Will you take her hand?
@lordwarwizard (35747)
Singapore
June 11, 2007 10:49am CST
I was standing near the bus stop, waiting for my bus. I had just showered, all dressed up and was wearing a little perfume. I was all ready to attend a gathering of old friends and I was running through happy images in my mind.
Suddenly, I saw an old lady at the periphery of my sight. I turned to my right and she was already looking at me. She was a head shorter than me, around 60 of age perhaps and quite skinny. She had a maid next to her and the maid was holding her right hand and guiding her steps. The strange thing was that this old lady REACHED towards me.
She was looking to me like how a captain looks to the lighthouse. She was trying to touch me but I stood like still as a statue and pondered what to do. Should I reach forward and perhaps pat her hand? Or should I run away? Or? My heart told me to touch her and offer her some assurance but I was hesitant. What if she had some diseases that could be transmitted by touch or close breath? If I get infected because of a simple gesture like reaching out, wouldn't it be so ridiculous and unjust?
In the end I looked at the maid and raised an eyebrow in question. She smiled at me and waved the old lady's behavior off as something non-consequential. And so, I stepped aside and they soon boarded a cab with the help of a second maid who followed behind pushing a wheelchair.
Another possibility flashed across my mind. What if she was GOD in disguise? No, don't think I am crazy just yet. Do you remember that story about the lady who received a letter from GOD saying that he will come visit for dinner? The lady who was not rich wanted to get together a decent meal for GOD and so hurriedly pawned her precious few belongings. On the way back, she met a homeless man who asked for help. She deliberated but in the end decided to give her money to him - and try to figure out something for dinner later. When she reached her house, she saw a letter from GOD thanking her already. And so she knew then that the homeless man was actually GOD in disguise.
I know that was a story written by someone. But what if what happened to me was something like that? That the old lady was actually GOD trying to reach out to me, but I have rejected him? If you were me, would you have taken her hand? Do share your thoughts.
39 people like this
111 responses
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I think we have all experienced things like this at one time or another. And it never seems to fail,at least with me, to make us wonder what if. In this situation I think I would have asked the lady if she needed some help. Obviously she didnt because you saw her two maids. But it would not hurt to ask. She might have been an old lady with alzsheimers, but you never know.
9 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
yes, it is clear that the old woman was only reaching out. that's how they always act. perhaps it is because they are expecting people to hold them by the hand as a sign of respect for the elderly. i can still remember my grandmother used to put out her hand so others may reach out to her. now, my mother is also doing this. this is most probably because, it is reassuring when someone holds our hands tightly clasped.
6 people like this
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Yes I too can remember the days we treated people better and were willing to be kind without thinking about it.
5 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
11 Jun 07
I don't think she can really talk coherent - the lady I saw. I have been with elderly folks before (my grandparents before they passed away - so I know the signs). If it was my own grandparents, I would obviously take their hands but this was a stranger.
And oh, I think I missed a point (or was the implication there) - she was walking towards me and reaching out at the same time.
6 people like this
@AmbiePam (93794)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I would have taken her hand. The reality of meaning something to the lady far overshadows the possibility of germs or awkwardness. But that is just me. You are a different person with a different mindset. And you really never know when God gives us an unforseen opportunity to make a difference, even a small one. That being said, you are not bad or wrong for doing what you did. I don't think you could have gone wrong either way. : )
8 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
11 Jun 07
I think you have a bigger heart than me. What I said in my discussion was 100% true and I didn't take her hand in the end.
8 people like this
@ladyluna (7004)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Good morning Lordwarwizard,
Hmmm, interesting question. There are many angles to ponder here.
My first reaction is to reach out to someone who is elderly, and reaching for me. One, because I don't want them to fall. Two, because a bit of dementia may be in play, and I wouldn't want to rob the lady of the opportunity to speak with her long, lost sister or daughter, or granddaughter. And lastly, because many of our geriatric dears, are sorely lacking in quality kinesthetic response. Other than for personal care or medical needs, they aren't often touched. A simple stroke of the hand, can be so warming and comforting to an elderly citizen.
So yes, I would have returned her touch, and wished her a very fine day.
But then again, I like old people. Some people are not raised around the elderly and infirmed, so they can find themselves very uncomfortable around our seniors.
6 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Aw... you are such a dear, my lady.:P
6 people like this
@paidreader (5143)
• United States
11 Jun 07
Maybe you reminded her of someone she once knew. The way you smelled could have brought back some long forgotten memory that she was reaching out to capture again.
As she had her maids in attendance, I don't think you would have to fear anything contagious but a smile or hello from you could have been a nice part of the lady's outing. :)
6 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
11 Jun 07
Wow wizzy 2 stories for the price of one - and both were fantastic - well seeing you had a good sleep earlier! lol I think I would have held or at least patted her hand , who knows if it would have had much effect or not though but I do think I would have. That said I can understand why you might have hesitated!
