If you do cheat on your partner, should you always tell them the act?
By Nursefrai06
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
Penrith, Australia
December 29, 2012 11:13pm CST
Lying and cheating is definitely wrong. However how about drunken hook-ups where in the person involved is in a state of impaired function and under social pressures which is immediately regretted? If you are in a wonderful relationship with your partner, and you are never going to repeat the act again, do you tell them about it?
Once trust is broken, a relationship will never be the same again. If you do tell them, is it being more honest with your partner or is it to free you from your own guilt? Is ignorance really bliss? Is there a fine line to when you are supposed to confess your indiscretions and when you don't have to do so?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
That's a difficult question.
I wouldn't know what to do if I were in that kind of situation.
I guess I will go with being honest. My partner deserves to know the truth. I will always be guilty and it gets worse if we keep it from our love ones.
1 person likes this
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Dec 12
It really is tricky, because in this situations no matter what you choose, there is no sure way that you can win. If you go with honesty though, you risk hurting your partner with something you really regret doing and are sure that you won't do again. Is it really worth it?
@Aja103654 (5644)
• Philippines
31 Dec 12
Hiding the truth from them is equal to lying.
It is a risk but that is up to the person if he is willing to take that risk.
It will definitely hurt the partner, but better this person get hurt from the truth than be a fool to believe in lies. I believe secrets won't be hidden forever. One way or another your partner may find out. It's better the truth come from you than they know about it from someone else.
As for me, I don't know if it will be worth it. I never cheated so I never encountered such problems.
Though my ex did admit he almost cheated before. That made me very insecure and worried he will truly cheat on me someday. I broke up with him.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
30 Dec 12
Honestly there is always a karma for everything. If you cheated on your partner whether you became honest or not then there will be another challenge that awaits for you that it can be a test for both of you. I am sure of that.
1 person likes this
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Dec 12
Does this mean that there is no definite right or wrong answes to this question? So whatever it is we choose wether we lie about it or not, it won't be a wrong decision?
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@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
i think if i was caught, i would have no choice but to admit, unless that happens i would have to have to end either of the relationship... the boyfriend or the other man in my life and choose whom i think i love more. of course that is to end the suffering and the expectation of any one of the guys i am having a relationship with. :D Of course i am not saying that i will do this, or will be cheating on my partner. I never have and i never will. just a thought that if i no longer love my partner, i will most probably just break up with him and have a relationship with someone i think i love.
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
30 Dec 12
I think that you should tell your partner if you cheat on them especially if you love them. I couldn't see myself not telling my girlfriend if I was to cheat on her because it would just eat away at me inside. It would just make me feel so bad to have her still loving me the same and sleeping with her each night knowing that I had violated her trust.
I think that if you are able to cheat on your partner and not feel any remorse or feel bad about it than you should probably re-think your relationship. I don't know how you could violate your partners love like that and I really don't think you should continue stringing along someone that loves you into a false reality and a bad relationship.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Dec 12
Does telling the truth in this context serve more as a tool to relieve the person from his or her guilt? Is it really worth it to hurt your partner for your conscience when you know very well that you regret your action so much and you are certain never to be more careful and to never do it again? Will you risk it knowing that after everything, your relationship will never be the same again?
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
30 Dec 12
Cheating is very wrong. And if a person cheats they should definitely tell their partner. Even if they got drunk and cheated. That is one reason why people shouldn't drink and should be mindful of the company they keep. It is very hard to gain trust back when it is broken. It is best to just stay faithful in the first place instead of trying to lie and cover it up.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
1 Jan 13
There is no excuse for cheating. That person should have thought about those things ahead of time. The person doesn't tell their partner it doesn't make it alright because the faithful person doesn't know yet. That person has already jeopardized their partners trust by allowing him or herself to be in a situation that would cause that. It requires two people two cheat.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
30 Dec 12
But if the person regrets it so much and won't do it again, is it worth jeopardizing their partners trust for it?
1 person likes this
@kunu111185 (211)
• India
1 Jan 13
Trust is the most important element in a relationship and if it breaks relationship can not last longer.If you have committed some mistake never try to hide it and tell him/her everything before he/she knows from a different source.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
I know that being honest to your partner would mean that you respect your partner so much and that you wouldn't allow any secrets be kept from him. But sometimes, there are instances that happen which we really didn't mean to do. And I guess, on those instances, it is better to just keep it to yourself than let your partner know about it.
@Shavkat (140157)
• Philippines
30 Dec 12
Being drunk doesn't mean you don't know what you are doing. Some people hooked-up with this kind of situation. They committed cheating of their partners and feel guilty for doing so. The usual alibis are being drunk or peer pressured. The mere fact, it is a lame excuses.
@rajendraingale (289)
• Estado De Mexico, Mexico
30 Dec 12
hi,
Through my point of view,its good you tell your partner what has happened,Coz somehow if your partner comes to know later that might create a huge scene.
it also depends upon your relationship how you deal with each other, if your partners understands you and he/she is patient in handling situation,then its always good to share everything. At times things go out of hand when something terrible happens and your partner does not seems to accept what you have done, in that case give time, they say time is a medicine which heals everything.
@kitana710 (53)
•
30 Dec 12
I think it depends on your level of commitment. Boyfriends and girlfriends don't necessarily mean that you've committed to being the only one that you're going to be with. Engaged I think is different because you've established that you two are planning to be with each other for the rest of your lives and marriage completes that. In my opinion you can be committed at any level and cheating would of course be just that, cheating. But what are you committed to? Clearly some people establish with their partners that sometimes they'd rather be blind/dumb to more than they should know because at the end of the day their partner is coming back to them, while others that are more traditional feel that being honest IS their relationship.
