Instead of complaining, cant we do something?

Dear sherinek, you are very sweet........:)) Yes I know excatly how you feel. This is the most bitter fact of the life which we human beings don't want to accept. Yes we are all the time looking at mistakes of others and open our big mouth critisizing ...blah blah.....without even thinking if we really deserve to be such critics.I absolutely agree with you , if each person will try to change his ownself, the world will be better place to live. It may be too late to change others , but it is never too late to change your ownself, which indirectly will bring change even in people around us. It all depends on, if each one is ready to promise himself, to look at his own faults, before looking at other peoples faults. This needs lot of courage and sacrifice...

dear s...here is a Taoist quote from Deng Ming-Dao from his book 365 Tao Daily Meditations published in 1992 by HarperSanFrancisco...on COMPASSION..."Once you've seen the face of God; you see that same face on everyone you meet."..."Knowing God is the source ot compassion in our lives; we realize that our separation from others is artificial. we are neither separate from other people nor from Tao. It is only our own egotism that leads us to define ourselves as individuals. in fact, a direct experience of God is a direct experience of the utter universality of life. if we allow it to change our way of thinking, we will understand our essential oneness will all things"....stanzi

i am not fond of comparing a thing from another or a time to another time. some aspects change and some aspects remain. it's just a fact we can't erase. as time goes by, changes happen, too. i have seen so many people living their lives as if they don't care about others. they just think of themselves and what is good for them. but i don't compare them to people before. maybe there are also people like this who live years ago so it is not a good idea to compare them. all i do is that i try to be a good person in every way i can. i cannot change other people but i can remain nice. i won't make much of a difference but somehow, i can make some people's lives happier in my own little way. it's not my target to change the world with the things i do. i just wanna touch lives for as much as i can. anne

Some people tend to ignore such because that they worry too much of themselves, but I know myself much that I try not to teach others what to do but simply let my actions speak for my part. We cannot do something about them, but it is US who can make the difference. If they don't listen, then leave them and hope that you somehow has set some examples and made their minds something to think about.

That's because most people can't look past their noses. It is not easy at all. I am trying hard to look at myself before I THINK about criticizing others. If we can all try to cultivate ourselves (and one way is really to stop speaking ill of others), then the world will indeed be a much better place. :P

you are absolutely true.if we are rude,selfish or anything like this then,we should try to remove it.its very tough but yes we can still give a try.its true that giving suggestion is very good but implementing it is very hard.i think its never too late to start something good in life.but this hard fact of life can only be understood by some.trying to change peole around us is a very tough task,rather than trying to change ourselves is pretty easier and thus we can also set an example ot thers like this.not all but might be few can change by seeing us.

i think there is nothing really you can do except by setting good examples for other people ourselves... being the role model for other people so that they can see what we are doing... it takes a lot of patience and determination to do that though... because that is what i am trying to do now... but sometimes i get so annoyed because i am not getting the same treatment from the other person... well, i learn that when we do something, we don't expect other people to do the same thing to us...

I guess other than trying to show by example and mothers teaching their children I guess there is not much we really can do, if anyone has some suggestions I am willing to give it a go... No.1 I would teach people to thank people in appreciation, I think appreciation alone can make people want to be less selfish and think of others...

be patience all will be normal

hmm good topic but isnt it a kind of discussion that will go onb even after we are gone.Well there was a time when i thought we should make people realise their faulkt if they coimmit one by being rtude,harsh,inconsiderate,heartless,selfish.Oh thats a loing list yeh??At times i think its best to avoid,ignore these people but when your child or his/her friends commit these mistakes i check them.So theres no sense to keep our mouth shut.Check our children show them the right path and eventually there will be a diffderence in everyones attitude.And yes never one should forget one own self there are many vices to be rectified in us.

Well there are the obvious things in life like getting involved in the community, public service from time to time, donations. Its minor but it is something. It can also set an example for a few others(maybe more). Then there are lifestyle and belief issues. In this, you are only sovereign on yourself as other people are to themselves. While you can live your life, debate with others and have the attitudes you want, others are going to do the same thing, inevitably with disagreements. Trying to force something will not work, ever. You can convince, you can state your case, in the end its up to the other people around you to make their own decisions. But still, you have the ability to do action and even some words can drive change and action (forums, blogs, alternate news). You've got to be yourself Sheri as does everyone else. But take to heart, other people will be themselves as well. You may change someone, you may get someone to at least think of something else, but you cannot force change. It must happen in the self.

People do what they have learned and let me say I have been exposed to two particular people who, for whatever reason, lived like pigs. That in itself, is bad enough, but the rudeness comes in here...They were allowed to live in a friend of mines house and they had absolutely no respect for her home, her feelings, nothing. Took advantage of her all the time and being that she is a kind, caring soul, she never said anything to them. I then moved into this house and watched what they did, how they acted and how they treated her and was immedately offended. I guess it's all how you view things, how you allow them to affect you and how you either let them slide or be bothered by it. I was raised to be polite, courteous, respectful and most of all, treat someone and their home as if it were my own. I said to these two, on a daily basis, how I witnessed their disrespect and complete disregard for this woman's feelings and her home and nothing...I mean, they looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Some people just don't see anything wrong with what they say or do to others. I am always aware of this for myself and in all honestly, some people (not all) are beyond changing and these two were perfect examples of what NOT to be like or act like...So, I guess the bottom line is, even with a good example to follow, some just don't or won't get it.

May be in our life we often meet something dissatisfied,unfavourable,sad,boring and so on.so we don't avoid complaining about something.To some extend,it's normal.but we can't be complaining too much. You complaining about something to someone will influence someone's good mood.also make her negative. So facing some trouble,we should keep calm,optimistic and try to change a mood,attitude,try to minimize the complaint. Actually,we are very happy compared to people of old days. In fact we haven't many things to complain about.isn't it?

As per my View , why we move to other people. there is rudeness ,selfishness in ourselves(even it exist in small percentage). first of all we have to change ourselves. A person only view the another's rudeness or fault but can't observe its own rudeness.

I think you make a good point. I often hear people complaining about others behaviour when they are guilty of the same sort of behaviour themselves. I think if we make the changes in ourselves that we want to see in others then we get off to a good start. Lead by example.

I don't think we can ever change the people around us... We cant eve start changing ourselves for the better.. and how are we going to do that to others? You know, there are people who like to complain, they see almost all flaws in one person. Those people who tends to complain all the time, i think, are just insecure being - Sometimes the flaws we see in others are the very ones we need to improve on ourselves.

Hi Sherninek, I feel that changing ourselves and teaching it to those around us might be the only chance of change. I mean yes you can be nice and considerate to a rude stranger on the street, but I dont think they notice too much. If they are being rude to begin with, and we are not so much rude in return, they might think they are even more right as they did before. Did I make sense? LOL If your short right back, they still might not get it. Seems like nothing other than teaching our future adults will make a difference. I think older people are just set in their ways. Not saying its not possible, but its difficult! Bay Lay Gray xx

I think it is possible to change people, who respect you. Parents can change their children. Teachers can change their pupils. Friends can change their friends. One side of a relationship can change the other. But without a relationship, without respect, I don't think it is possible, because they think will think that they are the ones that are right.

I do think that without complaint there is no improvement, but saying that I do hate miseries who have everything yet still want more!

before letting somebody change, its more better to change ourselves first. we are not perfect and there really is no constant in this world except to change and be a better and improve person than who you are before. but its hard for someone to change if they really don't want to right?! but at least we are frank and open to telling them their wrongs and bad characters. its better to be true rather than someone who you think they are like that but in fact they are not. just be true and open in anything and everything in this life.