As for the story of the old lady who met God in disguise - that was a wondeful story and shows that you never really know how much a gesture will mean for anyone , not even yourself! That reminds me , I do hope you decided not to skip dinner in the end? hhmmm? lol I would not worry over this too much wizzy as if it were God in disguise I am sure he would understand - after all it is not as if she specifically asked anything of you! xxx
6 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
LOl.. no no, I hate dinner. My Mum cooked. :P
He will understand me for rejecting him? :PP
6 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
HAHAHAHA. :P
But I do agree with you that women are more perfect than men. :PP
4 people like this
@mummymo (23706)
•
12 Jun 07
Well that is conditioning isn't it? lol I personally think God is a woman (why else would we be more perfect then men ;-p) but since we are born we are conditioned to refer to God as he! If it were God he woulod definitely forgive you - he is all about forgiveness! Also if you took the old womans hand because she may be God in disguise wouldn't that be hypocritical? And you my friend are not a hypocrite! xxx
5 people like this
@teleios (737)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
it would always be a good thing to help out a person in need. an old lady is no exception. i always try to remember that God is everywhere, He said so in the Bible, that if we love Him we must help out the widows and the orphans who need our help (although i think giving money to a perfectly healthy person is not my idea of helping). so i think it's no longer a question of was that God disguised as the old lady. rather, we should go through our days helping those who need our help, because that's what we are supposed to do.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
But it was obvious that she didn't need help - she had 2 maids with her. *roll eyes*
5 people like this
@vani24 (783)
• India
12 Jun 07
Yes Lord, Well first i will think for a while but definitely i would have taken her hand and offered her help. Well i think being a piscean one has the same mindset and same way of thinking. Lord, let me share with you one of my experience which took place recently when i was on way to my office..one small boy he was going to school and got hit by a motor bike and i was at the spot itself. I was surprised that no one ever cared about the incident which happened. i was chocked and i immediately hired an auto rickshaw and took him to the nearest clinic and i rescued him, and then i saw his home address on his identity card, and then dropped him to his place and her mother felt very happy and she was giving me money and was offering something but i refused and came back, i really felt happy that day that i saved someones life and i think that small boy came like God and tested me, i thought that day....Anyways thank you so much for the discussion.
Bye and have a nice day...
Thanks,
Vani.
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Yes yes, you indeed have a big and caring heart.
1 person likes this
@ctv101103 (859)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
very nice discussion.
anyway, i would have taken her hand and assisted her. i have been faced with similar situation quite a number of times already and more often than not, i also reach out.
but i also tend to be cautious at the same time since i already experienced being swindled by an old lady before. i tried to help her cross the street and she ended up wiping out my money thru the atm!
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
So much for kindness!
Sorry to hear about that..
1 person likes this
@purplehaze (661)
• Philippines
12 Jun 07
Maybe i wouldnt touch her because im really not the type of "touchy" person even with family and friends. But, since the old woman reached out to touch me, i would have at least smiled or talk to her and ask if she has something she wants to say to me or if she needs something. If i were in your position, the thought that she might have an infectious disease might not cross my mind, besides, you mention she has two maids with her so i would guess that she's not dangerous. Probably,when she saw you, you reminded her of someone she knew or maybe she felt that you can give her warmth or acceptance or something she's looking for.
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
you really sound like you are looking and wanting to know God. I am scheduled to go to Manila on the eighteenth of this month and i will be back before the month ends if all goes well. i will be able to secure then the name and the contact number of the person who is taking charge of our ministry in singapore. i will send all necessary information so you can get in touch and you can talk all about faith and what it really is. have no fear. you will not be forced to join our church. we will just be sharing the entirety of our Biblical knowledge. the final judgment will all be yours to take.
i will pm you then and i hope that you will take the right move from there. lay to rest your fears for now. that old woman did not need your help then. she has her companions to rely upon for this. have a good day.
4 people like this
@trinidadvelasco (11401)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
don't worry, you do not really need to accept Christ so easily. you just have to learn the words of God as they are written in the Bible. then the next step will be yours to take. the next step is in fact all yours to take becuase i cannot do anything at all beyond giving you a name and some contact numbers.
1 person likes this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
you really sound like you are looking and wanting to know God.
Yes I am... though part of me has given up.
I am not keen on the information you are kindly offering to obtain for me though. I have truckloads of church friends and some have been so upset with me because I did not agree to accept Christ.
4 people like this
@coffeeshot (3783)
• Australia
12 Jun 07
It's a pretty low possiblilty of catching a disease just from touching someone's hand. Older people think differently to younger people. They've already experienced life and smaller things matter to them, such as the simple gesture of touch. I know you're not a rude or arrogant person because you obviously thought about this after it happened, and I agree it would have been confusing.
I think whenever the elderly reach out to us, whether it's physically or emotionally, we should be there for them as much as they want us because their time is slowly coming to an end and the smallest thing like a 'good morning' or the touch of a hand can mean the world to them.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
I think I am just more paranoid than most people..
