Male Friend Requests

So you are 27 years old and have "rules" set by your husband. If I was your friend, I would have said don't post this. It is no one's business but yours. But since you did, this is my comments. I looked at your profile. You are young. It doesn't say how long married but probally not too long. Controlling men are scarey. First you can't do this and before you know it, you can't even live the house. Trust must be a big issue for you 2 or just him. It is a shame. I didn't read all your comments to other replys. I did look some. You didn't want others to comment but you started this discussion. I don't understand. Are you trying to vent or find a way out? Do you want other's to share stories of their EX's that became out of control? I usually don't have anything to do with MEN online. It has nothing to do with my husband. There is nothing wrong with men. I just never liked it. Now I have been talking online to men and it has been very interesting. I hear about their wives and what they do for a living. If I am asked, I say I am married. I have been with my husband for 14 years. We trust each other 100% no matter what you hear us say or do. He would never ask or tell me to decline a friend request on here. Your husband should have more trust and respect for you. Just my opinion of course from a OLD married woman.

how do you know if its a man or a woman im a woman and been mistaken for a guy a few times

I was somehow surprised and confused by your post, i thought you may be harassed by some members or something.. but reading through the discussion i can see your point, not that I think it's the best way but if this arrangements work best for you and your husband then it's your choice.. I would just like to point that very few "friends" in mylot have actual contacts outside the boards (PM or emails) and it's easy to turn such advances down (if any) you are actually talking with men now on the boards and can not ask only females to respond to your discussions! adding people to your friends list just help finding good discussions from people with similar interests and helps in getting more responses to your own discussions, it's not a dating or epals site where a lot of married women would ask for female only friends for a good reason, anyway it's your choice and it's ok for us as long as you are happy with it :)

Goodness, how come your husband has such a strong control over you, and what is he worried about? have you done something to make him distrust you?

I have taken a look at the responses you are getting and i dont think they are fair enough. Fine we all are entitle to our opinions and such should be respected. What is the worth of frienship(probably anonymous) at a forum compared to the stability of a marriage? Please continue to do whatever that works for you guys. There is no hard and fast rule about relationships it's just the rules or should i say guidelines you have made for each other that should prevail at all times. I dont think he is controlling you.I may not share his view but is immaterial to what you both want. May you continue to respect each other.

Kudos to you! I can understand, completely. You want to avoid scandal and unbecoming appearances. I don't think the mylot "friends" are generally an intimacy issue, but I completely understand your rule for yourself and your husband's for you.

I understand your comment and accept it.What would worry me is that your husband is showing alot of insecurity and is trying to over-control your life.Please take time to discuss anything with your husband before things start getting out of control.In any relationship,communication and trust are the foundations and ifthey are weakened in any way it is difficult to repair them.

okay hon, I understand, I wish you luck with all your female friends that you will be making here. There is enough people to go around.

well, it's good you can say something like this in the open...i'm sure a lot of people will judge you!!! good luck and enjoy your husband

Don't mean to be rude but I would tell your hubby to go and fudge himself. I have read some of the replies to your post and I do think your hubby is trying to control you, if my partner did that I would tell him to, well you know what. You are an individual and anyway this place here at MY LOT is harmless for most part. Can your hubby not except that this is one of your outlets here at MY LOT and you should be free to choose friends no matter whether they are male or female. I feel pretty strong about this subject so I apologise in advance if I have offended you and your hubby.

I am not male but I can understand why you must decline some requests. Marriage is so very important. Glad you value yours.

I deny people friendship on here all the time. Unless you know someone personally I wouldn't worry about hurting their feelings by not adding them as a friend on here. You don't need 400 people saying that they are your friends, but never talk to you.

wow, this is new... but i understand you and your husband's predicament. i guess its just an agreement for the two of you. I have a bf but i am not yet married and if ever i am i don't want my husband to ask me to limit my friends to female only. but if ever i will introduce him to my male friends as well so as not to have any problems with our relationship.

hi prince, you are worthy of being a frend. and i understand your situation and so will not ask you to be a frend. but we can still discuss on certain issues that you or i post. and whenever you want to smile, just remember me, the smiley devil. good wishes to you and your husband. mike, the cute smiley cute devil

Why does your husband forbid you on the internet to have a male friend? Oh dear, are you abused? Is he controling? After reading about the 13 year old, I am worried about his behavior.

Wow, that is pretty ridiculous since your husband has some bad behaviors that he forces you to live with, and yet he goes and puts rules upon you to follow. I responded in another post of yours about your husband's disrespect of your marriage by continually talking and hanging out with a 13 year old little girl, yet he doesn't want you to have online friends that might be male. Sounds to me like he is controlling you and manipulating you--he can do worse to you, but you can't do anything that may make him insecure and jealous, even if you aren't doing anything wrong. As I read your posts, and your blog, I am so sad for you, and I find these posts and discussions you have written to be a cry for help--desperation. You are in a bad situation and you need to get yourself some real counseling so you can be empowered and find your inner strength and get yourself out of this toxic relationship you are in. If you ever need to talk privately, please message.

I was just reading one of your other discussion and I hope I don't go to far by saying this. In one of your other discussions you said that he was accusing you of trying to control him to his friends. It sounds like he is trying to control you, it shouldn't matter who you have on your friends list on here. You are not doing any harm, it is not like you are seeing these people, you are just reading and responding to their discussions. I feel he needs to trust you more. If he is worried about what private messages you are getting, then maybe offer for him to read them with you, although this does seem really controlling. I hope this didn't offend you in anyway. Controlling men just really annoy me.

I think you should allow yourself to be friends with people based on common interests instead of gender... And from reading a recent post of yours I would say I think it is funny that you honor your husband's preferences regarding who you should be friends with on the internet when he is not honoring your preferences regarding hanging out with an underage female in real life. I'm not saying he is controlling, or you are controlling, and there is no judgement here. I just see what I see, and it seems odd to me that you can't have innocent conversation online with men, but he does what he wants regardless of your opinion on the matter.. I don't think that is mutual respect at all.

I think we all have the ultimate say in who we choose to add as our friends, and who we choose not to... and it feels to me like people are taking you to task over things you never really said, filling in "blanks" about the nature of your marriage that were never really mentioned in the first place. What goes on in a couple's marriage is between THEM, and not something we can readily summarize in some "global" statement. If you say there's no abusive situation in your marriage, then it's my job as a compassionate human being to accept that at face value... not to argue with you about it. The fact that such an arragement would not work for ME is neither here nor there... since it is not YOU and I who are married, here. You probably caught yourself some unneccesary flak by using the word "ALLOWED" in your original post... had you said "prefers it if I don't have male friends" (or something like it) I doubt anybody would have jumped to any conclusions.

That seems a bit unusual to me but if your husband has a problem with that I guess it's not worth causing a disagreement about.