How would you react to a friend like this?
By tammyr
@tammyr (5946)
Etowah, Tennessee
April 8, 2007 2:30am CST
I had a friend, I'll call him David (‘cause that is his name!). David fell of the cliffs near our home and broke his back. I was not there but figure he was drunk. I was helping him out by doing his errands for him. I was doing this one day with a friend I will call Mimi (that’s her name, too!). She was familiar with what David was taking. She also knew how bad he was injured. She offered to take me and I accepted.
We went to the drug store and gave them the prescription than over to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Back to the Drug store to pick up the medications. I stuck them down in my purse after rolling the top of the bag down, they almost fit in but was sticking up a little.
We then stopped by the cigarette store to get some smokes. When I came out, the pharmacy bag was not rolled up the same way it had been. I am not that dense! I knew she had been in my purse and did not see anything gone so I thought she was looking for a lighter or something.
when we got to his house there were several people there. I stuck my purse in the back of a closet in the other room. I made sure it was under a lot of stuff and it could not be seen. I also kept my eye on the door. When everyone had left I went and got my purse and went back to his room.
I told him what happened and counted the pills in front of him. We both agreed that she was the only one that could have taken them.
Some how Mimi found out I told David she stole them. She asked me why I told him that!! I just said because you did. She got all mad and denied it. I know it was her. He knew it was her. Either that or the pharmacy shorted him on all three of his pain meds but got the non-narcotic ones right! I do not see that happening at the place I have used for 20 years with no problems!
I did not go around her any more. She sent me a nasty letter complaining that I was an awful friend to go around telling lies on her. I wrote back and put her in her place. I even told her that I felt sorry for her kids to have to be raised by a psycho, who only cared about what she could get from others and did not know the meaning of friendship, let alone love as she had proven by her behavior to me, and our friend that was in terrible pain. She also proved it by cheating on her husband, taking any kind of pill that she could get a hold of and staying so messed up that she probably did not remember half of what she had none. But ... I REMEMBER them ALL! She had nothing else to return to that one.
I think I did the right thing in telling David what had happened. (He probably would not have missed them until he ran out before the time to refill the prescription.) I also believe that ending my friendship with Mimi was the right thing to do. I do not know who told who, but I only told David. I would not go around telling everyone else, it was not their business.
What would you have done? Do you think I did the right thing?
12 people like this
28 responses
@serialmommy (639)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I do think that you did the right thing. The only thing that Mimi could have added to your life was stress, lies, and misfortune. And I also think it was right to tell David, as they were his meds, and he trusted you to get them for him, and they are something that he needs. For her to do that to a friend is absolutley horrible and selfish. The fact that she has children makes her a person that you are definately better off not knowing. I don't know how she is around her children, but I would be very concerned and you may want to take it one step further and make an annonymous phone call to Children's Protective Services. The kids deserve a mom who is going to take care of them and be there for them. And if she is so out of it on stolen meds most of the time, there is no telling what she might do to her own kids.
4 people like this
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I think it was right to tell him and count the pills in front of him because he might have thought that it was you who stole the pills. As for her, stealing from a person who is sick and in pain is morally reprehensible and I agree with not trusting her anymore. Maybe if she got some help for her addiction, you could be friends again. If she admits that she did wrong, which is one of the 12 steps anyway.
3 people like this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
9 Apr 07
i think you had done the right thing... stealing is not acceptable for whatever the reason is... if she needs the pills, she can ask for them nicely from David... and not stealing them... and you are doing the right thing by telling David because he might think you are the one who is stealing his pills and not Mimi... if i am in your position, i think it will be very hard for me to be friend with her again and i wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore as she had betrayed my trust...
2 people like this
@Tweety2035 (662)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yes you did do the right thing. And to take it one step further I probably would have offered her some professional help. People like that don't want to admit that they have a problem and they are in denial most of the time. The only thing that you can do is wait on them to decide to get help or do what you already did and just cut them lose. They will soon realize that they lost a really good friend in the end.
2 people like this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
9 Apr 07
This is exactly the same way I feel about it. i see that in hindsight and when reminded the other day about the incident, I wondered if I had done what a friend would have done myself. I let her down too, I think. It was years ago and the last I heard she was no different.
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
If you're very sure about this Mimi, then you're on the right track. David needed his medications and stealing is unacceptable. I wouldn't feel bad about losing my friendship with Mimi though. I don't tolerate that kind of friend. To have her saying bad things about you is a sign that she's trying to save her hide. Just do what you think is right. Losing one friend doesn't mean you will not have any friends anymore.
@steelmoggy (410)
•
8 Apr 07
From what you're saying I think you did was best for your friend, David.
I wouldn't worry about it unduly - Mimi may require some help herself and it's up to her to seek it out. What she cannot do, though, is steal from her friends, especially in this particular manner.
I think this should be an end to it; if she raises it again simply tell her that the only poersn you metioned the missing medications to was David, because he had a right to know. And that you don't wish to have further dealings with her until she gets herself straightemed out a little.
This may seem harsh, but soemtiems people like this rely on other people cutting them slack; when people start being firm with them they will often reconsider their behaviour.
3 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
10 Apr 07
Yes I think you did the right thing , do you still talk to this girl .
Sounds to me that she has a serious problem .
