How do you talk to your older child about Santa?

ive got a near 20 year old who ive still not sat down formally and told there isnt a santa. why? cause even *I* still beleive. she asked me once, and i told her if she didnt beleive anymore hed stop coming. she never brought it up again, nor did i. and i will do the same with my littlest one as well. never really understood the concept of purposefully sitting children down and wrecking the magic of things. it was never done to me.. maybe thats why i still feel it.

If he is asking then it is time to tell him. Otherwise you would be lying to him to keep letting this continue. Tell him he is not allowed to tell anyone else and if you find out then Santa will not come anymore.

i don't have a child yet at the moment and i never believe in santa at all even since i am still a child... my parents never tell me about santa when i was still a child and i know all the time that whatever gifts i receive during christmas are from my parents and not santa... so i guess i will not be telling my children about santa as well in the future... take care and have a nice day...

I never told my kids that there is no Santa. - of course there is !!!!! :):):) - And in our house even though we all know how it works, it's still Santa. When my daughter told me she knew all about Santa at some point - I think she was 10 -, we talked about the fact that people believe in what they like to believe and what brings us happy feelings, and in fact, Santa can be anyone. Anyone that remembers us during this holiday time. THe same principle. Someone that knows us , knows if we've been naughty or nice, and that wants to offer us something to make us happy. It's this principle that I call Santa. My daughter thought about it and decided that she will always believe Santa, be it whoever. So it's Santa for us. And it's still magical in the sense that we all try to make this time special to each one of us.

I would just leave it be. Neither confirm or deny it. The kids will come up with their own conclusions in due time. I have 3 kids, the oldest of whom no longer believes in Santa. She started getting the idea from kids at school and then I think she caught me bringing the gifts upstairs to wrap. That was when she was 11. Being that she has 2 younger siblings she was advised to still act like there was a Santa. Last year she helped me shop for them, which was nice for both of us. I think it made her feel important and makes the secret more worth keeping. For me it helps because the siblings often know more about what each other like than the parents do! My 11 year old started hearing things at school about 2 years ago, but she came to the conclusion herself that there IS still a Santa because Mom and Dad can't possibly afford all the gifts! This year is a little tricky. All of a sudden she's questioning why all the gifts are from Santa and none from Mom and Dad. So now she's writing 2 lists. One for Santa and one for Mom and Dad! (Now I'm going to have to label one from Mom and Dad! LOL) The youngest is 7 and still adamantly believes in Santa. Thankfully we don't have a problem with siblings spoiling the secret. Good luck with yours!

I tried to get it to be more of a spiritual thing with my daughter but she is having none of it. There is a santa and thats that. I guess we as parents have gotten so skilled at being santa that it is impossible to convinse the younger ones. I may explain it when we get to that age. Maybe something like, santa is in your heart. He is the spirit of giving. He is actually a real person called st. nicholas and there is a real story behind it so that may be an option. If you choose to explain it, you can do it in a way that makes it seem like he was real and this was not all made up. Also, he is old enough to understand that he is privilaged to this information but that it would hurt the feelings of his siblings very much and christmas is all about giving and good feelings so he needs to help keep the little ones spirits going. He may even enjoy getting in on the trickery! Not like, in a bad way but like helping to keep this secret that makes his little siblings happy. If he accuses you of lying or soemthing, just tell him the st nick story and tell him that you were giving in the spirit of st nick. Hope this helps, merry christmas!

My son was 7 when I told him. His father had just walked out a few months prior, and I wasn't really sure what kind of Christmas we were going to have or whether there would be much of anything under the tree that year. Things did work out okay though, and we had a very nice Christmas afterall, but I don't regret telling him the truth. I really hate the post-holiday bragging at the bus stop after Christmas. Things are not the greatest around here and alot of families are out of work, I'm sure the situation is not much better in other places. Some kids are lucky to have a tree or get a gift come Christmas morning, and it has nothing to do with "Santa" forgetting about them, or whether they were "bad" or "good", or that they're loved any less. To me the real meaning of Santa doesn't have anything to do with a man dressed up in a red suit with a sack on his back and an endless supply of toys to fill your Christmas list with...the real meaning is giving, and the feeling you get in your heart when you do. That's the magic of "Santa".

