Do you feel obligated to answer the door or the phone when you're home?
By mmiller26
@mmiller26 (1930)
Canada
October 11, 2007 6:01am CST
I don't. I value my time. I value my privacy. And there are some days where I just don't want to talk to people. So if my doorbell rings or if my phone rings, I just don't answer it.
The problem is that other people don't seem to understand that I want my privacy. If my car is in the driveway, they'll keep ringing the doorbell, because they assume that I'm home so I should answer the door. I've even seen Jehovah's Witnesses peek in the window!
Or in the case of my mother-in-law, if I don't answer the home phone, she'll call my cell phone. And if she can't reach my cell phone, then I must certainly be dead in a ditch somewhere and she'll start panicking and leaving "Oh God! Please pick up the phone!" messages. lol. It's nuts! I'm pretty sure she is.
So, do you pick up the phone if you're busy doing other things and want to be left alone? Do you feel you HAVE to answer the door, even if it's not somebody you want to talk to?
7 people like this
20 responses
@coolmailraj (2460)
• India
11 Oct 07
I do. I do value their time anlong with mine. So If I can reach out to the ddoor or to the phone I usually answer all of them. If in any case this annoyes me( you know some days you just keep getting mails and calls and visitors) I say to them that I am not well and please call me some other time.
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
11 Oct 07
The thing is, I really hate that technology forces me to always be available. People assume that just because one has a cell phone, that they must always be reachable. Or that if I'm home, I'm obligated to answer the door. I'm not. It's my home and if I want to speak to you, I'll answer the door. If I don't, go away. I'm pretty angry when people just show up without calling ahead anyway. I think it's rude.
2 people like this
@Michele21 (3093)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I feel that same way you do!! I don't like it at all when people come over to my house without letting me know first, so I won't answer the door if I don't want to see/talk to them. I hate it when people stand at the door and knock forever and even call out your name...WTF?? Who does that?? I certainly wouldn't, if I go to someone's house I don't even like knocking a second time if they don't answer the door right away, and I never show-up unannounced. I would answer the phone (especially your mother-in-law) and just tell her you are sleepy, not feeling good, busy whatever. And maybe she will get the hint, and she will know that you are not in a ditch somewhere =) That is so funny!!
2 people like this
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
11 Oct 07
I don't mind talking to her when I'm in the mood for talking. But sometimes, I just want to be left alone, or we're having a family outing or something. I tell everyone that my cell phone is for emergencies ONLY, but their idea of an emergency and my idea of an emergency apparently are two different things! So if she doesn't reach me at home, she'll try the cell. And if she doesn't reach me on the cell, she'll keep calling until I finally do pick up, if only to tell her that I'll be home later and will call her when I get back. I hate being a slave to technology and I hate being 'always available'. If you're not dying, or your house isn't burning down, don't freaking call my cell. lol.
I would never show up at someone's house unannounced either. It's just rude to not give notice. I don't like having people in my house to begin with. That's my space and it's private. And if I want to have someone over, I want to have a chance to clean up first. My house definitely looks "lived in" and I don't keep it spotless in case company shows up. (My grandma is that way; I think she's anal).
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I dont always answer the phone if I am busy. Truthfully I'll often check the caller id to see if it is someone I want to talk to or not. I almost always answer the door though if someone knocks. Although that doesn't happen very often. We are new in town. We really don't know to many people yet.What I hate is when you just sit down to do something and then the phone rings.
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
11 Oct 07
Yeah, I hate that too. Especially telemarketers that call at dinner time. I've been a telemarketer and I know that these people don't usually have a choice about when they call, and they're just doing their job. But it is annoying.
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
12 Oct 07
I live on an air force base and don't know anyone - so if the doorbell rings its likely the UPS man. I usually set my cell on mute and hardly anyone has the house phone #
2 people like this
@shanuri123 (126)
• India
11 Oct 07
I always answer the phone. But sometimes when my door bell rings i get irritated. As you said, people don't understand under what situation we will be. I have some neighbours, if they don't have any work to pass time they just ring my door bell. I hate that and i never open the door for them.
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
11 Oct 07
Like I said above, I think it's rude to show up at someone's house without calling ahead first to let them know you're coming. If my neighbor came over and just started ringing my door bell over and over again, we'd definitely have words. lol.
1 person likes this
@BayleighGray (4334)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Ummm, no not really! I feel just like you do, and if I dont feel like answering then I dont. I usually answer my cell and tell who ever it is that Im busy and Ill call them back, specially if its a close friend. Half the time I dont answer the cell if I dont know who it is.
The doorbell rang one morning and I didnt answer it, then I heard what seemed like they were trying the door knob. lol I got pretty angry and yanked it open....lol....why did I do that!?!? It was a "witness" and they were just trying to leave me a booklet or something and was pushing the door I guess to shove it in between the door and the frame. lol
Bay xx
2 people like this
@pendragon (3348)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I in no way feel obligated to oblige anyone with my company,especially if they are on my property.I have an answering machine, and I don't open my door without an awesome reason to do so.
2 people like this
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Our cars are in the garage all the time. If I'm home alone, I never answer the door. That's hubby's job. As for the phone...that's what caller i.d. is for. If I don't know the name or number of the caller...I don't answer it.
