The words that scare me
By vanny
@vandana7 (100617)
India
March 9, 2023 6:29am CST
"Boring", and "Useless"
You call me all sort of names, I will be able to realistically assess myself ..and tell me ..well, this does not apply to me, the person does not have the required vocabulary to express himself or herself.
But if I were called boring or useless,
I would have to think am I? And honest answer would be difficult for me ...to admit.
Same with useless...
Which are the regular words ...not abusive per se, yet that have seriously ugly and unhappy effect on us?
22 people like this
21 responses
@marguicha (223783)
• Chile
9 Mar 23
@vandana7 I agree that some words need to be banned. I donĀ“t like at all the word "guilt". It is used too much and in many circumstances people end up with lack of self-esteem.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
10 Mar 23
I hate those too...because at times I am stupid. I prefer to declare myself as retarded at times...it spares me some work. LOL Seriously, I often have handful. I wish I could dump it all on others and simply listen to music. That is when I actually wish I was treated as a retard...so that no more work would fall upon me. Another time.............. when people are at meeting....fighting it out ..........I wish they would not.....but they do..........I wish I can come up with something unintelligible and really stupid...that kinda breaks the tense heated exchange.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
10 Mar 23
@just4him That I do understand...I guess I say I am ignorant or I cannot understand such things because I am not that smart...somethings like that. If I put in effort, I could. Or at times, I know I can but the workload would be too much ..and maybe I am shirking the work...who doesn't...I find it easier to pretend I am not smart. Or let others think I am not smart that is why I make some mistakes. LOL Most people are quite forgiving when they think I cannot learn things as well as them. I am the one having the last laugh. LOL
2 people like this
@just4him (317241)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 Mar 23
@vandana7 I can understand what you're saying. Though I would never want to act or appear stupid or retarded.
My parents considered me retarded until they had the school give me an IQ test. Nobody called me retarded after that. However, stupid stuck with me throughout my school life until I graduated. I'm not. I refuse to allow any member of my family to call anyone stupid or retarded.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
13 Mar 23
@sjvg1976 I agree. But it is also a fact that most Indians have learned the word recently. It may even be new in the US. I don't recall ever having heard it even 20 odd years ago.
When I suggested that he use it like that......the idea was to give the user of the word, inferiority complex about his/her pronunciation.
If it is a man...he would suffer more inferiority complex for not having anybody so madly crazy about him. LOL
If either of them has to explain the word, ...well....the impact is lost.
These are one word insults. If you have to elaborate, they don't hold the negativity.
1 person likes this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
9 Mar 23
I can be boring sometimes and I will admit I am especially when I don't have the enthusiasm to deal with topics or conversation, I just zip my lips.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
9 Mar 23
@simplfred I have often found me useless too. Duplicating my work...had an employee of mine done it like that, I would have flared up, but because I did it, the mistake is swallowed down. LOL...honesty..LOL
2 people like this
@simplfred (20641)
• Philippines
9 Mar 23
@vandana7 Yeah... For me, I can accept boring but not useless.
2 people like this
@Laurakemunto (12862)
• Kenya
9 Mar 23
When someone tells me to reason or think and yet am not on the wrong it shutters me down alot
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
9 Mar 23
Ahan..... this is comparatively simpler.... you gotta take 10 deep breaths, maybe 20....giving yourself time to define WHY you think you are right............then spill the beans.
When there is lack of co-ordination between the brain and verbal conveyance...this does happen....brain often runs much ahead...
The only time this situation can go out of hand is, when you are bound to protect somebody...else it will reflect badly on them...then it is a miserable situation...
2 people like this
@Laurakemunto (12862)
• Kenya
9 Mar 23
@vandana7 but if the words come from a person close to you and acts like a perfectionist it hurts so much
2 people like this
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Mar 23
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Boring and useless are harsh.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Mar 23
@vandana7 ...........I would also consider the source.
2 people like this
@sulynsi (2671)
• Canada
10 Mar 23
I've been following an app lately designed to help improve good habits and health - and one of the things it says can be a real drag on your enthusiasm is 'all or nothing' thought distortions.
Labelling someone, even labelling ourselves as 'useless' is a thought distortion - probably the product of frustration. When self-directed, it can make motivation difficult and it is unkind to do it to others.
I like the thought at Romans 12:3 'I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment..' so we need to be balanced - not putting ourselves (or others) on a pedestal, but not to denigrate either. Being reasonable and fair minded.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
10 Mar 23
Problem is also that we do not realize we are having fun at others expense and hurting them in process. I have a good friend..former colleague ... who was and is quite bulky. He was not before his marriage. His wife is a great cook. That is the issue.
Never mind...but once he mentioned he was flying to another city in the afternoon. Unwittingly I said, which part of the plane is leaving...everybody in the room started laughing including this friend. Sporting of him. Another person would have taken it as an offense. I should not have said that...I apologized..I hope nobody else follows the same rule..it was rude of me.
1 person likes this
@much2say (56053)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Mar 23
@vandana7 I know that type of scenario all too well. I joke with others as well. In fact I did tell my husband when we were dating that he would gain weight if he stayed with me with my cooking - and guess what, he did . We always joked about that and still do.
But some people can handle that type of joking. Others are much more sensitive and can't . . . most times we can sense that. You know your good friend - and he probably knows your joking . . . it may have been ok with him. It was mindful of you to apologize though . . . sometimes we don't know how we may take a joke too far.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (220245)
• Walnut Creek, California
10 Mar 23
I have read that were most thankful for praise and most vulnerable to criticism, in areas in which we are uncertain. If someone said to me, "You're a lousy athlete," I would just laugh, because I am not. If they said, "You're not a very fast swimmer," But I am sensitive to comments about my voice, because I was insecure about my (solo) singing until a few years ago. All of that said, are you worried about becoming a bit bored/boring or even useless? I sure hope not!
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
10 Mar 23
Were you seeking a compliment hero? You know your voice is great...I have told you a couple of times you have Sinatra type of voice. If you don't believe me (this you should I am not pulling a fast one on you honest), try singing Killing me softly ..record on your newly acquired cell phone...listen to it...you would know I am not lying...I know you won't send it to me...you are so scared I will fall head over heels in love with you that you will not know where to run and hide...kidding, but you do have that kinda voice. Make use of it while you still can sing. There comes a time when life goes out of the voice...muscles start giving way...then it does not sound as nice. So sing those numbers today...before it is too late.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16503)
• Raurkela, India
9 Mar 23
When someone calls me a psycho which I am not. In my young days I stopped working if someone called me negligent.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (100617)
• India
10 Mar 23
@aninditasen Do we need such folks in our lives? Come on..................
If they said I am pyscho...I will say yes...that is why I am asking you to leave my house else I might murder you. LOL
I have reached that stage with some type of folks.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (16503)
• Raurkela, India
10 Mar 23
@vandana7 We know that but some people want to drive those accusation hard.
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@popciclecold (39510)
• United States
9 Mar 23
I would not like either of them either.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (80736)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
9 Mar 23
Two words I prefer not having in my vocabulary and certainly would never refer to others by,
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (181717)
• United States
13 Mar 23
Who would dare call you boring or useless? You are none of those. I would hate to be called lazy.
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@dgobucks226 (35737)
•
14 Mar 23
An interesting argument. Couldn't words like boring and useless be interpreted differently by different people. So, how does one know if they are really defined correct? Would it be by a consensus of people saying you are? Maybe the unspoken word might say even more than the spoken one. I think words are as powerful as your emotional response to them.
1 person likes this