How do you deal with a High School Teacher that won't work with a parent?

First quit blaming the teacher and put the respponsibility where it belongs... on the student.

I will never make her angry because it will lead to future problems. What I would do is, I will send him for a good class without consulting her. In my country, anyway, we send our children for private classes. There are parents who send their children for all the subjects which is not required and hectic for the child. Dont you'll have teachers who give private lessons? Other thing you could do is, sit with him and evaluate his lessons on a daily basis. Then you can help him as and when required. How old is he by the way?

i think the teacher is the cause of all your boy failing,since she do not want to help you out

I read a few of the responses to your post, and find that I am appalled at some of them. Why does everyone always want to lay the blame on the parent? Teachers are perfect? Yes, underpaid, overworked, but they chose this job, they need to do it. I am a teacher and also a parent myself, and I understand the frustrations. A parent doesn't know what goes on in the classroom unless there is good communication with the teachers. That is what conferences are for. At the first sign of problems with the students, a conference should always be scheduled to discuss the problem and how to deal with it before it goes further. My son had problems with his english teacher and not turning in assignments. This teacher, and I hate to talk bad about a teacher, but she never once contacted me. I asked for a conference, she popped in on my meeting with his homeroom teacher and said basically he could do the work, he just chose not to. He eventually was switched to another teacher and ended up passing. I would definatly go talk to the principal if your sons teacher will not cooperate with you. Sounds like you have tried on your end. It's not all your responsibility, the teachers have a responsibility also.

Well pay attention on you child

After reading a few pages of responses from others and seeing your replies, I have gotten more information on what is actually happening at this school. From your original post, it seemed as though you were wanting your son's teacher to spoon feed him, and you, the assignments so he would be sure to get everything done. I saw that the teacher doesn't update her website, which I don't agree with. That is the reason for having a website, so the parents have easy access to what is going on. Also, so teachers don't HAVE to email allll the parents who want to know what's happening in class. It can get really overwhelming.. I have 30 students in my class, 5 classes a day, and by the end of the day, I am WORN OUT. Teaching IS really hard, and I apologize for all teachers, including myself, who sometimes reach the end of their fuse with students who do the same things over and over after being told not to. I'm sorry you are having these problems with your son's teacher, and I do hope they get resolved. I want to apologize for some of the heated comments I made, as I was quickly upset because I felt like all teachers were being chastized for not putting up with kids who won't take responsibility for themselves. I truly hope this isn't the case with your son, and I hope you find someone who will support you in your endeavor to help your son.

It seems a lot of the time that school officials and such think they are in some sort of superior and ruling position over parents and hold some sort of pink slip giving flunking athority...when really they hold no power and it is we the tax payers paying them to have their positions...keeping that in mind I think it would be safe to say WE ARE THEIR BOSSES...so, as the childs parent and the supreme authority I'd put my foot down in the dealings with the teacher ..I had a younger brother who seemed to go through circumstances like you speak of..he was a bit of a goof off at school and such and eventually to rectify the situation and get him a fair shake he had to relocate to a different school...meh Good luck

I have a few comments on your situation - 1. if your son is a behavioral problem in class, it isn't really an excuse if it's an immature boy thing. All the children in that class are immature, and if they all act up, no one will learn anything. If the teacher has to spend all of her time babysitting teenagers, then no teaching will get done. 2. I am a tutor. I have about 30 students, and while a couple of them do have trouble keeping track of their homeowrk, most are fine. All of the students use agendas to write down their assignments, and their parents check their agendas. Is your son in the habit of using an agenda? This might help him with all of classes. It takes a while to actually become a habit, but it can be really helpful. 3. If you have time, it might help if you sit down with him while he is doing his homework. If there is a desk he can work at in the same room as you can do some quiet work, your presence can help him stay on task and make it easier for him to ask questions. 4. If your son is doing stupid things that cause referrals, you can question why he is receiving the referrals, maybe by going to a counsellor, the principal, or the vice principal. But make sure to be willing to listen to both sides of the story. If your son is doing things that you tell him are not a big deal, but the teacher thinks are serious, then he will continue doing them - like if he is talking in class, he gets in trouble, and then you just get mad at the teacher for giving him a referral, he will learn that it is okay to talk in class.

Is your student identified as special needs? That would be one avenue. If he is not identified, it probably won't happen now that he is in high school. You document your discussions as they happen, and get signed papers if possible. Now that your son is in the position he is in the only thing would be to go over the teacher's head to the principal, superintendent, school board, in that order. I would be surprised if you got anywhere. You might get a little publicity. If you had nothing in writing about working with you from the teacher, then she will just be able to say that you misunderstood her, and that she is working with you. I will say, though, that if your son not able to do the work, tutoring might help, but he actually is responsible for earning his own grades, and by high school should be able to get his own homework and do it. If you sit down and do it with him, he has no reason to be proud of himself, as he will not have ownership of the work. I hope you can get this resolved.

