Please people, STOP childproofing your homes!

United States
April 11, 2008 11:36am CST
This is a rant, and purely my personal opinion, read and respond with caution, but please share your thoughts. I am a childcare provider, and a mother of four myself. I have anywhere from 7 to 11 kids in my home any given day of the week. I only provide care for the children of my friends, and share my parental philosophies with them often; however, it never fails to amaze me, the ignorance out there. Mothers, you think putting locks on doors, and safety plugs in outlets, and corner buffers on edges is protecting your children from danger. You are so VERY wrong. You are only avoiding your children's natural tendency to explore. You are also provoking them to open every cupboard, door or curtain in your friends' homes, thus adding to the eminent danger of your child. You are also causing a great deal of frustration to the people's homes you visit, and possibly ruining friendships. Child proofing is the lazy parents answer to teaching your children right from wrong, danger from safety. Its just as bad as drugging your ADD child, instead of helping them cope with their natural personality. Why don't you try to be with your kids more. Get down on their level with them. Teach them about danger, instead of avoiding it. Teach them about safety. Take them to the hospitals, jails, court rooms, fire department, water treatment plant, animal rescue, health department, and others like these???? Spend some more time with your kids, you'll be amazed at how much they will learn and grow. And your friends may stop pulling their hair out every time you grace them with your presence. Thank you for listening.
4 people like this
17 responses
• United States
12 Apr 08
Yup, there is nothing better than good old fashioned caring enough to watch, love, interact and play with your child is there? But why watch them, love them and interact with them when you can just buy them a new toy or video game?
2 people like this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Apr 08
Or stuff a lolly in their gob for some peace and quiet.
1 person likes this
@lisan23 (442)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I think your post is a bit presumptuos. I've child proofed my cupboards and put the plastic handles over a couple of the door knobs in the home. I've also got the outlets protected as well as some of the corners. Why did I do this? Because after several times of being bruised from running into a corner, clearly my daughter wasn't getting it so I protected her from further injury. Is that bad parenting? The outlets are covered because when I was a child I ended up in the hospital after playing with one in my own home when no one was watching. I was 4 but I still remember it - I don't want to do that to my own child. I protect the cupboard that keeps the snacks in it - because my daughter has learned to push a kitchen chair over to the counter, climb on top, and get into it. I can't watch her every minute of every day, so this stops her from getting into things she shouldn't be getting into. I live in the upstairs of a home, my washer is in the basement. I protect the door handle so that when I'm putting in a load of laundry my daughter can't get out and wander into the street. (To be extra careful I also lock the door and take the key with me.) So am I bad parent? I don't think so.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 08
lisan23, I wish you had had more attentive parents. What if your daughter goes to grandma's (or someone's) house and they do not do the child-proofing? You should be working with her daily to keep her safe in the rest of the world. Bad parent? Not at all. Just a different view.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 08
I didn't call anyone a bad parent. I have a few "child protections" up myself, I posted them up the page some. The kind of childproofing I'm referring to, is a knob stopper on every door, locks or latches on every cupboard(this particular family even has the pan cupboard shut off to the kids, and the kids games) They don't get down and help the child learn how to pick up their messes, instead they lock the cupboards, and if one should happen to get in, scold and send out of the room, while they clean up the mess. I've done the latches and locks, and learned through experience that my children learn quicker if they are exposed to some level of danger. They then understand why sometimes when an adult says no its for a specific reason. Other than simply trying to teach a child no means no because I said so.
1 person likes this
@sanell (2112)
• United States
12 Apr 08
INteresting, I thought I was being lazy for NOT childproofing enough. For example, the only thing I have childproofed is under my sink as I have all my cleaners and stuff under there. Otherwise NOTHING is really childproofed at all. I do hang out with my kids and make sure that I explain to them to be careful with going under tables, or actually I do not have a coffee table at all, I just do not want to put that crappy stuff around the edges and really in all honesty, they would just climb all over it, I do teach them to not jump on furniture, not to open the oven door, I constantly talk to them about what is hot and what is too cold or not to open certain drawers etc etc, wow I feel so much better now, because like I said I have one cupboard area in my home that is TRULY childproofed but again it is where I keep all my poison/toxic chemicals and therefore probably good that they can not get into that period!
