David Royce

@spleendingo1 (799)

Grand Haven, Michigan • Age 61

Joined myLot 9 years ago

I like horror and comedy. I write about weird stuff that pops into my head. Don't take it too seriously!

Discussions (17)

David Royce's Discussions

Butcher Babies Kind Of Day

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 26 Nov 15

The Butcher Babies are one of my favorite new metal bands and when it's time to rock, they are my go-to band. Today is one of those days because I have a three day weekend, I have a 30 pack of beer, and I have Black Ops 3. It'll...

butcher babies

music

black ops 3

1 response •

3 people

Paris

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 14 Nov 15

A terrorist attack in Paris France has, as of the time of this writing, left at least 128 dead and several more wounded. It has also left millions grieving. As many of you know I usually write something stupid. My wheelhouse are...

paris

attack

france

6 responses •

5 people

Murderous Meat

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 4 Nov 15

Vegans love to tell you that meat is murder. They say this right after they tell you they are vegans, which is the first thing they’ll tell anyone as if it’s actually part of their name. “Hello, my name’s Patti IMAVEGAN”. While...

meat

bacon

dna

6 responses •

6 people

7 Days, 8 Movies

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 30 Oct 15

Part of the perks of running my horror website are the amount of free stuff I get for reviews. Last week I was given free screeners of this fantastic series from After Dark Films called "8 Films To Die For". Each year they release...

9 responses •

8 people

Pony Up Bro!

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 27 Oct 15

I’ve come to the conclusion that ponies make the best pets. I came to this conclusion after exhaustive, painstaking research that involved a trip to my local animal shelter. Actually, that was the entire part of the “exhaustive”...

pets

ponies

humor

9 responses •

10 people

Hairy Details

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 24 Oct 15

I have to admit that besides my strange, long, and generally gross hair that grows from various parts of my body, I have an awesome person to tame that beast. I go in once a week to have my hair shaved, lasered, and eradicated...

8 responses •

7 people

Rock and Roll Hall of LAME

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 14 Oct 15

I was outraged. I was offended. I was nonplussed (and, yes, that’s the correct way to use that word smarty pants). I sank in my chair, the one without the semen stains that look like the face of Steve Buscemi, and wondered aloud...

rock and roll

hall of fame

motorhead

8 responses •

9 people

Are We Smarter Than A Toddler?

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 7 Oct 15

I like most kids. It's obvious I'm nothing if not childish and I get their mind set. Give me a 6 year old in a Wal-mart with a cage full of bouncy balls, and someone's getting kicked out! If it's not packaged or behind glass, I'm...

13 responses •

9 people

For The PEEPLE

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 2 Oct 15

There's an app coming this November that most of you will probably want to know about. Even if you never plan on downloading or using it, it could affect you. It's called PEEPLE. And it's either the most awesome thing ever, or...

2 responses •

1 person

I Figured This Out.

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 29 Sep 15

I've finally figured out how to tell how people are doing in their life. It was there all along but being the simple minded buffoon that I am, it took me awhile to see it. This is, like, a "secret of life" thing. But instead of...

furniture

lifestyle

poverty

6 responses •

6 people

SOFT Bank? More Like HARD Bank!

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 24 Sep 15

The Japanese firm, SoftBank Mobile, have developed what they call an "emotional robot". This machine of metal and blinking lights can learn human emotions such as empathy, love, and joy. The idea, obviously, is so dudes like me...

robot

sex

technology

3 responses •

4 people

Keep On Writing.

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 22 Sep 15

People want to know how to write gooder....or better....or whatever it is. Obviously I haven't learned yet. But the old saying is true. To do anything better, practice until you get better, or gooderer. Except sky diving. If you...

comedy

humor

writing

7 responses •

7 people

Movie Time!

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 18 Sep 15

There are two things that define my life. Comedy and horror. Which kind of makes sense because if you've ever heard about my love life you would know it usually ends in either blood or laughter. That's why this weekend should be...

5 responses •

5 people

Fare Thee Well Sparky.

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 15 Sep 15

I have a feeling sometimes that the people I hang around with are not right in the head. Make no mistake, I'm not either. But sometimes the amount of time we waste trying to humiliate, insult, and mess with each other seems...

6 responses •

6 people

Dating A Redhead.

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 14 Sep 15

My current love life is about as empty as a Kardashian's head, but I used to date a redhead. We got along well although she would get tired of me making fun of her for being freckled and, obviously because of her hair color, a...

dating

redhead

humor

4 responses •

4 people

My Friday Night

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 11 Sep 15

It's currently Friday night where I live. We seem to get excited for Fridays and I have to tell you, I kind of feel bad for the rest of the week. Monday takes a bad rap, Tuesdays are ignored, Wednesdays are only celebrated because...

3 responses •

3 people

Thinking is dangerous.

David Royce @spleendingo1 (799) • Grand Haven, Michigan 11 Sep 15

I thought of a great idea at work today. I heard that the famous Playboy magazine has been suffering a decline in sales lately. I then thought that I couldn't recall seeing one in any stores for a long time. And it hit me....

playboy

humor

ideas

4 responses •

6 people