1 person likes this
@Mickie30 (2626)
•
13 Oct 07
One of my all time pet hates is someone coming to the door or calling when I don't expect them too. Coming round to the house is worse than phoning, but I espescially hate people like my sister in law phoning because she won't get off the phone for about an hour and no matter how many excuses she makes she always finds time to carry on talking. Once she phoned at about 1 0 clock in the morning and didn't get off the phone till about 3 0 clock. I was so tired. I get on edge when someone is at the door and sometimes do not answer it. My parents annoy me because they just walk in.
@shadowing (308)
• Malaysia
12 Oct 07
Hi Mmiller. Personally, I feel obligated to answer the door and phone when I am home but I don't really do it in fact. Haha. If my house phone rang, I will just let it be as everyone in my house owns our own cell phone. So, I just never make it a point to walk out from my room to my parents' room for that.
However, if it kept ringing for more than 3 times, I guess it is an emergency call so I will answer.
Regarding door bell, I will answer. I don't know why, maybe I know not much people actually know my house and those that know my house will be someone I wish to see, such as my grandparent. Haha.
1 person likes this
@thefriendlyghost (68)
• Canada
11 Oct 07
I don't answer the phone when I recognize the number on Caller ID as one of the three my roommate's girlfriend calls from. She calls like three times a day and he's never here, so I just don't feel obliged to pick up the phone and say "I'm sorry he's not home," three times every day.
There was one occasion where I answered and told her he wasn't home, and then ten minutes later she called again and again I answered. My roommate got home within the next couple minutes, and I exclaimed, "You better call your girlfriend back. She's called every ten minutes for the last twenty minutes!" My friends got a kick out of that.
2 people like this
@brandy78 (159)
• Canada
11 Oct 07
I say no.. I am the exact same way .. nothing drives me more nuts then when people won't leave you alone.. for instance the other day was the first time my Ex was home to see his kids.. it was traumatic for all of us, this one friend I have stopped here to see if I wanted to have coffee so I explained what was going on and told her I would call if I felt like company.. I didnt she showed up anyway so there I am sitting trying to make small take while feeling totally crappy..
I very much like my privacy.. I can be very social but when I want to.. I don't understand why people cannot respect that..
I don't think you should have to answer the door or the phone if you choose not.. sometimes you just want to be alone..
anyway thats my two cents..lol
@angelsmom (58)
•
11 Oct 07
I do sometimes too. If I am in the middle of something like giving my daughter a bath, I won't leave her alone. So if the doorbell rings, or the phone rings it goes unanswered. Alot of time during dinner I will turn the ringer off on the phone just to have a nice uninterrupted meal.
2 people like this
@cblackink (969)
• United States
12 Oct 07
I'm totally with you on this one. I value my time and my privacy very much. If it's an emergency, I have two phones on which you can leave a message. You can email me. Whatever. As far as anyone knocking on the door, it had better be a good reason, not something like " I just wanted to know what you were doing". Am I mean? I often won't answer it because, like you, if it's an unannounced visit, it's probably the Jehovah's Witnesses.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
12 Oct 07
I am sure everybody values their own time and I certainly do. However, this does not mean that I don’t answer the phone or the doorbell. It does irritate me sometime specially when I am lying down after a particularly trying day or having a bath or just watching TV and the doorbell rings or the phone rings. But I just cant stay put, I have to get up and see who the person at the other end is. In case of the phone there is the CLI ofcourse which lets me know who is calling so I can pretty well let it ring if I don’t want to answer it and in case of doorbells, there is the eye-hole through which I see who is at the other end and can open the door only if I want to. Otherwise I would go nuts thinking who was ringing if I did not answer. There may be some emergency and someone close could be wanting help or maybe some relative has to go back in the hour of need just because I did not answer the doorbell. My conscience would not let me rest in peace so as I said, I check and answer only if I want to, but I do go and see who it is.
1 person likes this
@daveisdavid (878)
• Singapore
12 Oct 07
I don't usually answer the door or phone call because I do not want to be disturbed on what I'm doing.
1 person likes this
@MarieJ23 (1040)
• United States
12 Oct 07
To some extent, I truly agree with you that there are really times in which we just want to be alone. We feel sometimes lazy to answer the phone or check who's knocking in the door. However, if it's my family member, relatives or close friends who are on the phone, I would certainly pick up the phone and answer it just to let them know I am ok. Then I will just tell them that I can't be on the phone that long in a very nice and polite manner because I am very tired from work and I will just call them back if I am feeling better already. Or you can just give alibi that is worth believing but make sure you do it in a very nice way.
1 person likes this
@leondias1987 (91)
• India
11 Oct 07
Nope, I used to feel obligated to pick up the phone around a year ago, but now I don't, actually the only time I don't answer the door or pick up my phone is when I am sleeping, otherwise I do. The thing about answering the door is I stay in a single room in a hostel, so if someone is banging on my door I seriously have to get up and answer it, because its very easy for people to figure out that you are in and then its very difficult for you to stuff your head under the pillow and get some sleep when the door is resounding and has a majorly serious change of breaking !!
1 person likes this
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
12 Oct 07
I used to run to the phone to answer it and trip over the kids to answer the door. Not anymore I totally ignore both if I am too lazy to get up LOL. The door is always for the kids (unless I'm exspecting someone) and the home phone is always for my kids or my mom. My cell phone is what everyone reaches me on that wants to talk to me and if I don't feel like talkin it goes right to voicemail. It works for me...some get annoyed but hey everyone needs privacy and to unplug once in awhile. -Amber
1 person likes this