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 08
Nope, I don't thinkyou're lazy. If you're taking the time to be with your kids, get down on their level, and teach them right from wrong, good from bad, than I'm sure you're an excellent mom! Keep it up.
• United States
11 Apr 08
Amen to that, my children are older now, but i never childproffed my home and I played with them and had continuous confrontations from my siblings on how I should do this or that when they would bring their kids over and I would explain if they would get off their bottoms and tell their kids no and teach them then there wouldn't be the problem of them going under my kitchen sink, grrrr. They are now grandparents and none of them childproof their homes, as now they see and are willing to take time with the children. duhhh
@rpegan (596)
• United States
11 Apr 08
It really is just a lazy form of parenting. Plus, there are some things that children just need to learn the hard way. If you just tell a child not to do something and put barriers in their way, the child really doesn't understand WHY that situation is undesirable. Now, there are some dangers that should be blocked, but there are some lessons that are best learned personally.
• United States
11 Apr 08
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that sees it that way. I was kind of worried when I posted this that I would get all kinds of negative responses. So, thank you for validating me. And yes, there are some things that should be kept away until a child is old enough to comprehend. The lighter fluid for the grill is behind a locked door, as is the fertilizers for the grass, and such. And my knives are kept in an out of reach cupboard. But I'm tired of having to refold my towels every time a certain family comes to my home, and continuously get the kid off the couch so he stops dropping things in the fish tank. AARRRGGHHH
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Apr 08
i would have to agree with you to an extent, when it comes to anything toxic or it is weapons, yes i think it should be locked up, however that is the ONLY time i think that making sure it is child proof. However when it comes to the cupboards or fridges, doors no, i do not agree with it.
@rev1wendy (611)
• United States
11 Apr 08
I house-proofed my children. It is harder and takes a lot of supervision when they are little, but so very worth it in the end!
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 08
Yup, and I am honored that you have carried on some of the teachings that you received.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Apr 08
I know. Where do you think I got the idea from? (wink wink)
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
12 Apr 08
i don't have a child yet... but when i do have one in the future, i don't intend to child-proof my house... you are right by saying that we have to teach them from right and wrong and we have to go to the same level and play with them if we want to teach them the right thing... not by child-proofing the house... it makes the child wondering and stop their imagination and thinking abilities...
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
13 Apr 08
I'm so glad you brought this up. I've been called lazy for NOT childproofing my house. I never did it with my first...and though he was a curious chap, he was curious about all the right things...and that saved me a lot of trouble. My second one is the kind who is curious about ALL kinds of stuff. My house is not childproofed...but I make sure all the bathroom doors are closed when he is around (it's become a habit with us now...and all of us close the door even when we are entering the bathroom just to pick something). It's not like he hasn't got hurt a little...but he's learnt from it...and it also gave me a chance to teach him about things being dangerous and it also gave me an insight into how his mind works and that I need to keep my eyes open and watch out for him. We have an open kitchen and he walks in all the time.....things he shouldn't be touching are kept well out of reach...but he can play with the plastic glasses and pans....and PUT THEM BACK after he's done. Yes, he needs a reminder....but he's only 16 months...and I think that's fine for that age. My older son would sit with a mortar and pestle in the kitchen for hours when he was younger....or a plate and spoon. But the younger one gets tired of the same thing after around 5 minutes. He puts what he has in his hand back and picks up something else. I've had neighbours ask me to put locks to the lower cupboards in my kitchen. There are certain precautions I will take....but childproofing is not an option. Evven though he is allowed to pick up stuff in our kitchen, he doesn't do it when we go to another house.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Apr 08
I so agree with you. I get tired of parents saying "you can't watch them 24 hours a day". As a parent you do have to know where they are and what they are doing. Not knowing is what causes drownings and other accidents. It doesn't end with toddlers either.
