Have you always been there when a friend needed you?
By dolce_vita78
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
Philippines
April 28, 2008 11:01am CST
Have you always been there when a friend needed you? If not, what was your excuse?
I always have tried to be there when a friend needs me. It's one way to show them that I care. It's one way of showing them my concern. However, there are instances when I can't be there for a friend who needs me. I need not really find any excuse as I let them know my reasons... real reasons at that.
There were instances in the past when I needed a friend and in most cases they come to my rescue. But there were times when they did not. I have been hurt quite a few times. Not because they were not there for me but because I found out that they lied. Like there was a time, a couple of years ago, when I was really down and called a friend. I wanted to talk to her so bad as I knew she was the best person that I can talk to when it comes to that issue I was confronted with then. She said she can't come see me because she did not feel well and so she had to stay at home. What I did was to go out and meet up with my boyfriend instead. While in the cafe, I was telling my boyfriend about my problem and he signaled me to stop talking and pointed out the window. There, I saw the friend who said she was sick. She was with her two cousins walking in the rain. Yeah, she wasn't sick after all. I do not want my friends to feel like how I felt that day so I do not really make up some excuses. I do not want to lie just to be caught in the end and I might just risk my relationship with them.
How about you?
8 people like this
22 responses
@thuynhu (661)
• United States
28 Apr 08
I want to say that I'm always there for my friends, but I know I haven't. Things happen to where I can't always be available. Especially when I was in Korea for 15 months. The time difference over there made it difficult for me to be able to be there for my friends that try to always be there for me. But I know that they understand my situation. And know that if I could I would always be there for them. I understand when they can't either. People just have things that goes on and stops them from being able to help someone else. If you're not in the right state of mind there's no way you could help your friend, you need to fix yourself first. Anyways, I will continue to try and be there at the right moment of my friends needing me.
2 people like this
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
28 Apr 08
If I was that friend, I would have told you I have other plans that day and I would catch up with you later. I don't get people that feel they have to lie to get out of being around you. Just tell the truth. I would take a blunt "I don't want to" a lot better than lying about the situation. I feel like if you have to lie to me, you are not a true friend in the first place.
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
2 May 08
MOst of the time I have been there but have missed out on a few occasions when my best friend has needed me when she lost her grandmother. I was in Samoa at the time and couldn't afford to go home to be with her in New Zealand. I called and emailed her and sent her $$ and flowers but wished I was with her by her side. I know how important her grandmother was to her since she practically raised her.
@wondericequeen (7876)
• Hong Kong
1 May 08
I try my very best to be there for my friends just like they try their best when I have some issues in my life. I think when I call someone a friend, I also take up a certain responsibilities and it would be best if I act up to it, otherwise it would be totally meaningless to call someone "friends"!
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
1 May 08
it's always i'm alone. sometime when i felt bad and down no one of my friends come to talk to me even i am expecting them to come. i am upset to some of my friend. my revenge i never help them on their projects. lately i forgive them when they ask a favor that no one can help them.
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
1 May 08
of course i am. even though when some of my friends needs me and i can't come to them personally i just talked and texted them all the time so even though i'm not in their side, they would still feel that i'm always there to comfort them
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
29 Apr 08
Like you I always try to and if I can't then I will also tell the true reason why
I think it is awful when lies are told to a Friend like that as I know it does Hurt I have been hurt many a time to in the past and recently again
I hope you spoke to that Friend about it as to me that is not being a Friend at all
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
29 Apr 08
Yes I have always been there , when my friend needed me .
I have some good friends and we feel happy to help each other in bad times...
thanks !!!
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
Hi dolce_vita! yes, as much as I could and as best as I can. That is why, I too am sometimes get hurt when friends are not there at my lowest point. It makes me feel so devastated when there are times that a phone call can not even be spared for me. It hurts when you give so much and sometimes, when you are in need no one is there. Just my thoughts dear friend. Take care and have a nice day! 
@bagumbayan (2705)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
A friend is a friend no matter what. But sometimes, your friend knows your problem again and maybe shes thinking her advice was not followed by you. Or as you were saying she is just saying she is sick because she has some other commitments which she cannot forgo. Give her another time. If by next time she do the same just dont ask her any help. She is not your friend anyway. Dont bother about her, you can find other friend who can help you out.
@jesbellaine (4139)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
Yes, I always make it to the point that I can be there whenever my friend needed me. I love them so much like a family and I can't bear not seeing there or be there when there is an important event or thing happening to them. I am glad that so far I am still there when they need me. Cheers!
@amitpuri (457)
• India
29 Apr 08
Hey for me the friend are the lifeline and every time they want my help i am always with them giving them full help to my best.In my friend circle there are about 12 guys and we all live for each other and every moment we spend together and we always have the nice time together but no body ever hesitated to help me when i needed so as even i helped them always. whatever is the excuse you are having is the other thing but keeping your excuse aside and be with the friends in the problem is called the friendship that is the thing i have learnt from my friends and you are right at your place, you can't force anybody for anything you can't help. You should realize that they are not your friends and they are with you only for the good times not for the bad time so they are with you for the time pass not for the friendship.
@adoremay (2065)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
If needing me means, she needs a person to talk with, share with, cry with, laugh with, hug with, and etc. Yes you can count on me! Presence is the best gift I can give to my friends, family, love ones, and person I care. Because time is very precious, sharing my time, my precious time to a precious someone is worth spending. I make it to a point, really to be visible to someone who needs me.
@roniroxas (10559)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
i have no excuse my life right now is enough for them to understand me if i can not be around. if my friends really wanted my help they know where to find me. i cant go where they are but they are the one going to me if they need me.
in your situation if that happened to me, i will go out of the cafe and call my friend and tell her "wow, so walking under the rain means your sick?"... now she should read between the lines that our friendship is over. not worth to be a friend.
@nengs10 (3180)
• Philippines
29 Apr 08
To be honest, I am not always there when they needed me. Well, I always try my best to be there for them but my work and other stuff really stopped me from being there with them. Anyway, whenever I have time, I also make it sure that I make up for my lost time.
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
29 Apr 08
I have to agree with you, as far as the lying part. I'm dealing with that type of situation as far as lying goes with my own daughter. I hate it! It has put a strain on our relationship, and I don't think she even understands that she has done this, because she is putting the blame on me! But I can't tolerate lying. Especially when people tell one lie to cover another lie and then eventually they don't even really know what is the real truth.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Apr 08
I have always tried to be there for my friends and if I was not
it was because I had a legitmate reason that I could not be there.I never lie to my friends as I do not want to
be lied to either. I believe in the golden rule do unto others as you would have them do unto you. and I try to live by
that.
@gratitude (181)
• South Africa
29 Apr 08
I have 4 lifelong friends (going back from 26 - 39 yrs) There are two out of these 4 that I do drop everything and run for. I am recently taking care/helping out at one of these friend's home while she lies recovering from major surgery (unoperable cancer) in hospital. My life my home etc has been put on hold right now. My dear friend is gravely ill and not even near ready for chemo to start. I will be at her side right through the chemo too. To be a friend is a 2nd me, and its my choice/want/need/desire - not my duty - to be there for her and her family through this horrific time.
@Mpath02 (8)
• United States
29 Apr 08
in my experience i've been there for my friends more than they've been there for me. i seem to attract all the needy ones, and i would always be on the top of the list of people to call when they're in trouble. for a time i didn't mind. but after some time i started to feel drained emotionally from having to sympathize so much. i'm still looking for a balance.