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7538)
• Philippines
11 Jun 07
Goodness, baby. I'm forever dizzy with your silly story. "grin"
My maternal grandmother lived to an old age of 98. Yes...you heard it right. Her last 5 years was spent lying on the bed with a nurse tending to her. Everytime my classmates visited her, my grandmother will automatically reached out to touch their hands. In a way, it made her easier to feel connected to outsiders.
The old lady must sees something in you that reminded her of someone. Maybe, its her dog, LOL! You saw the maid's reaction. The old lady must be doing this hand gesture to anyone she saw.
In a way, I can understand your hesitation. But on the contrary, I wouldn't let my imagination roamed like you and will gladly take her hands. I have a soft spot for the elderlies. Who knows, I might receive a letter from God too.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
I couldn't find it... I hope I didn't drink it with the baileys by mistake...
4 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Baby, that was real, not a story. "Story" just seems to imply that I made that whole thing up - which I did not. :P
It is good hearing about your maternal grandmother in that you are likely going to live past 100, judging from things.
And are you sure I remind her of her dog? Might it not be her pet lizard?
4 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
11 Jun 07
My, my Wizzy, the predicaments you get into !! I would have said hello to her and asked if she needed some assistance. I am a germ-a-phob, so I probably would not have touched her, but I would have acknowledged her presence. I tend to smile at little children and the elderly. I don't know why.
Once my hubby asked if I wanted a little girl, because I am always laughing & giggling with thtem in the stores. I must have a magnet or something because children and elderly people love to talk to me. I have quite a bit of experience with kids, but not so much with the elderly. I think she maybe thought you reminded her of someone, perhaps a son, or a long lost love. Their time here is limited, we should be as caring as we can.
There was once a story about a taxi driver that went to pick up a fare to take her to an old age home. He waited for a long time for her to come out, when other taxi drivers may have just left. He drove her around the city all night while she reminisced about what things used to be and her life. In the dawn, she finally went to the home. She thanked him for letting her have one last look at her past, before being shut up in a home. She had no children, no husband to care for her. When he left, he stopped down the road and cried. She had touched him as much as he touched her.
You never know when you are going to make someone's day. or how much of an impact your kind actions will have in their lives.
4 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
Thank you for sharing. You have such a big heart. You are right that their time here is limited and we should be as caring as we can.
The story about that taxi driver was nice too.
4 people like this
@terri0824 (4991)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I've read this story before. A very touching one at that. I do believe if it was me in the situation, and she looked as if she needed assistance, I would have reached my hand out to assist her without giving it a second thought. So Lordwarwizard what will you do the next time a situation like this happens?
5 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
I don't know... you know, part of me really wanted to take her hand and assure her. But I am paranoid of diseases and all - if anything happens to me, I wouldn't have the money for the doctor. I wouldn't want to burden my family either.
Can you perhaps see my dilemma? I really wanted to reach back.
5 people like this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
11 Jun 07
I would have probably helped her into the car. I am the first to jump in to help any one esp. the old and young.
I look around when I leave a store to see if there are any handicapped or elderly persons that may need some help getting to their car or loading their groceries in their car. I just can't help myself from doing this. I guess it is the Girl Scout(Guide) in me!!
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
You are so helpful! Girl guide spirit yea! :P
2 people like this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
11 Jun 07
You look like a person to me who is always reluctant and finds it very hard to give and to reach out. Sometimes you just have to do things and not think too much, if you are always calculating and thinking, the opportunity to do something good always passes you by. This is the way of the big cynic and skeptic..I feel very sad if I were to walk in someone's shoes where I would have to think to help an old fragile lady, whether rich or poor. As a gentleman I would have offered help..and not thought about diseases lol..No one can catch aids like that. But good discussion, I like it, very funny..
I hope some one will offer me a hand of love and support because right now I am swamped with loads of admin work and restructuring of jem invest because I have just gone over the books and things are a bit tight lol..
3 people like this
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
12 Jun 07
You are right in your assessment, barbie. And I only "just do it" when I am drunk. Lol :P
And yes, I am a big big skeptic and my mind is always calculating (different from being calculative though).
But the thing is the old lady was not in need. She has TWO maids to help her. If she has fallen on the road with no one to help, you can be sure that I will rush forward to help her.
3 people like this
@aretha (2538)
• United States
11 Jun 07
i would of takin her hand just because i think they are like small kids. they enjoy people and have no worries. i have been around many older people like this and they all seem to be this way. my grandmother was like this with everyone and some people were unsure of her as well. i don't think you did a bad thing just everyone is different and thinks different. i have been around a lot of older people and know how they can be. now i think my husband would of been like you and been unsure of what to do.
i had never heard the story about the letter but it sure gives you alot to think about. thanks for sharing it.
3 people like this
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
11 Jun 07
I would have reached out and touched her hand and considered it a blessing for myself. Nothing against you, lordwarwizard, but I think we don't take enough time to reach out and touch others in the world today. I would not have passed up this opportunity.
3 people like this
@sameen0705 (349)
• Pakistan
12 Jun 07
I would take her hand and help her.YOU can catch germs from anyone ,you dont have to be old to be sick.
3 people like this