1 person likes this
@mflower2053 (3223)
• United States
18 Apr 08
wow 7-11 kids at once. 2 drive me crazy sometimes. I do agree with you I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old. We dont' have every cabinet locked although at times I do wish we would. The only one is the one with household cleaners. My 2 year old is pretty good about everything. She knows that shes not suppose to touch somethings and we do remind her often. My 10 month old is in that exploring stage and wants to pull everything out. I do tell her no for things like the dvd player she found the open and close button lol. Hubby gets upset when she digs but I let her and then just pick it up when shes finished with it. She gets bored with it after awhile and goes off to something else. I do find that putting toys in a bag has helped out. I have several bags with toys in them and I let them pick each a bag and I try and switch it up so they don't get bored with the toys. Makes for easier clean up also. Nice discussion.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 08
It's parenting made easy, or lazy parenting. If there is less for the child to get into, it is less for the parent to do. I never child proofed anything when my son was little and look he's still alive. lol. Yes it takes some patience because when a child is young of course they are interested in everything and it takes you telling them no over a hundred times and moving them away from where they should not be. but they do get to know not to touch harmful things. Child proofing your home is only gone to lead them getting more and more interested in this stuff they are not allowed to have, especially when they go to someone elses house who isn't child proofed. There is no need for child proofing if one is actually paying attention to their young child like they are suppose to be.
1 person likes this
@mychattime (1013)
14 Apr 08
I must admit that i did use a few child proof methods like some of the kitchen cupboards were child proofed and a couple of sockets but obviously our child knows the difference between danger and safety. Hes nearly 5 and has learnt by many of his own errors in fact even made the same mistake again! He's done the usual things like trapping his fingers in the drawers banging his head on corners and seeing me harm myself by burning myself in the kitchen etc. I agree with you in the respect not to wrap them up in cotton wool as that does generally lead to trouble and they dont learn from their mistakes!
1 person likes this
@tessah (6617)
• United States
13 Apr 08
a very GOOD philosophy to live by really.. ive always felt the same. the only "child proofing" i did when i had my kids, was the socket caps, and the one door under the sink where i keep all the cleaning stuffs had a latch on it, just on the off chance i had to go pee, and they went running around with paperclips or had an urge to drink lysol. ive always kept medicines up on top of my fridge so that wasnt a worry anyway. and by the time they were 3, and comprehensive of "danger" they were well familiar with Killer-Watts who lived in the walls and not to play with sockets or hed hurt them, and the definition of POISON. i still even now watch my oldest who is now 19 years old use caution everytime she plugs or unplugs anything ..;chuckles;..
1 person likes this
• Canada
12 Apr 08
I cannot believe what I am reading here OMG!!!! SO would you rather your child take your keys because it's not something you have quite had the chance to teach them and they take those keys and put them in the light socket. I can bet on my life you would change your views on it then. How about one morning you wake up and your child has figured out how to unlatch the door and has gotten outside and hit by a car? what then? Now I agree with the ADD comment BUT parent that use safety locks and such are teaching their kids that it's not for them because it is locked. Thats the whole point. Just because you had all the time in the world to teach your kids(and might I add probably had good natured children) does not mean that everyone else can do all these things. Most parents have to both work in order to afford anything in life. How can you sit there and say they are lay because they are working to provide for their family. And if you say you never said that well you may as well have because parents that have to work to provide for their family therefore they do not have as much time as you do to teach their kids these simple things. I lock up my movies and game systems and my kids both learned that you don't touch they do not touch at other peoples houses. When at other peoples houses you teach your children to repect their home not just not to touch everything geepers
• United States
12 Apr 08
I'm going to have to start another post to share all the "horrible" things my kids have done, or gotten into, just for you to read to know they are not "good natured" children. I don't believe such a child exists. They are born curious and rambunctious. It is our job as parents to help them to learn how to control those natural tendencies. My kids have made their share and more of messes an catastrophes. But my personal parental philosophy is that a child learns through their mistakes much more effectively than being told to follow orders. No, I would not rather my child get electrocuted, come on, I'm not a heartless moron, be real. My keys have a place that they belong. And since my kids learned to crawl and stick objects in holes, they have been taught to stay away from outlets and sockets, and exactly why. We watch educational programming all the time, and they've seen from a very early age what electricity can do to a person. From the hospital shows that show burn victims, to the science shows that experiment with things. The lazy way out, would be to plug the hole and say no no. My way takes much more effort, an not necessarily more time. I work outside my home, sure its only part time now, but there was a time I worked two full time jobs. Did I mention I'm in college? And did you read that I am a child care provider? I can't have my eyes on 11 children all at one time. But I know I don't have to with my kids, because even if they do get into something they shouldn't, or some type of catastrophe occurs, they know what to do. It's these other kids who aren't being taught that I have the issue with. Did I mention that this mother had been a stay at home mom for 5 years? She had plenty of time. Did I mention she's my best friend, and hates the fact that she takes the easy way out, she admits it. So get off your high horse and spend some quality time with your kids.
