Deception and Pretending...

What you say is right but there are people out there who are very overbearing. Maybe the person who's talking behind this so and so person's back is afraid of them. On a side note, there are many phony people out there and it amazes me too that these people could smile at you to your face while stabbing you in the back. I have found that people will express themselves much more when they're behind a computer so if this person has aim or yahoo messenger, you can confront them that way. But just be nice about it and avoid a conflict. Once you press "Enter" what sends can't come back.

A lot of people have reservations about being honest or about expressing themselves freely because they are afraid of the truth. It could hurt them or the people around them. It would be good to express what you exactly feel but there are some situations when there is a line that has to be crossed. The truth could bring about despair, misery, hatred, broken friendship/relationship, etc. I understand you. I also wonder about my other friends, you know, waiting for forever before they could get to say what they wanna say. Sometimes it is too late for words. Perhaps it would be good if everyone would just be honest with each other. Thanks for bringing this up.

I completely agree with you. It really drives me nuts. Anything I say to someone behind their back is the same thing I would say to their face. By behind their back I mean when they arent around. I think many people just want to be liked so they always say what they think the people want to hear. that is a copout. I know who I am and if you don't like it too bad. I will tell you what I think of you no matter what. Now that doesn't mean I am going to mean about it, I mean I know how to say things in a good way, but I will not lie and I will not sugarcoat things. I know this parent of a girl in my girlscout troop and she is just the type of person you are talking about. She is so sweet to me and friendly to but then behind my back she says horrible things about me. I mean she will say terrible things about me to the other leader in my troop and what makes it even worse is that the other leader is my twin sister. I mean come on, show some class. Finally my sister told her that she wasn't going to talk to her naymore if she kept putting me down. Just crazy. I have a lot more respect for people who are secure enough in themselves to say what is actually on their mind. The one who don't can just not talk to me, because I don't want to hear what they have to say anyways.

I agree with every word you said, but it is just so hard for me not to be timid. It seems like it is in my very nature. I don't like to lie, and I don't lie if I can possibly help it, but I would rather avoid conflict as often as humanly possible, and go to lengths to avoid it as best I can. I think that it is amazing how you can say what you think and stand up for yourself. It's something that I really need to learn how to do. I wish that i could toughen up more. I care way too much about what other people think of me.

I can relate, I have people stabbing me in the back all the time because I'm too nice and people don't usually believe in nice people because they think there's a hidden agenda behind all that niceness. If somebody is talking behind your back your 99% sure to hear about it. Back stabbing ranks right up there with speculation. Speculation is a four letter word. Anyway, it really frustrates me when somebody has decided all on their own that they think they know something when they don't. To flatly accuse people of something purely through speculation. These are the kind of people that get other innocent people in trouble. This thought just came to me the other day as I was contemplating and I believe it to be true. Speculation is a human characteristic flaw.

being blunt is not the same with being rude. there are ways to say what you think and mean what you say without hurting other people's feelings. I've learned that rudeness doesn't solve anything even if you are right. I would prefer people say things up front myself, but some people can't do this either they don't want to hurt me or they are just plain backstabbers. I'll try to find out which one are they, if they are the first then I will try to explain myself, if the second then I will stab them before they do me LOL

A lot of people instead of getting things out in the open, snipe, run, hide and pretend. They are dishonest. I know how this is frusterating and hurtful. Then there are people who feed this type of behavior as well.

now you talk in terms of computer i will talk in psychological terms people are afraid of what will happen every1 is afraid of the UNCERTAINTY factor i am i admit but i try to be open as much as possible but lately i have found out that not many people like me bcoz i prefer to talk right at the face then beating around the bush...like you said behind a comp ppl will open even i found it suprising that i opened up my thoughts to complete stranger maybe its bcoz somehow we feel secure like our identity is hidden. Not every1 prefers people who go around speaking their head out..

I know exactly what you mean ... sometimes we try to choose our words too carefully .. we think we are 'sparing' the other person .. yet we usually just make things worse .. I'm a hopeless liar as I'd never remember what I've told someone .. so I mostly 'tell it as it is' ... then at least I can remember what I've said the next time the topic comes up ..

yes i agree.i think that type people are every where.they all bind by there own thinking.

that is one of the things in life that makes it so interesting, people mostly pretends and yes deceptions with a lot of different reasons, some good some bad. But for me oyu are right, life is so short for all this things that makes us not true to ourselves and others. Maybe some are frank,open minded, sincere and true but there is those who are on the opposite. That is why we appreciate those who are truely sincere, real, honest and genuine good person.

i agree with you wholeheartedly, BUT I am one of the people you talk about. I keep things inside and just stew for days or months or years. I try not to talk about others behind their backs. I DO NOT put on a happy face in front of someone and then spout poison to someone else. But, I do not say what I feel. I don't like to hurt people's feelings and I know that pointing out a person's wrong doing will do that. This is one of the things I am trying to work on in my life.

I can relate, I have people stabbing me in the back all the time because I'm too nice and people don't usually believe in nice people because they think there's a hidden agenda behind all that niceness. If somebody is talking behind your back your 99% sure to hear about it. Back stabbing ranks right up there with speculation. Speculation is a four letter word. Anyway, it really frustrates me when somebody has decided all on their own that they think they know something when they don't. To flatly accuse people of something purely through speculation. These are the kind of people that get other innocent people in trouble. This thought just came to me the other day as I was contemplating and I believe it to be true. Speculation is a human characteristic flaw.

All people who do things like that are cowards. They cannot say straight at you what they like and disklike about you and ended up talking to other persons about you. I hate backbiters. For me, that's the lowlest kind of behavior I've never known.

Do not be sentimental. As you have a good nature, they have bad natures. why are you bothering for others? This psychological disorder comes up due to wrong upbringing, wrong socialisation etc. These things cannot be changed. Do not think about these. There are many other god-natured fellows, think about them. If you think all 5 fingers will have the same size, then that is your foolishness.

really i agree with ur discussion but if sum1 nice 2 ur face then take it easy. AS THEY SOW SO THEY REAP let it be.some things in life we cant change one of it is their childhood habit.

It is obvious many around us are the same character and they ofcourse look good in the expression and inside them everybody ll be cursing us so i dont like such kind of characters as such and i think such people will not come up in life and they ll struggle in life and then realize.

Pretenders are snakes in the grass, and could bite their prey at anytime. Such people should be avoided, or perhaps isolated. But some are so good at it that you dont get to know until its almost too late, and the damage is already done.

i am not fully agree with you

Couldn't agree more... but how about people you work with who ignore you (when they're working right next to you!) for ten hours straight? All because they are company staff who hate agency people... can you tell I've had a bad day?! lol