Never Feeling Loved

You just listed off my entire life right there, My parents have never once told any of us they loved us, nor can I remember a time they hugged us or even patted us on the back and said I am proud of you. Even now they are very very negative, I never noticed and maybe because I was away for college, then worked full time midnights. I think deep down they hate their lives, and take it out on others. My entire family memory is drinking, and family gathering nows they cant have a good time unless they are so drunk they cant walk (which is every weekend).

Almost everyone I know who has had a rough upbringing and is now leading a healthy life has attributed their "success" to an external relationship or opportunity. Someone believed in them and showed them that they were valuable. It doesn't mean that they don't have a lot of trials, but through some sort of support system, they are better able to navigate.

Oh, yes I do! My husband is one of those kind of people. He was a child out of 8 children and he was raised (of what he was raised) in an abusive home. His father and mother drank a lot. The father worked in construction, so wasn't home much and the mother cheated a lot on her husband. They grew up with beatings (severe) and my husband was kicked out of the home at a young age on several occasions and ended up in foster care. He just knew that the foster home when the foster parents showed each other love and told him they were proud of him they were faking it and he didn't want any part of that fake stuff. When we were married the first time he had a hard time in showing his emotions to me and our children. Now, that we're remarried he realizes that people who show their emotions aren't fake. He now shows me and our grown children and grandchildren love and praise. So I think that even one who has had that kind of upbringing can change if they can let their wall down to be loved and to show love.

The pride of accomplishing to something, it gives pride and the feeling of proud on their faces. I had seen my parents felt so proud when I graduated in college. The sacrifices they had to finance the education, it payed-off for obtaining diploma. My parents are not expressive of what they feel, but through actions I had seen that I was cared of.

i don't know anyone that have been in that situation, also i m not to stay my family always happy, there still some argument that happen through out my life, but i no they love me, sometime they just don't know how to react towards it. what can i say, this people can be easily change by the environment around them, if they been in good environment, we can say they will succeed and vice versa

I'm sorry for that. Maybe he just have a feeling of being unloved. Anyway, if he feels he is being unloved by his family, he must pray for them. Secondly, reach out to others I mean to his friends or friends inside the church. We also have a spiritual family. And the best thing one must do is not to think of it rather love them in return. God Bless

I do not personally know anyone who might be in that situation. But I think that if these were all felt by a person,, the person might just lose the ability to succeed. He has very poor self-esteem and had anger and hatred carried on all though his life. Some parents might have treated their kid these way maybe because of how frustrated they are for the kind of life that they have that they turn on to their children to release their frustrations and anger.

You can never have enough hugs and kisses, whether you're 6 or 60 IMO. I don't know why anyone would want to treat their child so badly as to deprive them of love. I guess they must have their own reasons, but they are also missing out. Our nurturing sure does have an affect on how we turn out but at some point you have to look for love elsewhere if you crave it. If it's you you are talking about, here is some virtual love If it's not, have it anyway

I am able to imagine that. In fact I grew up in almost the same kind of situation where I almost had my own blood trying to harm me and damage my reputation and life. Some of my friends experienced similar things that they almost never felt loved in their lives and hardship is all they get. Somehow they managed to survive all those hard years and they are now working well. Hopefully they will have a happy family someday.

Hi friend, it is really hard to live in such kind of situation, we must need love and care from our parents and friends to have progress in our life, it is hard to imagine a life without care and affection. We must need encouragement to achieve a lot in our life. I never heard any story in this sort as well as don't saw any person who is living in this kind of pity life

I never met someone like this. But,there are people who's family brought up are different. There are people who are not used or should I say in into hugging or kissing. They love each other but they never show it through actions. There are also people who don't like expressing what they feel through words. But still they knew that they are being loved. In situation like what you've shared I think there will be two results. It could be the child will grow stronger (in the sense that he/she is tough and never mind what's people are doing around him/her) and that she'll/he'll do her/his best to succeed or she/he might be a loser and think little of himself/herself. The result will depend upon how you take those negative events in your life. What other people do towards you will not determine your future. It's how you respond to it. So respond positively despite it's negative things.

I don't a child like that would grow up to be a responsible person himself. He/she can't give such passion towards others or even his/her children. I knew someone who can't express such appreciation and love to others co's he/she never felt such caring in his childhood life. A person who is deprived of love and appreciation tends to be insecure, bitter and selfish. But there are those who experience such things that instead of being a bitter person, he/she instead do the opposite and become a loving and appreciative parent.

I never knew such person. but here I quote and translate from http://gayahidupsehat.org : a loving environment and adequate facilities in the form of stimulation, make a big impact on increasing the level of intelligence of the child. Good environmental stimulation will lead to the addition of the thickness of the cortex (brain lining) increasing the number of synapses (connecting) per neuron (nerve cell) and the addition of capillaries in the brain. I'm sure that theory coming from a deep observation and years of research and I never know so far a theory against that.

I Have a friend who was never introduced to hugging and touching. I am a touchy person. I touch when I want the person. One time I put my arm around her, she brushed away my hands and with all her strength she told me not to put my arm again. Whoaaa.. I did not touch any private part of her it was just her shoulder and it was a friendly touch no nothing in it. I was just surprised on how she reacted and of course I got embarrassed. After that I never touch her anymore not even to call her attention. I understand that she was not introduced to touching or hugging when she was just a young girl. but she never admitted that she was not truly loved by her family. They are not just "touchy family" as she claimed. Oh well, that's her life. ;)

Yes, there are a lot of survivors like that who have surpassed all the trials of childhood and are now doing great in the fields they are in. One does need to be a victim of one's past. One should move on, bury the past, and be willing to make a change, make the lessons of the past as his or her guide for all his/her endeavors.

after getting through so many rough patches,we certainly feel like that and we need to destress it off and its common attitude,try to relax or find a suitable person for your attitude