Well to be perfectly honest your boy is in High School and should already know better. That isn't elementary school anymore, so teachers have a number of different classes to be responsible for. A teacher can't babysit a student. You are responsible for getting your son in tutoring, not his teacher. Homework and the like are also you and your son's responsibility. A teacher cannot make your son show you, and if there is no website or anything the teacher may not have time to personally send you every assignment that they assign. That is a lot to ask a high school teacher. Students are supposed to be more responsible than that in High School. So frankly, I think you need to speak with your son and lay off his teacher. It isn't his/her fault that your son is doing so poorly in school and that his behavior is bad or disruptive. If you want to disput the referrals than you should probably speak to the principle about it. But take my word for it, I am a college instructor and I have had to deal with students who are disruptive and don't do their work having parents complain that I have kicked them out of class and now they are failing, you will only be condoning bad behavior if you take your son's side on this. Perhaps this will be a good wake up lesson for him. And if he needs tutoring then get him the help!

I understand your emotion as a parent. I am a teacher but I don't think the teacher of your son is called "EFECTIVE" teacher. Teachers have lots of responsibilities to do. To educate the child and most specially to give follow-up discipline to the child. I was als a student before and I really don't like those teacher who neglects their duties. Teaching the subeject solely is not enough. A teacher should do multitasking. Our mom is our first teacher but teachers in school should keep in mind that parents like their children to be disciplines socially, educationaly and ect. I myself as a teacher thinks of ways on how will I be an effective teacher to my students. I know that I am strict in terms of homeworks specially in terms of grades. If I had a failing student, I talk to my student first then ask in what area he or she feels difficult to understand. Or maybe the student has a problem that affects his status in class. I will give a chance to improve but he will stay the same like before, that is the time for me to consult the parents which I think we can help each other to make the child improve.

u can;t blame only on the teachers but infact somehow u have to manage ur children... its ur responsibility to take care of their studies...

tell it to the head of the school or to the principal. or report it to the department of education. or go to the school and ask her and get mad at her at front of her student.

Well you made the first step you contacted the teacher. I find that a teachers who doesn't cooperate outside the classroom need the matter taken above their heads. Go to head of department guidence councellor or principal if you have to. Our school sends home task sheets that have to be signed by a parent. If an assignment not done we get a letter. Outside tuition might be an option as well.

I understand were you are comming from. I went threw this with my youngest son.Most teachers arnt even worth what they are paid. They say they are underpaid, but yet it seems like they go to work but yet dont want to work for the pay check. I was up at my sons school every week. We moved from one town were he was a straight A student. then all of a sudden he was getting F's. For some reason the teachers peged him as a trouble maker. and would not help him in any way. My son has never been into any trouble, the only problem he has is that he battled a cancerous brain tumor and his memory short and long term was affected, His old teachers understood this. this new school didnt care, but yet they recieved extra funding for him. One day I sent a tape recorder to school with him. I was shocked at what some of the teachers said and did to him. I tried talking to the princepal. I tried talking the the school board ect.. I ened up calling childrens hospital and they inturn sent a lawyer and his doctor to the school. they threatened to yank some type of school funding from the state ect. but by that time the damage was done to my son. I ended up yanking him from the school and driving him to another town . were by the way his grades came back up to A's.There are just school systems out there . That the state I believe needs to just shut the doors down on untill they weed out the bad teachers. and there seems to many of them out there. Don't get me wrong there are good ones out there also, but we so need more of them. If I were you I would start a journal. every time you talk to a teacher document it. every time you call write it down. keep records of everything. and i mean everything. There are sevral law suites against are school district, due the teachers here. If you dont push these matters. How are they going to know who is a good teacher and who isnt? good luck to you and your son. I really feel for you, because my son and I .

Talk to your son. Ask him what assignments is he missing and WHY he's missing them. If he's doing the other work then there may be something behind why the others are missing. If need be ask for a conference with his teacher to discuss his work, and why she doesn't let you know about the referrals so you can handle them at home as well. Did you even find out what the past three referrals were? Like what kind of stupid things..you may have to go higher and talk to the principal. (if it helps my ideas are coming from the fact that one day I'll be an English teacher).

If this teacher is unwilling to cooperate, maybe you need to go to the superintendant of the school district with your concern. Maybe this person shouldn't be teaching or they need to go back to school themselves to learn something about their career choice. I would definately try the tutoring, but go through the schools guidance office. Obviousely the teacher won't be much help ever.

I would have started by getting the "plan" in writing. I would have had everything we agreed on written down. I do this with everything. It helps when you need to report some failure's in the system. I would speak to the principal and include the teacher. I know she has other student's but if she agreed to help you, then she should have stuck her end of the bargain. Good luck to you and your son

I would surpass the teacher if I were you. go to the counselor or the princapal. This teacher should have made an effort.

Sometimes as parents we fail to see the whole thing in place. We are more concerned about our kids but we fail to understand what is going on in the classroom. Even if you consider your son's behaviour as immature, do you think he is disrupting the whole class by his behaviour? Hope you have better communication with your son's teacher as its the best way is to have co-operation from her side for the benefit of your own son.