Dont tell me how many children to have!

HI. I would be very discusted also with people telling me how I should live my life and how many children I should have. It up to you and your husband, none of anyone else business. I am the only child, and my daughter has one child and she is not having anymore, which is her decission and I accept it. Its good you got this off your mind, instead of holding it in. You and your husband live your life together just how yous want to, Its your life together not theirs. Maybe those people are not happy with their own life and they have noting better to do than interfer in others. I would just walk away when someone would say something to me that I did not feel it was anyone eles business. It may be hard to not say something to them, but its best to just walk away. More likely they will go find someones else to start telling them how they should live there life. I hope you feel better now that you got this off your mind.

you are right you can have as many kids as you can afford thats your life no one can tell how many kids to have.you should tell them it,s you and your husands life.i hope you feel better soon don,t get mad tell them how you feel.

I too get irritated when people comment negatively about our only child. I know the reason for my irritation though…it’s a guilty conscience. I have been a single child of working parents and I know how difficult life is for a child to be alone at home (or with hired help) all day, waiting just for the parent to come back and hug. Now I am doing the same to my son, albeit he stays with his grandparents after school and I pick him up after office. But I know he doesn’t like it, I know he craves for company his own age and I just sometimes I wish I had taken the plunge the second time. Siblings have a lot to teach to each other and it’s a way of growing up I have never known myself. However, two is the max with me! But then, I don’t really grudge people what they say…everybody’s entitled to their own opinion, I just don’t let that affect me in any way.

You should say," at least I don't have 14 kids!!" :) No, i would be upset about this too. My girlfriend has one child and I tell you that she is so close to her daughter. At times I envy their relationship. I have 4 children and am close to them too, but there is a different connection between the child and the parents when they are the only one.

I can understand where you are comming from. I am one of those families that has the 8 kids. Three biological and 5 step kids. And yes we are nuts...LOL. You have the right to have as many or as little amount of kids. There is absolutely nothing wrong with only having one child. The people that make these remarks are simply wrong in doing so. It is all your own preference. Enjoy your one child, because it is a bit of a struggle to have more than one. But also my kids do not compete for my attention.

Yuk,That would bother me too. I grew up an only child and theres nothing wrong with having only one child. They get all the loving attention in the world. I hate when people make comments like that. Keep there comments to there self I say its none of there business how many kids you have!

i don't have any children yet at the moment and i also don't like other people to tell me how many children i should have... i mean, it is none of their busines... personally, i only want to have 2 children max and i don't want to have more than that because i don't think i can handle it... but again it is enirely up to God how many children He wants to give me... i don't have problem with people who only have one child or many children as long as they are responsible and can afford it... take care and have a nice day...

Nobody can decide how another person should live her life. Perhaps in their perspective having more children brings more joy, but for some mothers, it may just be enough to only have one child and fully giving their all to bring up the child, and I feel there is nothing wrong with that. Having more kids could bring more fun, but on another hand it could mean additional financial and psychological burden, unless the mother be prepared and determined to bring up each of the kid wisely. Having one or more than one child is a very personal decision.

As parents, we should be the one deciding how many children we should have. Because we have the sole responsibility in taking good care of them. No one should dictate it to us since we are the ones who knows our capacity to take care our children.

..well, those people telling you that have had experiences or have heard stories from those who had been an only child.. they say its sad because according to those I've met, being an only child is fine especially when it comes to parents attention and love. It is not divided. However, these only child children sometimes long to feel the experience of having someone to be called a brother or a sister as playmates.. One more thing is, if for example, you child gets marry, eventually, you will be left alone with your husband.. When I got married, my doctor said, if possible, me and my husband will have at least two children because its so sad to be an only sad. I ask her why and she said, most of the times, when I see families or children playing with their brother or sister, I feel sad. How I wish I could have someone to turn to also. She added that her parents met an accident and she is now left alone. She doesn't have any brother or sister to sought for help. She may have friends to console her but she prefer a brother or a sister.. Now, she has to face her problems alone. I won't say that this same thing will happen to your family, I'm just giving you some insights why people say its sad that your daughter is an only child. I hope you won't get angry with me too.. I just want to help you realize things... God bless.