My daughter is 8 and she is questioning this year too. I told her that I believe in Santa. She has 3 older brothers and when they didn't believe anymore, I made sure that they knew it was important to not spoil it for their younger siblings. I would let him beleive for this one last year. Then next year if it comes up again you can make him your helper. My 20 yr old called my 8 yr old and asked if she thought santa would be able to find him in his new house. She said she wasn't sure, so he needs to come and sleep her on Christmas Eve. The older kids actually help keep santa alive in our house.

As a child, my first and biggest disappointment, came when I realized my Parents had been LIEING to me about Santa Claus. I was 8 years old when my school friends informed me of my parents Dishonesty. Until this time I believed (with all my heart) my parents were completely Honest, and I had been trusting them with my life. This had such a horrific effect on me that I would never permit my wife do the Santa thing with our 4 boys. Its just a Horrible Horrible Lie. For God's sake don't subject your children to this conspiracy of Lies!

What you could do is explain the story about the real Santa because wayyy back in the day there really was a Santa. He took gifts to people that were in need and he was known by his generosity. He was sainted by the Catholic Church and was called the patriot saint of gifts. To everyone that was very magical. It was up to us whether or not we needed to keep his memory alive by doing what we do as parents every christmas. No one really understands the real meaning behind Christmas when they are a child it's just gifts, gifts and more gifts. We are actually lying to our children and when we find out at an older age that there is no real Santa Claus, it's betrayal we are feeling. That goes for the easterbunny as well. Feel it in your heart on whether you think you should tell your oldest boy the truth or try to keep the dream alive. If you do plan on telling him the truth you could get him to help you wrap presents and call him one of your little elves? Good luck!

I still remember my children fully believing the existence of Santa Claus until their friends their age who does not believe in Santa took away that happiness Santa gives.They were that same age when they hinted that I was their Santa.But they were still wondering how I kept them and how Santa knew what they want.Iknew the real Santa was my mother when I was 7 but I did not tell her because I'm still enjoying as well as my young sisters and a brother the gifts that she was giving us.I pity those who did not feel the magic of Santa.

I think there comes a time when a child reaches a certain age they should know the truth. There is ways to tell your child without allowing your younger ones to know. Also teaching your child the gift of giving and why its important to be thankful for what you get and not be upset for what you don't get. I know you feel like some of his childhood is slipping away but they all grow up sooner or later.

YOU KNOW WE ALL WON'T TO BELEAVE. when my Children was about 7/8 I set the oldest one down and explained to her. now my oldest is a boy. (but my oldest in keeping a secret is a girl.) that the gift of giving was in the heart.so Santa is in that Gift. this is a secret between just us. until the other Children get older.ok? there's men that's dressed up as Santa. because young children don't understand. they just won't to be Happy. but, yes we do buy the Gift's we listen to you all year,and then figur out which one's we can aford. and that's what you get. But I know your responable enought to keep this between us. and help me to suprise them. until we can tell them.is it a Deal. my Doughter felt so much closer to me. cause it lead to a bond.and later on the other Children were let in on our little secret.Marry Christmas Mommy Santa.

according to me if i was at your place i would like to do that he is elder and he should understand what i am doing we don't interfere in his own life he might be thought u r not like him..

I believe when a child is old enough to question and say he doesn't believe he is old enough to know the truth, I would tell him not so spoil it for his siblings who still do believe though.

Oh wow! I can't remember when I first figured it out for myself but I did finally fess up a couple months ago to my oldest dauther who Santa really was. I figured since she was 25, married and had 2 children of her own, it was time. The irony is....she already knew. GO FIGURE!!! MERRY Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!

Why You talking about lied Just leave it. have a nice day.

I am not sure why parents are so torn about the Santa myth. When you first started lying to them you knew one day they would find out and they would find out. I realize it was cute to pass on the myth when they were little but over 9 is a little old to continue without the truth. Unfortunately he will realize you have been punishing him for lying all this time and then finds out you have been doing it to him for years. Do not be surprised if he wonders what else you have been lying about. Maybe it is time to read him the letter "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" that appeared in the newspaper over a hundred years ago. http://www.barricksinsurance.com/virginia.html