Do You Say HELP, When You Need It?

your both very right. And Jersy, i used to feel the same way as you do, to the point i would ask no one for anything, i would do it myself. But now, i stand on my own 2 feet unless there's no way around it, and now that i have seen that helping just makes you better all around, and asking for help likewise, it makes it easier to express my weaknesses. Thank you both.

You make a good point. It's good to stand on your own two feet, but there are times when you simply cannot do it all. It really is okay to seek help.

You know, i commend you on your ability to open up and express the problem you used to have, many people can't say that they had a hard time with this or that, as they have too much of an 'ego' to help themselves, i think you've made a big leap, even if you don't so much have this problem anymore, you still made a step in saying, i had this problem and i overcame it. Kudos to you!

I'm sure I'm not completely over it, but better than before. I'm still a work in progress, but thank you for your kind words.

wow i can't believe they would tell you that they were there to help you and slam a door on your face, how low and rude and disgusting of them! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My problem right now is money, asking for money, and a friend of mine, she's one of my best friends in the world offered to give me some, she says it's because i've been there for her, but it's so hard to take, i wouldn't have asked her if i was dying without it, because somehow i just can't bring myself to do it... The person i did ask, my uncle, because he's shown me that he doesn't care enough about me to give a damn what's really going on or be there for me in any other way, and since he's lent me money before, i figured why not, he should at least help me out a little... Well, now i have stipulations that are impossible for me to fill before i get it, so he's really shown me how important i am to him, and i don't mean this in a guilt trippy way, and yeah it was the wrong way to think when asking him, but i guess i wanted to test how much he cares about me, because he really doesn't show it any other way. As for your brother helping you hun, if you still feel bad about it, even though he's probably forgotten, get him the money back, show him that you respect him for the help he gave you, even if it means giving him 20 dollars a week kind of thing, you know? I've said no it's okay thanks anyway before too, but you know what, it's not your fault your struggling, it's just the way we think, it's engrained into us that life is supposed to be tough, so it is, now if we told our kids, life is easy as a pot of gold, they would be the rich ones at the end of the day. Thanks.

I think that though your independant, and you have achieved so much, sometimes you need to sit back and say - i can't do this on my own, and that's okay, it took me a long time to come to this conclusion, but finally, i feel okay about it, i can still look at everything i've done with pride for myself and my work, but i can also look at the person i am and who i've become with pride because i had the strength to admit my downfalls. Thanks hun.

Your right, it is better to have something fixed than let pride jump in the middle of it.. It's nice that people see this as they get older, though we've all seen those that are even old, and still have more pride than you can shake a stick at, so asking for help it is! Hahaha thanks!

haha yeah... You are right, if it's for you, or personal, it's so hard, and it even hurts somewhat. But if it's for someone else, it's easy done. Takes a big person to say this hun, congrats!

It's so hard, to know you need help, but to know that there's no way your going to ask for a hand, but i think the first step, is admitting you can't do it on your own, and you don't know what to do. And though that can make a person feel pretty low, it shows you who's there to help you, and also that you had the strength (Yes the strength) to help yourself by saying this is the problem, and can i please get some help. I'm trying to be like this, because i think it'll help me grow as a person, and though it's harder than the problem you may be having at the time, it does help someone out. Thanks hun, don't forget, your a sweety.

it seems like the fear of weakness is our biggest problem us women, but in all reality, we're just as strong as a man... i think another one of my personal problems with this is that i worry that people will look at me differently because i had to ask, that they'll look down on me.... But as i said earlier to denmarkguy, life is what you make of it, and truly, it doesn't matter what others think of you, it's what you think of yourself. Thanks.

Thanks, it's an important question i think... I have this problem also, the biggest thing is that i have always done everything on my own without asking for help, so when i do need to ask for help, i feel worthless, like i screwed up big time, and if i can't do this right, what else am i doing wrong, kind of thing... That, and i don't like to bother anyone, so when i do have to ask, i beat around the bush, and i feel even lower for doing that.. Pretty soon, things will be better, i won't have to worry about this problem any more, but i think that i've made the first step to my recovery for finally asking. Thanks for your response hun.

Yes but you and i both know, that this, is NOT usually the case in our every day lives, in society, and in the world.