Help! I Am Angry AT My Son, Really Angry

But he didn't do it on purpose. He just got rid of what he thought that he was supposed to. Kids don't seem to always hear exactly what we say. Sometimes when we tell the kids something, we think that we are being clear in what we are telling them to do and yet, to the kids, they heard it a little differently than we said or than we meant. And it sounds like he did a good job. Unfortunately, to kids, everything is going to look like it's junk that's ready to get rid of.

Well your kid probably only heard 1/10th of what you said. You probably said this, "There are two piles under the tree. One tree over there with the good stuff is stuff we want to keep and they are serviceable. DO NOT THROW THOSE AWAY! I want you to take the junk near the tree and throw that away. Do you understand?" And he said yes. This is what he heard, "Throw out that stuff under the tree...blah...blah...blah. Do you understand?"

can they be replaced and if you are still angry at your sone stop step back and count to 10 or say a prayer for God to guild you in what to do and let your son know that you are very upset with him and tell him that you still love him I have raised 4 sons my self and there were times that i want to stangle them but I stopped step back and moved on but I always let them know that I love them still hope that this helps

Maybe your son did not understand your instructions well and thought you want everything to be discarded already that's why he threw everything. Give yourself time until your anger for him fades. When you're a lot sobber, maybe you'll understand him better.

I understand you being angry, but try not to let it get to you too much. It was probably just an honest mistake, and he probably feels horrible right now, and inadequate. Don't let him feel that way. The worse thing for a child to feel, is that their parents can't trust or rely on them any more. It isn't worth causing a rift in your relationship. We all can make mistakes, and this is just one of those unfortunage mistakes. I do understand your frustration, but in the long run, it isn't worth, him feeling like he doesn't measure up.

i think at first you should take alook atrash can if there are there , you can pick up them and restore them , and it is not possible , it is bettter that you forgive him and forget about it.

yeah it happens. Boys in general don't fully listen. You told him specifics he heard generalalities and just got rid of it all. Don't stress, it happens. My son threw out the Halloween costumes I bought when he was told to take out the garbage. Any bag he saw went. Did I mention there were 6 costumes @ almost $45 each in the bag? Yeah coulda killed him. He's a boy It happens

I have a 12 year old and he is the same way, I've learned through talking to him, I have to make sure he understands what I'm saying when I instruct him to do something. Sometimes, kids hear but don't hear. Or have that selective hearing thing working. They know they supose to take something out, or do this, but to what extent or which one is where sometimes it can be rather selective.. My suggestion to you is when you instruct him to do something, just make sure he understands and if need be, have him repeat it back to you so that you don't have to be upset or angry, futhermore wondering if he totally understood what you instructed him to do...

i believe that you are angry with your son but its hard.... you and your son may be different he may have thought that the things you have not yet sorted are junk for him, and that it may still be useful for you. you should have done it so that there would be no problem and that you your self would know what things are needed and not. unlike your son who has less knowledge about things like that.

Well you don't need to worry about me telling you to chill out. The way I hate to throw anything away I'd probably would have had a stroke by now if someone did that to me. I guess if the items are already off to the dump there's not much a person can do. It is very frustrating when people don't listen to directions and unfortunately it's not just the kids these days it's everyone... Try To Rest...

Be patient with your son. In fact be happy. Here's the bright side. most sons don't do what your son did. In fact if you have a different son, you probably still find the stuff you want to get rid of under the tree.

he 's he angry at you also?

If your son is a good harted person, he probably thought he was doing you favor by throwing it all out. If you had to go through it in the first place you weren't using it at all and it was just sitting there. So I would think about that one. He may have saved you from resorting in the future.

Things are just that...things, they can never take the place of your son, maybe he didn't do like you asked, maybe he threw them away, but should you be so angry with him that you don't know how to deal with it, I think maybe you went a bit over board? You have to pick and choose your battles, I mean was there any one thing in the pile that were servaceable etc. that you can live without? Is it worth making your son feel self conscious and a failure? I am betting likely that life will go on with or with out the things he threw away wether he meant to or not. Tell him that you are disappointed and why, perhaps it would be that there is a lack of effective communication, or that you feel he doesn't listen to you, every negative thing that happens presents for an opportunity of learning with all people involved. I feel like you need to check your feelings perhaps you are just tired and or stressed and that was the final straw? Even so I think maybe your anger is missplaced.

I have a teenager myself and one thing I've come to realize is repeating instructions don't really get you anywhere. In my personal experience what seems to work best is limiting my words in my instructions. If the goal I want accomplished is throwing out the stuff under the tree, then that's what I say. "See the stuff under that tree over there? Please throw it away for me." I've found that this seems to work better. With all those hormones racing around and the changes they're going through and trying to find where their place is in the world, I find they have very little room left in their brains for directions. :) Hang in there.

I don't think you really sound angry, velasco, because a really angry man never begins by introducing himself as "really angry" and ending so as well. Maybe you're just temporarily a little bit annoyed. It'll go away soon and you'll realise afterwards that getting angry at such a small thing was really such a waste of time and energy. Try to bring this "afterwards time" a little bit earlier, that's all I can advise you, and for this, you need to sit back, have a glass of water and keep posting more and more on Mylot! Hope you didn't have anything VERY valuable in the items you lost.

Look on the bright side, you don't have to sort through it anymore, plus you are maybe like me and a bit of a hoarder, chances are if it is a big load of stuff that has had to be sorted then you hadn't used it for ages anyway. look on it as a bigger spring clean than you planned, we have too much clutter in our lives so be thankful that you now have less of it. When I moved here a few years ago I threw a lot of stuff away and my ex husband helped my 2 sons to move the rest of the stuff here while I was at work and he threw loads of my stuff away instead. I was upset but really he did me a favour as I need to declutter again and it would be worse if I hadn't had it imposed on me. Your son didn't do it on purpose but you must have had a lot of clutter to have to take a break like that. People are more important than things and your son is even more important, one day you'll look back on this and laugh so save some time and laugh now, be thankful for the extra space in your house.

dont let your anger condume you. you are eaten up by emotion. dont think so much about it. how much does it cost anyway? is it worth the heavy feeling? is it worth a ruined relationship with your son. maybe you jsut have a miscommunication and he wasnt really able to understand what you are trying to say. maybe he just want to help and thought that what he did was helpful. see, what is his intention is really good. try to forgive him. he is your son. and we are all capable of doing mistakes. so cheer up and forget it. try to forgive.

get your anger out by beating him with a twig a little twig hit him and he won't get hurt and you'll both just end up laughing or better yet go through your trash and find what you didn't want trashed like your first response i would have done that i only pay attention to the whole thing if it something i am interested in

Your son didn't understood you at that point of time.as you are so tired ,you became angry.such things are quiet common in life