Would you report your friend?

It does sound like your friend has a problem with this adoption. She sounds resentful. And yes, I would never leave a sick child alone, let alone two children. What was she thinking?? I would report here. You have to think of those children and they deserve better care than that.

I would report her because it sounds like she is doing it because she is unhappy with the kids. I would report it.

would report her, I think that maybe she is doing what she does so that someone will report her and thus she will no longer be responsible for the child she adopted. She probably do not want to let the agency know that she no longer feel she can take care of the child, so her actions is to get them to do something.

I think that you should report her ronaldinu. It is plain that she does not want to have anything to do with that child. Instead of having her continuing to maltreat that child it is best the child is sent back. Some persons does not realize that children are precious and they need all the care and love. Please my friend report her and if she ask you if you are the one who does it tell her yes. That child does not need a mother such as she.

I understand how hard this must be for you, ronaldinu. I don't know how long you have been friends with this woman, but I do understand your desire to be loyal to her. But you can see for yourself that something is very, very wrong with the situation. As hard as it may be, you need to be able to step back and look at the whole situation without emotion getting in the way. Look at the facts: She left an extremely sick 8-year-old boy and a toddler alone at home for several hours. They were left for three hours before grandma came to check on them. This is wrong on SO many levels. Even under the best of circumstances, 8 years old is too young to be left at home alone. And an 8-year-old is not mentally or emotionally ready to be babysitting a toddler. Even the most mature 8-year-olds can get into trouble around the house. Accidents can happen. How would this mother feel if one of the children got hurt or killed because of her negligence? Add in the fact that he was suffering an extremely high fever--why hasn't this boy seen a doctor? Until his temperature comes down, he needs to be monitored to make sure he doesn't take a turn for the worse. And he's expected to take care of his sister by himself? With that kind of illness I'm willing to bet he spent the whole time asleep or in a semi-conscious state, which would leave the 3-year-old to wander the house alone. That's a recipe for danger. I'm assuming she is a single mom--there was no mention of a husband in your posts--and that she needs to work to support her family. I understand this position very well, as I am the sole breadwinner for my family. But I always keep things in perspective--I work to live, not live to work. In other words, my family always comes first. I never leave the house until I know my children are in safe hands. And what about the grandma who came to "check on" the kids? First of all, if there is a grandma in the picture, then this woman does have someone to look after the kids. So why not ask her to babysit? And if grandma knew the kids were alone, why did it take her three hours to show up? It sounds as though she cares about these kids as much as their mom does. I believe that any child services agency would find this to be a clear-cut case of neglect. I'm not sure which country you are in or what your laws state, but here, "failure to provide the necessities of life" is a chargeable offense. I believe what you describe falls into that category. The one incident is disturbing enough. But it sounds as though this woman has more than a few issues with parenting. She adopted a child--a conscious decision on her part--and now she can't love this child because of some learning problems? Children are not merchandise. They do not come with instruction manuals. There are no guarantees, no exchanges and no refunds. And no child is ever "perfect". I understand very well how it is to raise a child with learning disabilities. No, it is not easy. My son is now 10 and he still struggles with learning as well as ADD issues. But he is also a sweet, loving boy who is very talented in other areas. And if I only focused on his disabilities, I would be blind to all the other wonderful qualities that make him so special. It sounds to me as though your friend is trying to blame the adoption agency for the fact that this little girl is less than perfect. But at the same time, I'm sure that the agency would not place a special-needs child into a home that is not equipped to deal with those needs. Your friend presented herself to the agency as someone who was ready to open her heart and home to a child. Ask yourself: who is deceiving who in this situation? These children deserve a loving home. It doesn't sound as though they are getting it here. More importantly, they are being placed in situations that are potentially life-threatening, and they are not being cared for properly. This must be brought to someone's attention. If you stand back and watch it happen without saying anything, that makes you just as guilty. You are in a position to make a difference to these children, ronaldinu. As painful as it may be, you must report this woman.

Report her! A disability does not mean neglecting medical care, a fever of 103 needs attention...well I just saw you said 103C, Im not sure what that mean in F though. But if she is neglecting her children than they deserve better treatment. She adopted, therefore she has a responsibility to provide care.

