Would you allow your partner to choose clothes you must wear

Mmmh, looks like you completely gave up the way you used to dress outside the home. That must feel like losing your identity. And you being torn about this doesn't seem like you feel comfortable or happy with the situation. I think you guys may need a frank talk about how to compromise in the situation. I don't think it's just your husband's believes and his culture that makes him want you to cover up. Jealousy, the fear of losing you to another man, other man being able to check you out, things like that very much come into play, especially when somebody comes from a culture, where women are supposed to cover up for that very reason. It's also a statement of you are his and only his to look at. For the sake of your marriage and to show your love to him, you have tried to submit yourself to those stricter standards of clothing. It's obviously not really working out for you. I hope it won't make you resent him for this in the long run. Marriage is a compromise on both sides, unless he still believes in the wife's complete submission to him, too. Try and find a compromise in the clothing issue, a style that is comfortable for you to wear, easy to handle, yet still decent enough to pass his apparently high standards of how much you have to cover up. Good luck!

Yes I would allow my husband to choose clothes for me to wear. But normally we would discuss what to wear. We have quite a number of same identical t shirts so sometimes we would wear the same - couple wear!!!. My husband has good taste in combination of colors so he would advise me sometimes.

For me even were already married I want her to be still she. I met her that way,why should I mold her with what I want. She still have her own right to choose her clothes. You got married cause you love the person, and when I met her I already accepted her for what she is. I still have a life even were married. I still have my own identity. I am not her property to follow what she wants. I still believe in respecting her opinion, ideas, and life she wants to be. Maybe our culture and tradition are not a like even our religion. But we still have a life! I still have my own identity by loving me accept me for what I am. It's a big NO. Have a nice day!

If I were to marry a man of a different culture than mine with entirely different beliefs, then this would have been a discussion we had and a problem we solved long before I ever agreed to marry him. If you marry someone from another culture then you both kind of have to compromise a bit. Personally, I am such an independent person that I know I could never submit to such a lifestyle so I would not even get into such a relationship. This is tough becuz you already married him. you must have known his expectations...right? You two really need to discuss this honestly and maybe with the help of a councellor. On the flip side...he fell in love with you as you dressed prior to marrying him...right? What's so different? You are still the same girl he fell in love with. wow...what a tough spot. I know that I would not submit. I don't control someone and I won't be controlled.

hi pinkytabor Is this a cultural thing because for me nobody 'tells me what I can wear and cant, not husband, nor family.' I live in the good old USA where we are still free, and women do not have to cover themselves up. Nor do they have to let their husbands dictate everything they do. This is 2008 not 1908 and we are equal partners, not chattel.You must not lose who you ate.I loved my husbandwith all my heart but I would never let him dictate to me what I must wear. We are free 'here.

My husband doesn't really meddle with what I want to wear when we go out. But he will comment if something's doesn't look good.

Every relationship is different and I wouldnt dream of telling anyone else what to do, I can only speak for myself and how things look from here. To me, the definition of good manners is not behaving in a way that will cause embarressment to those I am with, so if my husband was embarrassed by anything I wore, I would certainly consider altering it. However, we would never have been together this long if we werent pretty compatible, so I'm certain that he would be happy with me wearing anything that made me feel good. Just as a suggestion though, I'm a shade concerned that you don't feel completely comfortable with the balance between what your husband wants and what you want though. Is he aware that you feel a little stifled? Is it possible that if you modelled in the privacy of your own home some of the things you would like to wear out on the street, that he might feel happy with a slightly wider choice than you feel you currently have? Happy relationships are important, so is being happy in your own heart, maybe a minor adjustment could be made to get both right?

For me, it really depends. I'm way too headstrong and independent really let someone else boss me around and constantly tell me what to do, wear or so. I'm my own person. However, if they made a suggestion and wanted me to wear something one time or something because they enjoyed it, I may think about it and maybe do it. I just wouldn't do it constantly. The relationship would get too old in my opinion to be constantly told what to do. I have way more important things to do than listen to someone else tell me what to do, wear and say all day every day.

