather helps you at so many phases of life,,,,
@Married2aMarine (1273)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Urrgghh!! I hate this. I think politics and religion are the two top things I avoid discussions with with family members. It's hard though when you get people from such extremes and want to push their points of views on you. I prefer to take the "let's agree to disagree" approach as much as possible but I know some people will not let off that easily and keep picking and picking on something. Really gets on my nerves.
@liranlgo (5752)
• Israel
10 Mar 07
o.k. this is a painful post.
ofcourse i have a familly member with a different opinions..political opinions then me..
he comes to visit about once a month and the whole family prepers for it..it is known as third world war
there is no way not to talk about it..believe me we tried..we even succeeded for 1 day..but that's it:)
@tator_tot8073 (698)
• United States
13 Mar 07
I have found that it is best not to talk about that kind of thing around my family. We all have many different views on things. Most of my family would be considered liberal (democrats). I like to think that I am more conserative.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
10 Mar 07
Didn't someone state that you don't dicuss politics, money or religion with friends?It is just rude to try to start a arguement with your host or hostess.It would be different if she didn't know your views and just started talking about current events. But to know your views and bring them up and belittle you and your husband is just rude. I think you should ask about politics with your immediate family.But as soon as you know you and your family member are on opposite sides you should agree to dissagree.Time with your family is too important to spend it arguing over politics.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
10 Mar 07
MY political views, as well as many of my other views, are very different from my family. Just to prevent me from screaming I keep a good list of neutral topics up my sleeve from the latest movie to an earthquake, so I can control the discussions.
@ackars (1942)
• India
10 Mar 07
There is no problem in having political discussions at home..But each one of us has to realise that its not the politics,its the family members or friends who are always there for you..Have a friendly discussion at home..No problem.When you realise its going to be bad,stop at that point..
@snarkymolarky (76)
• United States
10 Mar 07
I love talking politics, but I realize that not everyone does, so if I do share my opinion or disagree with them, I do it in a friendly manner, and don't push it. If they start debating me, however, I will go all out and debate, because I do thoroughly love doing so.
@whymrhymer (26)
• United States
10 Mar 07
It's a very individual thing! There are some people (like your guest) who take an evangelistic attitude when it comes to politics -- they "know" that their way is the only way and anyone who does not agree with them is either seriously misguided or a fool. You can't "discuss" politics with this type of person and you apparently instinctively knew that because you handled it just right.
Many, if not most other people enjoy the debate and find joy in defending their point-of-view but not in a harsh or mad way because they know that when the discussion turns into a 'brawl' they have just lost a 'debating partner.'
