Do you ever complain?

April 1, 2010 2:38pm CST
Yesterday a colleague really annoyed me. She asked for for help on something she wasn't sure about and which needed to be done urgently. I came over to help, suddenly she got up without a comment and left. I was furious as I had to finish her work and she didn't even stay to learn how to do it! When she came back I went to her and complained about her attitude and that her behaviour wasn't acceptable. Some colleagues were quite surprised (whilst impressed) that I complained as I am usually quite a soft person. They said they wouldn't have been brave enough to complain. So my question is, do you complain if you are treated wrong?
11 responses
• Philippines
4 Apr 10
To complain means to show your frustration to what a person had done. I think its fine as long as it is well controlled. Some complaints are just unfair like when I'm very ill and my parents tell me to stand up and work. It has its own plus and minuses. Another effect of complaining is that when it is from parent and directed to child, the child cannot tolerate the verbal overload and starts eating a lot causing obesity. But the parents were unable to just shut up. At their case I'm not sure whether complaining helped with their situation.
5 Apr 10
Yes, in some respect complaining is an art. You need to do it the right way. Just shouting usually only creates mutual frustration. Whilst an assertive complaint can actually affect a change in behaviour.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
2 Apr 10
Well i would complain but not to the third person, but direct to the people, to let them know that i was hurted by their behaviour and attitude. May be i can get an answer or i can feel lite!
5 Apr 10
I agree. I complain to the person. If neccessary I escalate the issue, but ideally I can get my point across without bringing the person into trouble with their superior.
@dzhzfj (25)
• China
2 Apr 10
I thought that is the normal behavior,we are only the ordinary people,can be complained to the discontented matter's person.Sometimes i also complain my life.
5 Apr 10
You'd be surprised. There are many people complaining behind the persons back rather than bringing it out in the open. I think that if I don't tell the person I am annoyed, they won't know and will keep behaving that way.
@machivado (528)
• Indonesia
2 Apr 10
It depends on the circumstances...I think I rarely ever get really mad to someone...Usually I just tell them the truth while trying my best to keep my manner...Usually it works for me and I don't have to yell.
5 Apr 10
You are doing the right thing. I don't believe in yelling. But you can say things in a rather assertive way to make your point clear without being rude. It usually works.
• United States
2 Apr 10
Yes, if something bothers me I do complain. Sometimes silently, sometimes audibly. But what I hate is the complaining about something and not trying to make it right. For example, if you're complaining about having no money, yet you refuse to look for work, or find ways to earn money, then to me you have no right to complain. But you did right to stand up to your colleague. She shouldn't use you like that, not when you're trying your best to help her.
5 Apr 10
I guess that's the difference between complaining and whineing / whinging. Complaining doesn't always change things but you do complain to try to get a change - e.g. in behaviour. Complaining about not having enough money won't help unless you take other actions.
@umit_umit (1984)
• India
2 Apr 10
well it once happened with me also!and i complained about this to the mentors!!
5 Apr 10
Not the worst thing to do if you get nowhere with the person directly.
@thenieruz (136)
• United States
1 Apr 10
Kudos to you for making a stand. Yes I complain when I am treated wrong. Often enough I am told tough luck. Still, complaining has a time and a place and I always make sure it's worth complaining about before going at it.
5 Apr 10
Yes, I think if you don't complain people don't know that there behaviour is not acceptable. So I think it is important to complain when something is really wrong.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
2 Apr 10
I won't complain about it. I will go fetch her by the ear and let her do her work without helping her. That should teach her a lesson. People like that are irritating. And please don't ever do someone elses work again. That can get you into trouble. TATA.
5 Apr 10
:-) Sounds a good idea. The only reason I helped is because she took on my old job and the girl working for her (and previously me) was desperate for the help. My satisfaction was that her (the colleague who wandered off) actually heard our discussion. Not that he would do something, but at least he knows I helped and the colleague messed up.
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
I'm usually easygoing, but when I've had enough I definitely complain. I don't mind helping someone do their job, but they have to be there to help me with it and not make it seem like I'm supposed to do everything like that person you were talking about. If I don't like something, and I know it's bugging other people, I complain. I try to talk to the person before doing any actual complaining, but if they try to get away with it even after talking to them, I straight out tell them how I feel.
5 Apr 10
I don't like complaining to someone more senior about an employee. Usually things can be sorted with the person directly. But then again, you don't always get somewhere and there is an escalation process for a reason.
• Philippines
2 Apr 10
It depends, if you think it will result into a physical fighting, just be quite and spare your life. But sometime if the gravity of the incident is not-tolerable, I usually complain verbally and sometimes with action.
5 Apr 10
Gosh, no. I am far to tiny a girl to get into physical fighting. I wouldn't complain if I think it would be dangerous. I meant more the verbal, civilised way of complaining.
1 Apr 10
I think you did the right thing, even if she has got so frustrated that she needed someone else to do it the least she should have done is stayed around to learn, she should be thinking herself lucky that you didnt go to the manager, at the end of the day she left her work to someone else, the boss wouldnt be too happy to hear that. Well done, I never used to complain about anything, until I worked in customer service and found that everyone complained about everything, now I do complain sometime but only when I think its really needed or I have been treated really bad, and I do try to be nice while Im doing it, especially if Im complaining to a company as I know what it feels like when someone is shouting at you for a "company" problem, and they are blaming you personally. But personal life is different and I think you did quite well telling her about her behaviour.
5 Apr 10
Oh yes, I agree. Some people complain about everything and I don't think that's right. It's a bit like the boy and the wolf. If you always complain you are not being taken seriously when it matters. But I think if something is really amiss it needs to be raised. Politely of course.