In my case, my husband's approval of clothes i am going to wear is important. he has a conservative attitude but he knew what clothes i like to wear. It does not matter to him if i wear sexy clothes as long as I am with him and not alone..lol. Sometimes, if i like to wear the clothes that i like and he does not like decision is still with me..haha..but i knew when my husband say NO and I respect that.

hi pinky, i went to shopping with my partner. My partner only choose my dress and all. take care.

yes, i allow my partner to choose clothes for me....because he knows a lot in fashion (correction he's not a gay!!!)he knows,what's in and what's best to a person.He also knows what the clothes for different occasions. but ofcourse I ask him for only some suggestions what's the best to wear...I'm also think before i follow his sugggestions (ofcourse if im comfortable on the clothes he want for me...)

No way. You should be able to wear whatever you want whenever you want.

Every relationship has its own meaning and importance in everyone's life. Letting your better half to chose clothes for you is not a problem, but i would rather say, i would make him confident on my decision of choosing clothes which will not be against his respect and esteem. I will make sure that the outfit i wear is the most decent, respectable and appropriate as per situation. In anyways they have full right to put forward their thoughts in case they don't like any outfit of yours. :-)

No I wouldn't. But I would not have even dated a man that held those beliefs. I have no problem if he says he likes me in a certain piece of clothing, would I mind wearing it for him if we go out or something. But I couldn't never let him dictate what I was wearing all the time outside or in. But that is my belief system. I think it would also depend on his resoning. If it's his belief system, such as the Muslims believe that woman should be covered, then I guess I would have known what I was getting into before even dating him. If it's just jelousy or something, I really can't abide by that. My husband was super jelous when we first got together, but he never tried to dictate what I wore. So I waited it out and he eventually outgrew the jelousy thing. I think after 9 years of marraige he realizes that if I end up leaving him, it's not going to be for another man. But if you really love him and that's the only thing he wants you to do then it's your choice. Over real love, or wearing "smart" clothes, I'd pick love anyday. If he has other control issues though that's a whole other thread.

Personally, I would not let my husband choose my clothes. I am too independent to do that. If he does not love me for who I am, he should find someone else he can control. I was in a marriage for 12 years where my husband did his best to control my life. I will not live like that again. I was miserable and ended up losing myself in the bargain. You can not make yourself over into what someone else wants and be happy. You have to be yourself. I know cultures in other countries are different than in the US, but it still holds true. How happy are you? It sounds like you are not happy since you have forgotten who you are. And, I would guess that you will not be happy again until you start making your own decisions and find yourself again.

hey there pinkytabor,I allow my partner to choose the clothes I wear,sometimes like when attending his functions but not ALL the time.But I believe what makes him happy makes the relationship work.

This is one of the reasons my wife and I split, I wanted her to look a certain way and vice versa. NOt that she had to be as covere up as your husband ask of you but so many times I would want to go someplace nice and she would dress as if she was adutioning for a music video or something. Really sheahs no sense of deceny or at least she didn't once our first child was born, she really changed a lot from when we first met. She though I was too uptight and needed to change. I would say that people should be able to wear what they want and not let other decide for them, it just a nother wrench in gears of marriage.

No, I would not do the same for my hubby. Over the years I have noticed the way I have changed on certain things with being married, I notice that I adapt to his way of thinking etc and losing myself in the process. One thing I will not do is allow him to also choose my clothes for me too that would just be too much. He has never asked me too either, the only comment I get occasionally would be "have you been up town like that?" and I will just say "yep".

I would say I am lucky with my partner because he like choosing clothes for me and his taste is same as mine. I wouldn't mind my partner choose clothes to wear to some occasion because actually i feel more comfortable that I look good. But abcourse your situation is different, I reckon in your situation he should be able to say "if you don't like to wear that one find something else" but do not force you to wear which you don't like.

Hi, I understand, this is ofcourse a difficult situation. All this while since your childhood you were grown and your mindset asks you to do what you want and what you feel comfortable. Try to discuss with your husband how uncomfortable it would be for him if you have to choose for him his daily wear or clothes everyday. May be you are doing this because you love your husband but at the same time you are effecting your individualism, your likes etc. If I was in your situation I would never compromise. Its you who has to feel comfortable dear when you wear clothes.