I understand where you are comming from, however I am from the opposite side of the kid fence. I have three, I always wanted more than one and then we had two and were talking about a third when we found out that we were already expecting the third. I don't have a problem with people that only have one child, my husband was an only child. I also don't have a problem with people who have more than one child. I have a problem with people who have children and don't take care of them and don't pay for them theirselves. I have a cousin who is on welfare, goes to school on tax payers dimes, does not work or even try to work and yet she has five kids and wants to have a sixth. I have a problem with this....she's having kids and I'm supporting them, and she doesn't work, not because she can't but because she doesn't want to. I don't have a problem with stay at home moms, if they are staying home and paying thier own bills. I'd stay at home myself if we could afford it, we can't so I WORK to feed and cloth my kids. This bothers me way more than people who have lots of kids or people who only have one child. I chose to have more than one child for many reasons but the one that was always most important to me was so that when we were gone, my kids would still have each other, they'd at least have each other for family. I come from a large family and having family around has always been important to me.

In my place,one should be enough.More then two will be a big trouble for most of us.Bring up a child is not easy.I can not even think about this.It looks like a nightmare.Can any of you tell me how to do it well?

I agree, no one should have any right to make a comment like that. Don't blame you a bit for being tired of biting your tongue in response to the rude comments. If it were me, I'd definately come up with a fairly rude response to throw right back at the person.... along with a bright and sunny smile! Enjoy your family and don't let anyone else step on your toes in regards to it.

dont worry about them they are not the one who feeds and takes care of your child....sad for them because having many children means many mouth to feed... many children to take care..:)

I agree that how many children you have should be your own choice...the only time I think it should be limited is if your on welfare. Then it becomes a problem b/c there are women who purposely keep having baby after baby simply to get more money and benefits. I'm not saying they shouldn't have any kids just that there should be a limit on how many welfare will pay for. Just my opinion... [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

I think it's up to the parents how many they have. There is no right or wrong answer. However, if you have been following the news about the Octuplets then there may be some grounds for quesioning ones means to support so many. I love my kids but LOVE DOES NOT PAY THE BILLS!

I know what you mean, except I was the one with 5 kids. I got so sick of people saying "Oh My however do you manage!" I got so fed up one day that I told a lady very slowly, I get up every morning feed them, clothe them, bathe them and love them. (not neccesarily in that order, lol) It is frustrating. How about this one, ever hear someone say "If that were my kid....." If it were your kid you would do probably the same thing the parent is doing. I think people need to feel better about themselves and the only way to do that is to put down someone else.

Lol Im also sticking with one and plus im on my own and I do too hate ppl telling me that my daughter might need a lil bro or sis, hey! how can they have an opinion? they cant they dont have the right no even the chance of knowing how hard is to raise kids now and even to have them on your own. I tell all those ppl to stick their noses in their own lives. also i like to recall of when my daughter is having a tantrum in public and ppl tells me how come dont i do anything? arg! please its my own way of teaching good beahviour by not paying attention to bad one, ppl stop being so darn nosy!

I don't think that there is anything wrong with only having one child. I was an only child up until I tunred 15 and trust me, there were still plenty of people for me to play with growin up. I think having one child is great because it means that you can dedicate your time soley to them, you can spoil them and cherish every minute you have with them. I personally have two daughters that are barely a year apart and I have to admit that sometimes I feel bad that I had them so close together. I have to say though that I do know what the others might be thinking. It is nice to grow up with siblings and all but only if the parents are ready and it doesn't sound to me like you and your husband want to go down that road. There is nothing wrong with that and I don't think that you should let what others think or say affect you, everyone has their own opionion. Trust me I have two children and now people are telling me that my daughters are old enough to have a little brother or sister to take care of. While I know that my daughters would be the best little helpers in the world, my husband and I are not ready to have another child right now. Believe me, no amount of trying to convince me and him will work, we will have another child IF and when WE are READY. I applaude you for standing firm, keep up the good work.

There are so many reasons that people have or don't have children. The point is that they are PERSONAL! It is no one's business but your own. You should say something the next time someone has the nerve to comment on a decision in your life. I absolutely can't stand the instant judgement people inflict lately. Is it so difficult to just say something nice?