I would report the situation. Leaving a sick child and a three year old home alone is not good. It is possible if you report the situation, counseling for your friend could be brought in to help her make that bond with the child that has delayed speech. It would help her to overcome the feeling of being trick by an agency. It sounds like your friend is overwhelmed by her own fears and is having a hard time dealing with things. I would report her but only to get her some help that is needed. She might not know what options are open to her. You might need to open that door for her so she can see what is available for her and her children.

Better have a heart to heart with your friend on this matter and warn her that you are going to report her for child neglect if she will do it again. . A child, whether normal or abnormal, deserves to be loved. If she can't handle taking good care of the child, she better seek some professional help on what to do with the child. it is a pity on the child to be neglected and the child is so innocent to suffer such neglect.

I don't know what I would do, you're in a very bad situation. Tell your friend that if she does this again someone will probably report her. Encourage her to get some family counseling before it damages her and her children further. Where is the father? Do you think she doesn't spend time with the little one and that might be why she doesn't talk much? These children sound neglected. Whatever you do, please try to get her to seek help with her feelings. Those children deserve a better life than they have with her and if she can resolve her feelings it will be better for all of them.

I would report her, if she can not give the children a loving home just because of their learning difficulties, or even if it was something worse, then she should not be of custody!

yes, if they were neglecting their children i would. i would probably try to talk to her first but someone needs to see that the children are being taken care of.

My thoughts are more for protecting the children than the mother. Is she married? Have you approached the husband? I have reported child neglect and abuse a few times and, unfortunately, I was right. I only suspected. You have a clear cut case. I would sit down with them and let them know that this is neglect, clear and simple and that you will not allow it. I would not report it... yet, but wait until you talk to them. Not all parents who make stupid mistakes are neglectful, and this could have been a stupid choice, but they should not be let off lightly. I would call child protection and ask them about this. Not give names but seen what they have to say. So, my answer is, YES, I would report a friend. Not to hurt the friend but help the children.

I would report them. Also tell them that I'd be happy to take the little girl from them. Just put her on a plane with a name tag and I'll pick her up at the airport. I'll even fly there and take her. I would love to have a child.

if she is leaving her children unattended i most certainly would think of the children who only have you for protection

I'd report the neglect regardless of who it was. Friend or not, there is no excuse for neglecting a child or for treating children bad. I know it would be hard to report a friend, however, friend or not, they need to get into trouble and pay for their actions. Reporting can be anoymously so there is no way for her to find out that you were the one that reported her. That should make the process easier.

Yes, I would report her. You never leave a children home alone when they are that age especially when one is sick. Your loyalty is for the kids not the mother. They are helpless children who needs someone to take care of them and love them unconditionally and your friend cant do that. They need to be in safe enviorment as well and she cannot offer that. I have a son with a learning disability and autism but it has never kept me from bonding with him. She is just using that as a excuse. If you dont report her something really bad could happent to those kids and then you going to wish you had stepped in.

That really is a tough situation. Those kids are way too young to be left alone in the house. I think someone needs to be monitoring that situation. She may be your friend but you have to look out for the children first.

Hi ronaldinu~ So that was the mother who left the sick child home alone with the 3 year old! Not only is she a horrible neglectful mother, but she is still torturing the little girl! You should have reported her long ago about what she is doing to this little girl! And now she has left her sick child home alone with a fever and with a 3 year old child! This woman is not fit to be a parent of any children! You really should step in, even if you have to do it without her knowing who is doing the reporting! She is neglecting her children, both of them! She has still not bonded with the daughter yet? This is so wrong and you know it and someone needs to step in for the sake of this poor girl! This woman needs mental help!

I believe that you should report your friend. I'm sure this would be a very difficult decision for you to make because of your friendship, but I think you should do what is best for the children. A parent should never leave children of that age home alone, let alone a child with a high fever. I do not care about the amount of time that the children were left because this type of behavior is too irresponsible for a parent. It also sounds like your friend has an issue with her adopted daughter. If the child has learning and communication problems, it may be very difficult for her to make a connection, but the child will have future problems without such a connection. I also cannot imagine an adoptive agency trying to trick a parent. They want the children to live in a safe and loving environment and pre-screen parents before releasing the children to them. They also inform parents if the child has any mental or physical conditions before the adoption. I think in this situation, you have to report your friend for the sake of the children.

I should report her to the proper authorities. It seems she's doing it for a purpose and rebellious act due to the situation she's been into.