1 person likes this
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I have had people steal my pain medication before and it really sucks! I haven't ever ended a friendship the first time it happened. I usually try to keep my pain medication put up and out of sight and reach of anyone visiting my home. I do this because of having them come up missing. There are people out there who won't just take a couple they will take the whole bottle! I think it is really sad that there are people out there that are willing to put themselves before their friends. I guess that doesn't make them much of a friend, does it?
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
9 Apr 07
LOL I meant even though we were friends she was not the kind of friend we want. You understood correctly. We were friends. I even stayed with her for a week or so when I got evicted. She never showed signs of betraying her friends. I should have known she would because she betrayed her husband countless times.
1 person likes this
@princeworthy (1909)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I guess I misunderstood, sorry. I thought when you said you ended your friendship with Mimi that you were friends. Either way it is best not to have such a person in you life, it can only lead to trouble.
1 person likes this
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
11 Apr 07
I think you had to tell your friend, if for no other reason because he would have expected it was you who had swiped them. It sounded as though he was ok with the situation as far as you were concerned, but was justifiably mad at Mimi.
It sounds like a number of people remember a number of he things this Mimi has gotten up to over the years and they chose this opportunity to talk about what a mess she is that she would steal the medicine of a man with a broken back.
It sounds like the sort of person who is on her way to rock bottom, probably already should have hit it, but hasn't yet. She needs help, but maybe she isn't ready to accept it yet.
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
11 Apr 07
I think if I had wanted them, David would have given some to me, He is a giving soul and would have given his last Dollar to help a friend. That is one reason this is so bad.
One reason I hid my purse was so no one knew he had his meds. I know a few of our friends (then) would have wanted some and he would have run out.
She has not to my knowledge received help to this day.
@janeyre (14)
• United States
9 Apr 07
I think you did the right thing!! It was horrible of her to take his medicine not to mention it is illegal. How selfish!! You were absolutely right to tell David and to cut off friendship with her. David is lucky to have a friend like you.
@us2owls (1681)
• United States
8 Apr 07
I think you did the right thing by telling David and I also think he did the right thing in confronting her because he had to if she found out that you told him. You will be very wise to stay away from this person Mimi. I feel sorry for her children - and wonder why no one has reported her to Childrens Services. Someone needs to keep an eye on her family.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
8 Apr 07
She was manic/depressive, as well as OCD. She sent her kids to foster care at one time to keep them from being taken. She had gotten them back by then, but DCS was still involved. If I thought they were in real danger, believe me I would have called them. the kids were not with her at the time they were staying the weekend at a friends or family members home. I think the DCS workers was visiting them 2 or 3 times a week to help them get back in to a real family atmosphere. I do wish I knew how they are, I really loved those girls and I almost cry to think of what they had to endure from her. I am just glad that they had DCS behind them and a Father that loved them dearly.
@sloanjosiecat79 (299)
• United States
8 Apr 07
first of all i'm so glad i have never had to be a situation like that and ii feel just awful for you.second, i think you were right in letting david know what was going on and calling mimi on her bs. neither david nor you need a friend like that. good on you.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Apr 07
Tammy you did the right thing and I would have done the same as you in this Case
She was not a Friend at all and I am glad you have found that out maybe the hard way but you found it out and you havbe broke the Contact which is exactly what I would have done to
Hugs to you
@GardenGerty (161080)
• United States
9 Apr 07
Yes, Tammy, you did the right thing. It just seems unthinkable that a friend would do that to a friend in pain, but addiction is terrible. You are well rid of the so called friend, because she probably thought that if the loss was detected, you would be accused, so what kind of a friend is she? If she is so outraged she is telling on herself, then more power to her mouth.
@lossforredwords (3620)
• Philippines
8 Apr 07
I want to be honest with you, I know most of your responses says that you did the right thing, I guess you did but there are parts that for me is not right. Maybe just the part that you said it was Mimi stole the meds. I think better say it if you are really 100 % sure that she is the one with visible proof or caught her in the act by others or by you. I know she is not in the right mind because of being messed up but I think in this kind of situation and being her friend you should be more aware of how to save her from being dependent on pills. I know its too much but that is my first impression with the situation, I know you are a good friend as to how you care David but maybe you could do that to with mimi.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
9 Apr 07
There is absolutely no doubt that she took them. I have a funny was of folding down the top of a bag, folding in the sides before rolling it up. It was down in my purse folded when I went in the store. When I came out it was just kind of bunched up not really rolled and was about 2 inches higher. If I had thought then, I would have confronted her with it. I never thought about it until we got to his house. I was sure that no one got in my purse. I could see the closet room from where we were. No one went in that room.
This is why I wrote this discussion. To see if others felt as you do. I am a different person than I was then. Now, I feel bad about it. I think it was a cry for help. I should have been a better friend. But as for getting her out of my life, I still think that was right. There was too much drama, I abhor drama. But maybe if the letter had been different and begged her to get straight. It would have been better for her. I might have even made a difference in someones life.
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
8 Apr 07
That is exactly why I posted this. Now, I would see her as needing help. I feel that maybe I should have handled it by thinking about how much she needed me, rather than how much she was using her friends. I am afraid it was a cry for help and I just ignored that cry. Does that make me a bad friend also? I feel like I may have let her down and that puts me no better than someone like the person I accused her of being.
I wish I could go back as the person I have become, and see it again. I think I would have handled it a little differently.