• United States
13 Apr 08
I'm sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention. And my intention for this discussion wasn't to start a battle of wits over parental philosophies. That's why I started it with a warning to read and respond with caution. This started as a RANT about a particular situation I am facing at this time. You made it personal in your response. My point here is about the difference between merely plugging and blocking things and trying to teach a child no means no cause I said so VS taking the time to educate a child about the dangers, so they can KNOW why things are not safe. If you tell a kid no, it is his natural response to try to figure out why. So blocking and locking forbidden things off, without any kind of reason, only encourages the child to explore those things when they aren't locked up. My second point, brought out by responses, is that quality time with your child helps you to understand them more. And the more quality time you spend with them, the more a person will realize that just about everything is a learning experience for a child. Maybe not always right from wrong, but non-the-less some sort of growth process. My parenting style is not the only right way to go. Every family is different, with different strengths and weaknesses, different living situations, and different faith beliefs. Again, this was a rant about a specific situation I am facing right now. And I also commented that the mother I'm referring to, admits she takes the easy way. And she hates it and wish she could do something to change it. As posting this discussion, I was hoping to share this with people with an open mind, and maybe enlighten some of those feeling the same way as my friend, or encourage some feeling the same as me. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it.
• Canada
14 Apr 08
Well I wasn't personally offended and some of the things your saying I totally agree with BUT I was just trying to point out that not all people see these safety things as a lazy way and for people to just jump and say its lazy no matter what they think isn't really making anyone want to stop using them. I myself only use the locks for cupboards as I said before because I don't want my kids getting into cleaners and in my opinion it's the same as putting your ornaments or whatever you don't want them touching way up high out of their reach. I participated in this discussion because I wanted to not just because I don't agree. I have not agreed with alot of discussion on this site and have not participated in tons because of it. I was giving my point of view as everyone does on this site.
1 person likes this
@mikekire (146)
• Nigeria
12 Apr 08
Where is the right of the child? where is freedom nd where is parental guidance. Don't rear kids if you cannot care for them. Teach them and let them have their freedom
@cher8558 (425)
• Canada
15 Apr 08
I'm sorry, but a child can be out of your site for a mere minute and get into so much trouble. Mom's are usually pretty good at being right there with their children, but you can't tell me that there weren't times when you went for a pee or had to do something and your child was out of your site for a minute. That is just long enough for them to get into the bleach or other things. Child proofing is just added protection for when you aren't right there right then. And it happens. You can't tell me it doesn't. Telling people to stop child proofing their homes is not a smart thing to do. This is just my opinion which we are all able to express. Mom of 3 Cheryl
• United States
15 Apr 08
If you read the entire discussion, you would know that I'm not criticizing all forms of childproofing, and that even I have the chemicals behind locked doors, or at least out of reach. Stuff does happen. My complaint is the parents who ONLY childproof their child's environment with no teaching or allowing the child to explore under supervision. This leads to more trouble than no childproofing at all. I don't child proof my home, I house train my children. Understand?
@Rhombus (356)
• South Africa
24 Aug 17
You know, I never saw it from this point of view. You are absolutely right. Providing a safe learning environment, should mean guidance not avoidance.